Connected Souls
by anastasia.desilva
Summary: AS is frm S'pore working as airhostess & engaged to Karthi but there is no romance.AS proceed to marry Karthi but without love,will the marriage survive?She hs seen CG in hr ets in a flight.CG hs a sub but attracted to AS & chases her.AS pushes CG away but CG will get her. How?Will AS fall for CG?Will CG & AS find love?Credits goes to EL James. I only own the story line.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

* * *

I look out of my apartment and I can see Changi Airport. Ahh... time to get to work. I work with Singapore Airlines as air hostess and live in a one bedroom apartment. My parents has migrated to Australia with my elder sister who has secured a job as lecturer with Charles Sturt University at Sydney. I pursued my dream to become and airhostess and by 21 I started working with Singapore Airlines... that's me... Anastasia Steele. My dad, Raymond Steele has long ago migrated to Singapore from the states and joined one of the big company in Singapore. He met my mother Jeniffer Jacinta Bennedict and got married. Now after retirement, they decided to follow my sister who managed to obtain Australian PR leaving me alone... which I don't mind. I have been a loner since small. Unlike my sister, Venessa Steele, who was popular, I have always kept to myself... very contrast to the career that I have chosen.

I am with Singapore Airlines for the last 3 years and now doing long hauls. I am flying to US today... San Francisco with a stop over for an hour or so at Hong Kong. I got into my routine of getting ready for work.

* * *

'Welcome to Singapore Airlines, Sir..' Gosh.. even in first class.. it is full capacity. It is going to be a tiring flight. We will have some passengers to take in Hong Kong. Hong Kong is a heaven to shop but today we don't have the time. One hour stop is nothing for us.. After all the passengers are onboard, the head stewardess started giving safety instructions…after liftoff, I started serving drinks and soon dinner. Night flights are a little relaxing as we get to shut eyes for a little while.

'Ana.. baby.. you are so beautiful.. .mine. come for me… and I found my release to.'

Uhh… that was a stupid wet dream.. I get up from my seat and head to refresh myself. Damn I am wet from the dream. Who is this man? I have never seen him in my whole life and I am dreaming of him having sex with me and declaring his love to me. I have read about dreams and even consulted a psychiatrist and I have not got an answer on why I am having such dreams. After refreshing… it is time to land at Hong Kong.

We air hostess always meet successful businessmen on board and majority of them thinks that we give in to anything that they request.. I mean _anything_ ... I was lucky that the passengers assigned to me today is decent enough. Lucky me. There is one more passenger left to get in and there is five minutes before the door closes. Since it is night.. I decided to get ready some blankets. ' Tasha.. your last passenger is in... He is hot! You lucky girl!' Monica chirps.. My colleagues calls me Tasha instead of Ana or Anastasia.

During my training, there were few of us with the same short name - Ana - and to differentiate us, I ended up with Tasha and that name stick to me for my career.

I quickly straighten up and walk towards the seat. 'Good evening Sir.. Welcome to Singapore Airlines business class. May I take your coat sir.' The man looks up and oh dear, such a beautiful eyes, sexy lips.. ' Good evening miss... Sure..here. Thank you.' I took his coat and I walk back to the coat compartment..' Hey Tasha.. the sexy hunk is calling..' Monica snaps me out of my trance..

'Yes sir, may I help you? I am Tasha, your air hostess for this trip.' He looks up and yes it is definitely him..The guy from my dream.

'Yes Miss Tasha.. Can I have some wine please?'

'Chilled sir?'

'Yes please..' he smiles ... very beautiful smile..sexy as hell.

'The flight is taking off in about a minute. May I fetch it for you once we are air bound?'

'Oh..Sorry I was unaware. Sure Miss Tasha.'

'Please fasten your seat belt sir.'

Thank you miss.'

His eyes are very intense... His penetrating gaze says something. I walk back to my seat after fetching the passengers list. In my three years flying, I have never checked the passengers list to know the passenger's name. Today I must find out...the man who has been having sex with me in my dreams and left me wet just now. As the plane lifts from the ground, I found his name - Christian Grey. We are on air... captain has removed the seatbelt sign. i grab few glasses of cold wine and offered to Mr Grey

'Sir, your wine...'

'Thank you Miss Tasha...' My name melts in his tongue.

Our fngers brushed and I felt a zap of shock. I am professional enough not to show it. I wonder if he felt it too. After attending to few other passengers, i collected the empty wine glass and settled at my seat.. I feel this is going to be a very long flight for me...

* * *

'Yes sir, may I help you? I am Tasha, your air hostess for this trip.'

Beautiful! Such a clear face... pale skin... brunette.. I have to wait to be on air before I get my wine. The way the uniform is wrapping her figure.. .I am pretty sure ... she has nice curves and flesh at the right location. But she looks very familiar. Where did I see her..

_You have Merci waiting naked at home! She will be there for you to f*** senselessly... why are you looking at some other woman! Get your act right!_ Yah.. Merci.. my current sub... who also have similar features like Tasha... but there is something about Tasha... There is a electrical shock when our fingers brushed... I must find out about her.


	2. Chapter 2 - First Meet

Thank you for all the follows and favorites.. not to forget the reviews. So… I have opted to write about dejavu and here it goes.. I have set up pintrest board titled 50 Shades Dejavu.

* * *

Why am I even thinking about Christian Grey… I must be nuts.. gosh. Most of the passengers are asleep and I decided to read a book. I can't tolerate another wet dream!

While serving breakfast, I meet Christian Grey again. ' Your breakfast sir…' he smiles… a cynical smile. I wonder what he is thinking.

'Thanks Tasha… can you please get me some plain water.'

'Sure sir..'

After fetching his water, I got myself busy with the lunch. There is no much difference between first class and business class meals. Two of us, Monica and myself started serving lunch and we have another six hour before landing.

'Tasha! We have three days at San Francisco…. Have you got any plans?'

'Hmmm… I am not sure.. I am not in the mood to shop…'

'Stop it Tasha… you are following me… we are going to have fun!'

'I got to go… a passenger is calling.'

'Mr Ting, how can I help you.'

'Ammmm I want a cup of tea… hot.'

'Sure sir..'

I walk back to the kitchen to fetch the tea.

'What he wanted?'

'Hot tea… I think he is from Hong Kong.'

'Nah.. Singapore… he lives near me… womanizer.'

'Monica!'

'Hahahaha… umm I have something to do now..'

We got busy attending to passengers but Mr Grey has been quiet. He never called me after breakfast. While walking pass his seat, 'Mr Grey… is everything fine with you?'

'Oh.. yes Ms Tasha… can I get some white wine?'

'Chilled?'

'Yes…'

'Sure sir.'

And after the wine and lunch… he just kept to himself. Maybe I am over – reacting about him. It is just a stupid static and dream. I should get over it. He is beyond handsome to be single and available. The weather is in favor that we are landing according to schedule.

'Thank you for flying with Singapore Airlines…' I have to repeat this to all 8 first class passengers as Monica wanted to assist passengers from their seats… yeah that little prick… she would try to sink her claws on every successful man.

'I want to marry a rich man and settle down.. I don't want to slog my whole life like my mother!' was her exact words.

'See you around Ms Tasha. It was wonderful to have you around.'

'Urmm.. .Thank you Mr Grey.' And how can he see me around. I am flying out of Sanfrancisco in two days time.

A group of us walk out of the airport. We are checked into Westin Hotel which is close to the airport. I just want to retire for the day as the rest wanted to go clubbing. It is so not me.

'Nope.. I am not coming.' I said firmly and I am glad that the room is facing the bay. Thankfully they have given up on me and decided to go ahead with their plans. Now time to soak in the hot bath and enjoy my book.

* * *

All air hostess are walking to Wastin… I am sure Tasha will be stationed there too. There is some attraction which wants me to get close to her. _She is Asian… stop your nonsense Grey! She won't be interested. You have a sub and why are you going after another?_ Just shut up!

I decided to hang out in their lobby bar. Almost an hour later, the group of air hostess walk out but Tasha was not with them. Where is she? I requested for a room – executive suite and waited for the room. While waiting at the lobby, gorgeous Tasha walks to the dining wearing a white dress with a tiny green cardigan. She has a natural beauty and a very beautiful smile. I guess for dinner. That is my chance!

* * *

I walk into the dining because I am too lazy to walk out. I have been to San Francisco like umpteen times and I am bored of this place. I would be nice if I can explore a new place. Darn Singapore Airlines… I wonder when they will change my route.

After choosing my seat, I started my dinner and suddenly, 'May I join?'

I look up and it is the gray eyes of Mr Grey!

'Urm..sure…' what else can I say. He sits opposite me and the waiter comes to take our order.

'I will have steak, medium rare with vegetables and wine. Pinot Giorgio.'

'Certainly sir… and ma'am?'

'I will have fish and chips with vegetables and fresh orange.'

'Anything else sir? Ma'am?'

'No thank you.' We said in unison.

I place my book on the table and Christian note the book.

'Pride and Prejudice? Very deep…'

'I love literature.'

'You are a Singaporean?'

'I have US citizenship but I am living in Singapore my entire life.'

'oh.. Why in Singapore?' he looks surprised. I felt I owe him an explanation.

'My dad is from US and he was working in Singapore when he met my mom. They decided to give birth in States for the citizenship but we resided in Singapore.'

'I see… interesting. I am Christian Grey. I live in Seattle.'

'I am Anastasia Steele.'

'Anastasia… beautiful name for a beautiful woman. You don't look American though..'

'My mom is a Chinese Indian mix. So that explains my look.'

'Exotic..'

It sounds more like exotic creature. There is something eerie about him. His gaze is intimidating.

'So Anastasia… tell me about you.'

Huh… why should I?

'Erm… please call me Ana…and why do you want to know about me?'

'You are different, Anastasia.'

'Different meaning?'

'Different.. unique… interesting.'

'Thanks.. There is nothing about me that is unique or interesting.'

Our dinner arrives. I have lost my appetite to eat.

'Why were you in Hong Kong?'

'I am trying to close a deal in Asia. They are based in Hong Kong.'

'What do you for living Mr Grey?'

He smiles… secretively and finally he replies, 'I own a business in Seattle.'

'Oh… and why are you still here?'

'My flight to Seattle is tomorrow afternoon, so I think I am stuck here with you.'

What the hell?

'I believe you will find something to fill your time.' I smirk. 'Are you a frequent flyer with Singapore Airlines?'

'This is my first time… it is pretty enjoyable.'

'Glad you liked it.'

'Do you have plans to migrate to US?'

'No Mr Grey… I am happy in Singapore.'

I am almost done with my dinner and the more I hear his voice… the wetter I am getting. I need to get out of his penetrating gaze and this dinner is getting very uneasy.

'I have to go, Mr Grey.'

'What is the rush Ms Steele?'

That is a first… I have never been addressed as Miss Steele. In Asia, we are always called with our given name instead of family name.

'I have to make calls back home.'

'Dinner is on me Ms Steele. '

'Don't trouble yourself Mr Grey.'

'It's my pleasure.'

Christian pays the bill and he walks with me to the elevator. I press 11 and he presses 21 – suites… that should cost a bomb. In the elevator, I can feel electrical charges are charging between us and I peak through my lashes and I notice he is smiling. Thank god my floor comes quickly.

'Thank you for the dinner Mr Grey.'

'Thank you for the company Anastasia.' And the door closes.

Phew… I hurried to the room and drop myself on the bed. He is so intense. After changing into my night gown, the phone rings. I wonder if it is from the room service.

'Hello?'

'Anastasia…'

Oh Dear… Christian.. .How did he?

'How did you find out my room?'

'I am a man of all means.'

'What do you want?' I tried not to sound irritated. He was our customer in a way.

'Can we meet for breakfast tomorrow?'

Huh… what the hell?

'I have…' and he cuts me off…

'Before I leave… can I meet you for breakfast?'

His voice is soft and seductive and it sound very erotic.

'Fine..' I replied softly.

'See you at 8.' Those words were filled with unspoken promises.

'Eight.' And I hang up. Why did I agree for breakfast? What is he doing to me? He has been in my dreams.. he has traveled with me.. we had dinner and now breakfast? My phone rings and it brings me back to earth.. Oh dear… I have forgotten to call!

'Hello Karti!' My...

-To be continued-

Any guess who Karti is?


	3. Chapter 3 - Breakfast Date

'Hello Karthi!' My boyfriend.

'Hey Ana… Where are you?'

'San Francisco. I will be flying back day after tomorrow.'

'I am missing you like crazy.'

'I miss you too..' That is a lie… I have not thought of Karthi since I met Christian.

'Look… I called because mom wanted to come to your parents place when they are at Singapore to discuss about the engagement and stuff.'

'Great… I will check with my parents and I will let you know.'

'Can't wait to make you my wife…'

I smiled.. but I know that it is not genuine. My mind still flies back to Christian.

'I love you…'

'Are you sick?'

'No … Why?'

'You sound dull..'

'I am just tired. We had full capacity and I did not get proper rest throughout the night.'

'Ok then baby.. I see you in two days time. Rest well.'

'Good night Karthi.'

I disconnect the line. I have a boyfriend who is waiting to be my husband and I have been having dreams of having sex with Christian. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

I change into my night gown and throw the comforter over my head and fall into troubled sleep.

* * *

It is 8 and I walk out of my room and Christian is walking down the corridor towards me. He is wearing a white shirt with the top two buttons undone and black jeans. I glance at the mirror at the corridor and feel happy that I am dressed appropriately, a light blue dress.

'Punctual Ms Steele..'

'I don't do late.'

'Let's go…' he clasp my hand and I definitely feel the electrical pulse radiating through my body. Karthi has held my hand before but I never felt the pulse… even seeing him does not brings any sensation but it is totally different when I see Christian. We walked out of the hotel and walk few blocks and we reached a small and cozy coffee house.

'You choose the table. I will get breakfast. What do you want?'

'Coffee.. less sugar.'

'Anything to eat…'

'Ummm… pancakes with maple syrup and a blueberry muffin.'

Christian nods and walks towards the counter and I pick a table at the back to the coffee shop by the window. Moments later, Christian walks to the table and places my coffee and a plate of pancakes and muffin in front of me and another cup of coffee and a plate of omelet and muffin for him. He settles down and looks straight into my eyes. It is very disarming.

'Thank you for breakfast Ms Steele.'

'Thank you.. Mr Grey… Please call me Ana.'

'Then call me Christian.'

I smile politely and started with my breakfast.

'Did you sleep well Ana?'

Oh dear.. what can I say? I had you having sex with me in my dreams? You have been in my dreams for years? Last night was a restless night knowing you are 10 floors above me?

'Yes… very well indeed. How about you?'

'You have been in my dreams.'

I stop eating and look at him surprised…

'Please don't stop. What I was trying to say is, I dreamt of you… you beautiful face… innocent smile… ' he trails off. I wonder what else he saw!

'Tell me about you Christian.'

'Hmm… well, I run my own business in Seattle. I have a brother and a younger sister. My parents lives in Seattle as well.'

I wait for him to continue and there is nothing.

'That's it?'

He smiles cynically.

'What do you want to know Anastasia?'

'Your family?'

Is he married? He has a girlfriend? I can't ask direct questions.

'I live on my own at down town. My brother has his own place few blocks away from me and my sister is in Paris. She is studying cookery and my brother is into construction bus9iness. My mother is a pediatric doctor at Seattle Hospital and my dad is a lawyer.'

Very influential family.

'Would you like to come to Seattle?'

Where did that come from?

'I am flying back to Singapore tomorrow. I don't think it is a good idea though.'

A few moments of awkward silence and finally it is broken with a loud crash of glasses. We both look at the direction and there is a brunette dropped her try and fall flat on her face. Poor girl. The waitresses were helping her. She blushed bright red and looks so embarrassed. She looks gorgeous with her blue eyes, pointed nose and pale white skin. She is petite and her hair is loose wavy frames her face perfectly. Christian seems to be looking at her longer then he should but who am I to stop him. Finally when the commotion is cleared he faces me again.

'Pretty girl.' I commented and he looks at me with a narrowed eyes.

'Yah.. But that is plain… you are exotic… difficult to find. Except for mixed blood.'

His pupil dilates and it is defiantly suggesting something else.

'Nah… My sister is the gorgeous one… I am plain looking Ana…' I put myself down. Yes.. my sister is very pretty.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes… I use to say my mother gave her looks to my sister. I am very plain looking.'

'Not to me. I have never seen a beauty like you.'

* * *

A pretty brunette has fallen face flat. She looks ok against Anastasia and she looks embarrassed. She would have been a good sub if not for Anastasia who is sitting with me now. She has all the…_Stop it Grey… you have Merci… and you are pursuing Anastasia… and another one.. Get a grip!_ I turn around to face Anastasia again.

'Pretty girl.'

Is she blind… Anastasia looks prettier and she is complementing another girl.

'Yah.. But that is plain… you are exotic… difficult to find. Except for mixed blood.' And I really would like to have you in all ways!

'Nah… My sister is the gorgeous one… I am plain looking Ana…'

My god.. what is wrong with this woman? Can't she see how beautiful she is? Maybe her sister might be prettier but there is something about Anastasia.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes… I use to say my mother gave her looks to my sister. I am very plain looking.'

'Not to me. I have never seen a beauty like you.' Not in any of my subs… they all look alike… but Anastasia has the attributes that I want but she still looks different. We are almost done with my breakfast and I have not got anything from her. If I let her go, then I can't find her again. But before that, I need to know if she is with anyone.

'Are you in a relationship, Anastasia?' and she gives a shocked look… I think she is.. She is too pretty to be alone. I see her feeling uncomfortable.

'Why do you ask?'

'I need to know.'

'Why you need to know?'

This woman is so frustrating.

'So I won't be left dreaming of you… I need to know.' Yah dream of you in various positions in my playroom.

'Dreaming of me? Why should you dream of me?'

Damn this is not going anywhere and I have to get the hell out of the hotel in another hour to catch my flight.

'It is something that I find it difficult to explain. This is my card. I really hope you will contact me. If you feel you could trust me, and then please call me.'

I have to show Anastasia what I have to offer. She may run to the hills but I am not sure where this is going. She picks up the card and examines.

'Fine.. I will think about it. What is it that you can't explain?'

'I need to show you. I can't explain it.'

'Do you have a dungeon that you use to torture woman and you want to show that to me?'

SMACK… RIGHT on the dot. She is too smart! Yes I have a dungeon.. but it is a playroom. I could not help but to smile at her.

* * *

'Do you have a dungeon that you use to torture woman and you want to show that to me?'

Where did that come from? I had odd dreams of him with some images where he is standing with a wooden ruler and me tied up on a wooden table. May be it is true and he wants to get me into the torture room! Damn he is smiling at me… Yes.. he is a sadist.

'Anastasia… call me. Let's go. I have a plane to catch.'

I put his card in my purse and walk back with Christian to the hotel. My mind keeps on drifting back to the images that I saw… it scares the daylight out me. Maybe he is not heart and flowers guy. We got into the elevator and I feel the charge again…. In a split second, he hits the stop button and pins me against the wall and held my hands over my head and pulled my hair so my face lifts up to meet his lips…. Such a passionate kiss that I never had before… I am lost in the moment. I part my lips and Christian took full advantage of it. I moan softly and finally when he releases, I am gasping for air. He lets me go and releases the elevator. What the hell was that. When the elevator stops at 11th floor, I gather myself and when I am about to step foot out, again Christian yanks me inside the elevator. He is holding the elevator open and I am facing him. His arms are around me.

'Think about calling me Anastasia… please… I will be waiting for your call.'

I could only nod. Finally, he releases me and I feel my legs has turn into jello.

'Where the hell have you been? I was looking for you for breakfast!' Monica half yells at me.

'Umm.. I walked out for breakfast.' My mind still drifts back to Christian's kiss. It was so intense.

'Why is your lips swollen?'

I quickly touched my lips and yes… it is swollen and sensitive..

'Umm.. I might have had some allergy.'

'Don't give me the bullshit. Where were you Tasha? You have never gone out without telling me.' Monica is now starting at me with a don-give-me-anymore-crap look.

'I went for breakfast.'

'With WHO'

'Christian' my voice came out small and more like a whisper.

'You what! Tasha… you have never gone out for breakfast or lunch or dinner or better said you never go out with anyone except your Karthi… and what is this?'

I slump on the bed with tears. What have I done?

'Tasha… is there anything that you want to talk about?'

'I don't know why I am attracted to him!' there I have said it. Yes I am attracted to him and I don't understand why. There is something scary about him .. something dark about him but I am so drawn to him. My tears are flowing full force. I realize I am being not faithful to Karthi.

'Hey girl.. here…' Monica passes me some tissues.

'Tasha… there is nothing wrong with you. You have known Karthi for your whole life. I think you are getting bored of him.'

'Nonsense.. I am getting married to him!' yeah… his parents are going to talk to my parents and we are supposed to get married in one year's time.

'What did Christian Grey told you?'

'He said something about showing me for me to understand him and he kept on saying I am pretty… he asked me to call him.'

'Call him then.'

'No Monica… you don't understand.'

'make me then.'

'Fine… see Monica… I have been having flashed images and dreams about Christian even before I met him. I was surprised to see him and now… I feel very drawn to him.'

Monica is looking at me with her eyes wide open and her jaws are on the floor.

'What!' I snap.

'Dejavu?'

'I think so… I even felt like going through this conversation before with you… but I am sure this is the first time I am talking to you about this. What is happening to me Monica?'

'It is Dejavu then…I have read about it. It is something that you feel it has happen but it has not… and sometimes you get it in your dreams and if you are lucky you will remember.'

It does make sense but I can choose to ignore it and carry on with my life.. My Karthi… I pull out a picture of me and Karthi from my purse and look at it. At the same time, Christian's card drops from my purse…What do I do now? Call Christian? Forget Karthi? Or just ignore that nothing ahs happen.


	4. Chapter 4 - CG Starts Stalking

The day passes without any interesting events… even I am out with the girls, I still have Christian behind my head. His kiss brings out feelings that I never had before… it is intense and different. I am confused and I notice Monica is eying me all the time.

'Tasha.. if you want to continue your life with Karthi… then get rid of Christian from your mind.'

'I am trying… I have never felt like this before.'

I just don't understand I feel that I am betraying Karthi… After a agonizing day, I am getting ready to fly back to Singapore in my flight SQ15 with a one hour stop over at Seoul. Just before I leave, the room phone rings. Monica is still applying her 1 inch thick make up.

'Hello?'

'Anastasia?'

'Yes..' Only Christian addresses me Anastasia. What the hell he wants…

'Are you ready to leave?'

'Yes..'

'Why have you not called me?'

'I…was busy…'

'Fine… have a safe trip… and I know you are lying. You was not even happy to be out with the girls. Call me..' his voice is so seductive. I close my eyes and pinch my nose bridge.

'How did you know I was out with the girls?'

'I have my ways.'

'I got to go.' I must end this.

'I will be waiting for your call when you arrive in Singapore.'

'I will not call you Christian. I have my own life. Please don't disturb me!' I yell over the phone and slam it down. No… I can't do this. Monica rushes out from the bath with half lips of red shade looking worried.

'Who was that?'

'Christian' I whisper and my eyes start tearing.

'Oh dear… what he wants?' Monica walks towards me with a concerned look.

'Asking why I didn't call him. How am I going to avoid him?' I just feel that he has his ways to track me and one day he is just going to turn up at my door in Singapore.

'Hey… he is calling you here because he knows you are here.. but when we leave… he won't know your whereabouts.'

'Monica… my brain says that he has his ways to find me… and one day he will find me… maybe even turn up at my doorstep.' Monica wipes my tear and hands me the tissue.

'Look… forget about the déjà vu that I was saying. He is NOT GOING TO FIND YOU! Get it?' she looks straight into my eyes and I want to believe her but I know… he will definitely find me.

XXXXX

'Hi Karthi..'

'Hey Ana… when did you get back?'

'Today early morning at 1. I didn't call you when I reached because it is so early in the morning.'

'Hey no problem. Wan to catchup for lunch? When are you flying again?

'I have a meeting today at 3. I will see you for lunch before the meeting.'

'Why?'

'There was a memo today for all long haul air hostesses. They are going to mixes up. No longer doing the same route.'

'Good for you! You have been complaining about being on the same route.'

'Yea… where shall I meet you?'

'Indian Street? At 1?'

'Fine.. see you then.'

'I throw my phone on my bed and start unpacking. While clearing my purse, again Christian's card falls out… Damn why am I keeping it? I chuck it under my planner and carried on unpacking. After picking out my dress - a white pants and purple top, I took my bath. I took the bus to Indian street and walk towards our favorite south Indian restaurant. As I am few steps away, I saw Karthi walking towards the shop.

'Hey!'

'Hi!'

We walk into the shop… no hand holding nothing… we hardly hold hand in public. I could count the number of time he has held my hand in public or the number of time he has kissed me… I could use my fingers to count… and trust me… I won't use all my fingers to count. But just the few hours with Christian, he held my hand, kissed me and made me forget myself..

After ordering,

'So.. Have you asked your parents?'

Huh… what am I suppose to ask?

'Have you forgotten?' he still smiles and sounds enthusiastic and I have no idea why.. What did I forget?

'Our engagement Ana.. .' oh dear.. How can I forget?

'Sorry Karthi…I did not get a chance to call my parents.. I am just exhausted from this trip. I was dead bored and had nothing to do and Monica dragged me around… gosh..' I fake tiredness…. In a way it was the truth.. Okay.. Half truth… I didn't have anything to do… I was bored… I went shopping with Monica… gosh… dinner and breakfast with Christian in less than 24 hours.

'I want to get you the engagement saree from India…' he has been going on about the engagement for half an hour. Wait saree?

'Are you planning an Indian style of engagement?'

'Yeah... Didn't we agree on it long time ago?'

Did we? Oh dear.. I am forgetting everything.

'Yah.. I remember.. sorry.'

'Hey.. Anything bothering you Ana?'

'My mind is drifting back to the memo and my coming meeting.' _And Christian._

'Don't worry... everything will be fine. Don't worry…' and he touches my knuckles… _hmmm I don't feel anything… what is wrong!_

'Come.. let me drive you to the airport.'

'thanks… ' After paying, Karthi drops me off at the Airport and assures me again that everything will be fine. I give him a weak smile and he drives off.

After a two hours of meeting, things was finalized and now I have schedules to San Francisco, Heath row, New York and LA. After collecting my schedule for the following week, Monica sends me home and I just want to shut down. Yah before that…

'Hi mom…'

'Hey honey… how are you?'

'I am good. How is dad and Ven'

'Ven is not back yet and Dad is out for run.'

'Right…'

'Where have you been lately?'

'I came back from San Francisco today early morning. Then I went for lunch with Karthi and I just got back. I want to sleep off and I am flying to New York day after tomorrow.'

'Honey… why not you come and stay with us here…. You can try to get into Qantas…'

'Mom.. I have to discuss something.'

'Yes darling.'

'Karthi..he.. umm'

'Go on darling.'

'His parents want to meet you guys to discuss about the engagement.'

'Fine dear… I will let you know when we are coming down.'

'k ma..'

'Annie…'

'Yah..'

'Are you ok?' _oh dear.. not her too… am I that obvious?_

'Yah.. I am fine..'

'You don't sound fine. You don't sound excited about the engagement. I mean.. You have been going out with him for half of your life!'

'Yea ma… I am just tired.' _You can lie to everyone… can you lie to yourself?_ My subconscious with her hands folded and tapping a foot.

'Ok dearie… I will call you back when I have the dates.'

'Love you mom…'

'Love you Annie.'

There... even she suspects… I just pull the comforter over my head and sleep.

* * *

Why she has not called me. Taking it up at Merci is not helping. I can't get Anastasia out of my mind.

'Taylor... What happen to the background check?' I sound more annoyed then I intend to.

'Sir, Welch counterpart at Singapore has not got back to him. I have checked this morning. I will check this afternoon again.'

'Do that Taylor.' I head to the gym. Nothing seem to take my mind off Anastasia. Finally at 2 I get the details I want.

Name : Anastasia Rose Steele

Age : 24 (4/3/1989)

Address : A-4-21, Skypark Apartment, Williams Street, Singapore

Mobile : 011 + 65 + 8356 4471

Banking Details : United Overseas Bank – 222-45781 ; Balance $46251.80

Occupation : Air Hostess

Education : Diploma in Secretarial, Air Hostess training

Employment : Singapore Airlines

Political Aff : Nil

Religious Aff : Christianity and Hinduism

Sexual Orient : Not Known

Relationship : Karthi - Boyfriend

Mother : Jeniffer Jacinta Bennedict – Chinese Indian Mix

Father : Raymond Steele – American

Sister : Vennesa Steele

Family residing at Sydney Australia

No wonder she is so resistant – She has a boyfriend. _She has a boyfriend and you have a sub! Get rid of her… you don't need her to fly half the globe just for your weekend activity! Get a life. Call Merci!_ Shut up!

She having a boyfriend is not going to stop me. Now I have her number. Let's see if she answers. Even if its 11 night.

'Hello?' and I hear a yawn.

Even she yawning is sexy.

'Anastasia….'

'Christian?!' she whispers… and her breathing has changed. I have got an effect on her. That is promising.

'How did you find me?!'

'I have my ways baby… If I want something… I will get it.. and I want _you '_I whisper the you. And her breathing is erratic now. _Very promising!_

'Look.. Christian.'

There… she is getting upset… I've got her.

'You've got my attention dear.'

'Stop calling me dear! And second! Don't ever call me! Get it!' and the line goes dead. She can't get me out of her mind to. Now… I must get her flight schedule…

'Welch!'


	5. Chapter 5 - Ana and Karthi

_Thank you for all the reviewers, readers, followers and favorites. I am sorry for not updating this story for a long time. Here is an update for everyone._

* * *

How on earth did he manage to find my phone number? Doesn't this man knows boundary? How can he sound so seductive? I … ah… I can't forget him... DARN CHRISTIAN GREY!

* * *

'Hi Karthi…'

'Hi Ana… how did your meeting go yesterday?'

'Yeah it was fine.. they are rotating our routes… now I have different routes to fly… London, New York..'

'That's good.'

'Anyway.. I have spoke to my mom and she will let me know when they are coming down. I will let you know once their tickets are confirmed.'

'I can't wait to make you mine… I have even picked a tamil name for you.'

'Huh… what is it?'

'I will let you know. You understand why right…'

'Yeah… your grandmother can't understand why I have American name… and look like a Indian… or better said… why I am so mixed up..' I laugh…

'Ana… I got to run for a meeting. I will call you later ok. When are you flying out again?'

'Today one something in the morning. Direct flight to Heathrow.'

'Can I see you for dinner?'

'Sure… I will have dinner before I clock in.'

'See you at 7.'

'Bye.'

Click… gone… no bye… no love you… nothing… so unromantic. But wait, Karthi has never been romantic… he is caring, loving and concern about me.._but he is not romantic… you don't feel anything when he kisses you… unlike Christian. _Shut the hell up I told my subconscious.

I started packing my clothes.

I hope I won't be meeting any Christian Grey or Mathews Black… or some Mr Green. Once was tiring enough.

* * *

'When will you be returning from London?' Karthi asks me during dinner.

'Day after tomorrow evening. I will let you know when my parents are coming down to Singapore when I return. They haven't told me anything up to now.'

'No worries. I have called Kanchipuram to book a date for us to pick our engagement sarees. I have told them all your favorite colors – Red, orange, blue. Anything you want to add?'

'It is fine… I am thinking of blue. Do you think the color will suit me?'

'Oh Ana.. All colors will suit you. You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever laid my eyes on.'

That is the most romantic thing he has told me in the last 12 years. Good that he is making an effort but wait… why am I not blushing? I blushed with Christian.

'Thank you Karthi… I am full. I can't eat anymore.'

'Ana… you only had one chapatti with those miserable long beans and you say you are full?'

'Yes I am.'

'Mom is excited about the engagement. Even though the norm is that engagement is arranged by the bride, in our case… it is going to be on my side because your parents are not here.'

'Karthi… let me pay for it. It is not fair for your parents.'

'Ana.. it is not important.'

This is not going anywhere and my mind had started to drift to Christian as the time grows nearer to boarding time. Karthi drops me at the airport and I head to the changing room to change into my uniform.

* * *

Such an unexciting flight. All the passengers are sleeping… all 8 first class passengers.

'Dreaming of your Mr Grey, Tasha?'

'Monica… stop it. I am resting. Karthi is arranging for our engagement. He is getting our engagement saree from India.'

'That is wonderful. When are you flying there?'

'I am not sure yet. He has not confirmed the dates. He is waiting for my parents to come down. They will be discussing on the dates and stuff.'

'Tasha… give me a second honey. I need to deliver a glass of whiskey to the gentleman.'

I sit at my seat quietly refuse to think anything until Monica returns.

'Tasha… '

'Yes.. I am just resting my eyes.'

'So… you are over Christian?'

'Monica… Christian found my number. He called me at my house. I am not sure how…'

'What?!' she half yells. Lucky enough no one else noticed.

'Yes… he called me and I slam the phone down.'

'Tasha… I think you have to be careful of this man.' I nod in agreement.

* * *

'Welcome on board Sir…' I greet to the very first passenger boarding the plane Singapore bound and continue and when the last one boards…

'Well…' gulp.

'Hi Anastasia…..'


	6. Chapter 6 - First Private Meet

Thank you for the favorites and follows and All Reviewers.. Thank you very much.

* * *

'MMmm Mr Ggrey.. Wewellcome t..'

'Thank you Anastasia. I am glad to be on board _with you_ to Singapore.'

Gulp. Oh my… how on earth did he find me here? I can't even string a sentence after seeing him. I pull the door close and secure it while Monica prepares to give safety measure briefing. I can't face him. After the briefing, we all strap up at our designated seat and I manage to hide at the air-hostess cabin until Monica returns.

'Hey… that Mr Grey of yours is on board. He is flying to Singapore.'

'I know… I saw him.'

'I think he is stalking you… '

'Monica…stop scaring me.'

'I am not… how on earth can he find you here… on this flight… on this specific route… to Singapore? Why is he going to Singapore? He could have taken a different flight .. different…'

'Stop Monica. You are scaring me.'

'He is calling … go go..' Monica shoos me. I walk to his chair and off the light and say, 'May I help you Mr Grey?'

'Anastasia… can I have some wine please… you know how I like it.' His voice is smooth as velvet… where is all my anger? Where is all my irritation?

'Chilled white wine, Mr Grey.' And I walk away.

'What he wants?' Monica whispers.

'Wine…'

'Oh… he didn't ask anything else?'

'Nope' I pop the 'p' and walk away with the wine.

'Your wine sir.'

'Thank you Anastasia…' he takes the wine and gives a beautiful megawatt smile that can light up the whole Marina Beach Bay. I nod and walk away. I didn't realize that I am holding my breath until I reach my small kitchen. I am stationed at the upper deck business class today and Monica and I are looking after 18 passengers at the front part. Maybe I should just swap with one of the airhostess who is looking after the other part of the business class air hostess. I can avoid Christian.

'Monica…'

'Don't think of it Anastasia…'

'What?'

'You are not swapping with anyone… you are staying here.'

'How did you know…'

'I know!' she whispers hard.

'Don't you ignore that man. I read articles on him. He is one of the richest man in the States. And if he is after you… honey you hit the jackpot!'

'Monica! I am getting engaged to Karthi and marrying a rich man is not in my agenda!' I hiss to her.

'Anastasia! If I were you… I would..'

'You would have taken him to your bed by now. Not me… I am a woman with principles! I love Karthi and I want to marry him. Do you get that!'

'Then face Christian! Why are you running away!' she hisses back.

She has a point. Why should I run away from him? I know myself…

'If you trust yourself… then stay.' I nod. At that moment, Christian calls again. Darn!

'Yes Mr Grey?'

'Anastasia.. I need a blanket… can I have one?'

'Certainly sir.' And I fetch the blanket. The lights are off so no one could see me blushing.

'Mr Grey… your blanket.'

'Thank you Anastasia.' Our fingers brushed and there is the spark. It sent tinkle down my spine. And it hits me… I fell that I have gone through this before… but when? I walk away as quick as possible.

'Monica..'

'Yes..'

'Are you napping?'

'Yea… tired.. tired of shopping.'

'Yea… you were hours at Harrods.'

'Nite nite…'

I sit at my designated seat and rest my mind. But my mind refuses to rest. It is still flying back to Christian who is sitting 6 meters away from me. I start to think about what I should prepare for my engagement and stuff.

* * *

'Tasha…. Wake up… wake up' Monica taps my cheek.

'What…'

'Hey… you were knocked out for so long. I have two passengers waiting for breakfast. I can't handle it myself. I need your help.'

'Oh…' I rub my eyes and quickly straighten up. After smoothing my skirt, I take the tray that Monica has prepared. It is for Christian and another gentleman behind him.

'Good morning Anastasia… good sleep?'

'Good morning Mr Grey… yes.. And you?'

'Good sleep.. just that… ummm your smile was haunting my dream.' Huh… I stand staraight and said, 'Enjoy your breakfast sir.'

I move on to the next passenger behind him leaving him smirking.

'Monica… help me.'

'What dear? Everyone is served… what else?'

'I am not going to serve Christian Grey… could you please handle him.'

'What did he do?'

'He said I was haunting his dreams… I can't..'

'So what… you said you are determined… you don't care about him.'

I slump on my seat… 'Please.'

'Fine… I will see if I can lure him.'

'Do whatever.' I swapped Grey with another old man from Monica's list. Out of my list…

* * *

'Thank you for flying with Singapore airlines, Sir.'

'Welcome Anastasia… see you later.'

Huh? See you later…what the hell is that supposed to mean? He walks away smiling.

'Come on… lets pack and leave…' Monica says.

'Were you successful in luring Christian?'

'Nohhhh… he is such an arse… he just brushed me off… I tried talking to him but that man… argh.. but since he is nice to you.. I think…'

'I don't care what you think.' I walk away.

* * *

'Hey Karthi… I am back.'

'Hi… I am in a discussion… I guess it will go on till late night. I will call you tomorrow morning.' Click.

Huh.. that's it? No good bye… no miss you.. nothing? After two days… Sad.

I start unpacking and after putting away my luggage, I took a nice long bath. After putting on my new night gown I got from Harrods, I sit in my living room enjoying the smooth silk. Draping my body and I want Karthi by my side. How his hand would feel on me… I close my eyes and start imagining him touching and my door bell decided to ring at that moment. Should be my busybody neighbor who asked for the perfume. Can't she wait till tomorrow morning? I put on my matching robe for the night gown and open the door. To my shock, Christian stands there smiling away wearing a white shirt and black pants with a bottle of wine.

'Hi Anastasia… we meet again.'

My hands automatically pulled the robe tighter and pull the collar closer to close my exposed chest.

'Mmmr..' I stammer and he stops me by inviting himself in.

'Don't stammer Anastasia… why are you nervous around me?' he asks while walking into the apartment.

'Mr Grey… how the devil did you find my house?'

'I am a man of all means Anastasia… I will find what I want.' That sent a chill down my spine.

'It is not nice to have a man in my house at this hour.'

'The night is young Anastasia… '

'The night is very late… please leave.'

'Are you throwing me out?'

'Yes!' I cross my arm across my stomach.

'That is a first Ms Steele… but I am here to know you better… I will go after I get what I want.'

'And what do you want.'

Christian has made his way back and standing inches in front of me.

'You'

'Me?' I whisper back…

'Yes you…. You have been disturbing my sleep since the day I saw you.'

'What .. I did not.'

He raises his finger to my chin and stroke it lightly and said, 'Yes you did Anastasia…'

Gulp. I pushed him away and walk to my kitchen island. This is not right. I pinch my nose bridge and my phone decided to ring. I turn to Christian and said, 'Go away.' And grab my phone. I walk to the balcony sliding door and answer it.

'Karthi… hi.'

'Hi… are you still awake?'

'Yes.. jetlag. Are you done with your work?'

'No.. I am working through night. We are having issues with one of the server. I am going to the other side of the island. I will call you when I am back.'

'Ch… Karthi… when you will be back?' thank god I didn't call him Christian and suddenly two strong arms circles my waist from back and Christian plants a wet kiss which caused knots in my stomach…

'Not sure.. call you when I am back. Good night.' Click. I turn and face Christian and his arms have not left my waist. I use both my palms to push him away but he is too strong for me and his chest is like rock.

'Don't fight honey. I just want to get to know you…. And trust me… you look hot in this night gown.'

'Christian… ' I usher him to the sofa and make him sit. I choose to sit in the single seater.

'Look… if you want to go after some woman… please choose someone else. I am not the girl for you. I have a boyfriend. I will be getting engaged to him soon. I don't even know you.'

'Anastasia… you don't know me… but I am here with you… companying you. Where is he?'

'Work.'

'Ana… you need to be loved.. not left like this.'

I just can't tolerate this. I let go a big sigh and say, 'Christian. Please… please leave me alone.' I stand up gesturing to the door. Christian gets up leaving the wine on the coffee table and walks two steps to me and leans down. One kiss and I am lost. Without me realizing, I returned the kiss and I had butterflies in my stomach. After breaking the kiss, Christian smiles at me and says, 'Anastasia… we will meet soon… ' he turns and leaves closing the door behind him. I slump on my chair. What have I done? Why did I let him in? Why did I KISS him! Oh no… I am not being faithful to Christian… what the hell.. Karthi.. Karthi.. I am not being faithful to Karthi… how can I mix their names up.


	7. Chapter 7 - Fighting Within

**_Kelsey - You will get what you want in next chapters... Keep reading. Thank you for following._**

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**_Guest _****_2/13/13 . chapter 3_**

The names are weird. The fact she's Asian is weird. This story is just weird. I'd thought I'd give it a shot but I can't it's just dumb. Sorry. - **_ Thank you for reading up to chapter 3._**

* * *

It is five in the morning and I just can't think of anything…. Every time I try to close my eyes, Christian pops up. I still feel his wet lips on my neck… his strong arms circling my waist… I never had such feeling while being with Karthi… Karthi never made me feel special, feel loved, cared for. His touch sends chill down my spine, makes my stomach flip.

Karthi has never appeared at my doorstep middle of the night with a wine. Never called me dear, never made me squirm on my seat… he never made me feel special. Having to think of Christian, I feel special, he makes me feel special. I can't continue thinking about Christian… I must get on with my life. I repeat the mantra in my head that I can't think of Christian and get on with my life.

I am still wide awake ant it is 8. I decided to call Monica to see if she is free for a simple outing.

'Halooo' says a groggy voice.

'Monica!'

'Huh… Tasha? What do you want? It is early morning.'

'Hey… it is 8… are you still sleeping.'

'Yeah.. I am tired.'

'Hey..come lets go to Bugis Street.'

'What do you want to buy there?'

'Are you following or not?' I asked her sterner.

'Fine fine.. Give me two hours. '

'TWO HOURS?!'

'Yeah… I need to get ready…'

'I will be waiting for you at your apartment reception in one and half-hour' time. You make sure you come down by 9.30.'

'Whatever. Bye!'

* * *

Strolling through Bugis Street for three hours made my foot and eyes ache. Monica has been rambling about her new encounter with one of the lawyer in one of the most successful practice in Singapore.

'I think I am in love,' she says… and trust me, I have heard this a million time. She will meet a successful guy, date date and date, says 'I love you' and finally she will find him not compatible to her and voila… a break up. Every breakup, she will come running to my apartment with a tub of Haagan Dazs icecream and cry her heart out and trashes herself watching. Oh dear… I hope that I don't need to go through it again.

'He is so sweet you know. He has an elder brother and sister. He is the youngest and he is not close to his mother… so I won't be having mother in law problem.'

'Monica… I am glad you found someone… but aren't you thinking way ahead about your mother inlaw?'

'I want to marry him.'

'How long have you know him?'

'Two days.'

'Where did you see him?'

'Airport… when we returned from Heathrow.'

'WHAT?!' I said.. kind of loud..

'Yeah… lt is love at first sight.' She is grinning and hugging herself.

Gosh… she has got it bad…

'How about your Christian. Is he out of your life?'

'No… he turned up at my door step last night with a bottle of wine'

'WHAT! Why does he want to do that?!'

'I don't know. '

'Tell me what happen… don't leave out any point… any minute… tell me what happen every second when he was there.'

'Hmmmm I unpacked and you remember the black nightdress I bought at Harrods?'

'Yea… the sexy one that you wanted to wear last night and spend time with Karthi.'

'Yes… I wore it and Karthi was caught up with work! He went to the other side of the island and I was so irritated and frustrated. I was watching tv and my doorbell rang. I thought it was my nosy neighbor who asked for the perfume. I opened the door and Christian was standing there with a bottle of wine.'

'You called him in?'

'No… he came in by himself… I was caught off guard.. I didn't know what to do.'

'Did he kiss you?' she asks excited.

I nod and she starts clapping.

'Don't make me slap you Monica!'

'Hey… I just asked… you did have a swollen lips when you came back from your breakfast date with him. I assumed you guys have exchanged some passionate kiss … that is why I asked.'

'Yes…' I confess.

'He kissed me in the elevator after the breakfast.'

'Where did he kissed you last night?'

'Neck. While talking to Karthi. And I almost called Karthi Christian.' Monica who was sipping her coffee spit out the last sip.

'You what? How can you mix them up.'

'I don't know…'

'Tasha… I think you better think again about your engagement. You are confused between the two men.'

'No Monica… I am not confused. I know I want to marry Karthi.'

'Then how could you almost call Karthi, Christian?'

_She has a point Anastasia. You almost called your boyfriend Christian. You enjoy Christian's presence… you don't feel the love with Karthi._ Great now I have someone talking to me from inside.

'It is just my mind playing tricks… anyone would have made such mistake. While speaking to me… if you meet another friend of yours, you might call her with my name… it happens.'

'Not with who I love Tasha… I never mix men's name.'

Now I am even more confused … worst then this morning.

'Thank you Monica… for confusing me.'

'No Tasha… I am just showing you the picture… you know I go in and out of relationship… I know men. Do you want to know what I think about your love life?'

I have confided to Monica practically about everything about me and Karthi.

'Tell me your verdict.'

'Ok girlfriend, listen.' She says leaning nearer to me.

'Tasha… you have known Karthi for half of your life. You met him when you were 9 and he was 11. You guys fell in love when you were in Secondary 1 . He was in Secondary 3 and you guys have been seeing each other since then. He is a typical indian man, brought up by his Indian mother… who follows tradition. It has been a very traditional relationship. I think the most he has touched you is your hand… when you guys cross a busy road. He never kissed you or make you feel butterflies in your little stomach.'

I nod in agreement. What Monica is saying is very true. She continues.

'But after meeting Christian, you know what is real kiss is, how it feels to be hugged, held hand.. and what butterflies does to your little tummy. You even admitted that you are attracted to Christian.'

'Yes… but '

'No buts… try to go out with Christian.'

'Hey… I am only attracted.. I never say I love him …'

'You can say it now… he just walked in.' Monica says pointing her chin towards the entrance. I turn around to look at the direction she pointed and Christian is walking in… handsome as usual wearing a white shirt with a navy blue suit with two more men dresses similar but doesn't look yummy as him.

'Oh my god…' I whisper and Christian haven't see me yet. I can make a quick escape before he cat… ops. At that very moment he turns and looks straight at me. His face fills with a happy grin. He nods and turns to the other gentlemen and whispers something.

'He saw me…' I told Monica.

'Yes.. and he is walking towards you right now.' Monica says still looking at him. Her eyes is fixed at him.

'Hi Anastasia… it is wonderful to see you here. Hello miss…' he says acknowledging Monica.

'Hello Mr Grey… Join us for coffee?'

'I would love to but I am with some business associate.'

'Oh… what a shame.'

'Monica… stop it. It is ok Mr Grey… we are leaving already. Good bye.'

I take my purse and stand, glaring at Monica whose eyes are still fixated at Christian.'

'Very well… Good bye Mr Grey… see you around.'

'See you around Monica… see you _soon_ Anastasia.' And I clearly heard an underlying meaning in his soon. Damn that man. I left with Monica walking towards the bus stop.

'Hey… why did you act so coldly towards him.'

'You told me to make up my mind. I made up my mind. I am in a relationship with Karthi and I am not going to entertain Christian.'

'And when did you do that?'

'When I saw him walking into just now.'

'Tasha… I think he is really into you..'

'What do you mean?'

'The way he looked at you… the way he called your name… he used your full name, if you didn't notice. I wouldn't be surprised if he appears at your doorstep again.'

'No.. I don't think he is so free to appear again…' and she happily cuts off, 'He will! Wanna bet?'

'Fine… what do you want?'

'Ummmm How about that Instax camera that I saw just now?'

'That is 150 Sing!'

'Bet?'

'Fine…'

'Confident little girl… there is the bus. Come on.'

* * *

'Karthi… are you still busy?'

'Hey… yeah… it is so… argh.. you don't want to hear me swearing. Anyway… how is things. I promise I will take you out after I sort this out.'

'I just miss you… I haven't seen you for days.'

'I know… I should be back late evening. I will come over tonight.'

'Wonderful… I will..'

'I got to go.' Click. There he goes again without a good bye… but it is nice to know he will be coming tonight. I decided to cook something for him. His favorite Chicken Masala with chapatti and vegetable kurma. After cooking, I have my shower and decided throw my white suit with pink pants. After setting the table, I put on a nice soft music to fill the house. The door bell rings and I skip to the door and open it with a bright smile…

'Hi..' pause.. and 'Oh..'

* * *

What do you think? Should Ana continue with Karthi?


	8. Chapter 8 - The Makeout

_**princessrolon, **_**_Wolfpack9610, _**_**Guest **__**2/21/13 . chapter 7, heyheyheyheyheyhey Cynthia74, pookiebear3, Pielietje, Joep2007, greyfan 79, - Glad you guys love it... thank you so much ...**_

_**Kelsey - Yes.. it's him.**_

_**aarica1 - Sorry.. not as dramatic as you expected... but it will be later.. Thanks**_

_**pavie - Special thanks!**_

* * *

'Hi Anastasia…'

'Ch…' my phone rings…gulp… I bet its Karthi… I have a special ringtone for him. I turn around to grab my phone and as usual, Christian invites himself and closes the door behind him.

'Karthi…'

'Hey… I am sorry, I have to drive down to JB … There is problem with the data transmission and our transmitter… anyway.. I am eliminating the technical terminology. I am driving to JB and most likely will be back only tomorrow morning. Sorry honey…'

'You are not coming for dinner?' Am I upset or glad… with Christian around.

'No..Why not you go out with Monica… I will see you tomorrow ..'

'Okay… bye.'

'Bye.' Click.

I am glad Karthi is not here while Christian is in my house… but what is Christian doing here?

'What do you want?' I turn to Christian and ask sternly.

'Where is that wonderful boyfriend of yours? I wanted to see him.'

'What! You are impossible! Christian… I didn't ask you to come in… '

'You left the door open before answering the phone… I assumed you are fine with me being here..'

Gulp… yes.. I did. I didn't slam the damn door to his face. Why did I allow myself to make such mistakes.

'Anastasia… you look lovely..'

'Thank you Christian.. again.. What are you doing here?' and I notice my voice has dropped few decibels and there is no sternness… I like him yes, but having him here? Ohh I fell so being unfaithful.

Christian walks to the kitchen island and takes out two wine glasses and fill it with a chilled wine that he just brought with him. After filling the glass, he carries it to me and hands me one. Obligingly I take it, and he takes my hand and leads me to the living. I sit facing him.

'Are you expecting anyone Anastasia?'

'Yes Christian, I was expecting my boyfriend… who is going to be my fiancée.' I hope I sound irritated but the idiot in front of me is chuckling.

'You were… are you now?' his voice is smooth… and sexy.

'No.. he just called… he has something up… he has to leave the island… I just hate it. His work is taking too much of his time…'

I start pouring… I just need to pour and Christian is there listening. I wipe away a single tear and look straight to Christian's eyes.

'Anastasia… we must talk… I need to talk to you. Please don't shut me off.'

'What is there to talk Christian? We met on the flight, we bump for dinner..or I rather say… you bump into me, took me for breakfast… that's it.. I am still puzzled how you found my phone number, my house address, the flight I am in… I am amazed.. and afraid.' I say what I really feel. While I am speaking, Christian simply sat and sipped his wine calmly.

'Anastasia… firstly, I acknowledge the summary that you just gave… that is right, we met in the flight, we bump for dinner, I asked you for breakfast… but you missed a detail there… we had a wonderful kiss. I hope you have not forgotten that, it was a passionate one… I remember it well… I still dream of it. I called you.. but you also were shocked when I appeared in front of you on that flight, but I am ignoring the fact that you swapped your duty with Monica from serving me… fine still… you did push me away last night but not as hard as a woman who is not happy to see a man whom she doesn't like. I bet you did think of that kiss that I planted on your neck last night.'

'Christian.. stop… that is a more accurate summary. But listen… yes.. I admit I am attracted to you… but here… underline the attracted. I am only attracted. There is nothing more. Yes I liked the kiss you planted on my neck … yes I enjoyed the kiss in the lift. But that's it. Nothing more. There is nothing more between us. I can't have you here in my apartment. People will talk. If Karthi sees you here… that is going to be another soap opera, it will be embarrassing. So please stop popping up like a warlock at my door step.'

Christian laughs his heart out…

'Anastasia… Can I see you for lunch tomorrow? We need to talk… I need to talk to you.'

'What is there to talk? '

'See you tomorrow…'

'Christian.. listen. I can't. I won't come… I have a life here. I don't want to mess it up. Please leave me alone.'

'Anastasia… mark my words… you will find me.. you will want me…' and with that, he launches himself to me, pinning me on the couch. His hand traveled from my hair to my neck down my breast and side of my body and encircling my waist. Meanwhile, his lips have traveled from my lips to the corner of my lips, then to my eyes, to my cheek and finally my neck and a little bite. To my surprise, I am enjoying each and every moment. I like his touch. I never felt like this. I never felt, wet! I bet I am dripping… without realizing, my hand has moved from my sides to Christian's to his biceps, to his hair. His lips has meanwhile, travelled down to my bosom and he lightly bite it. Ohhh… that feeling.

'Anastasia… do you feel loved?'

'Yes..' I whisper..

He plants another wet moist kiss on my neck and traveled up to my lips. We exchanged a passionate kiss and I am lost in it. Christian broke the kiss and sit up.

'Anastasia.. again.. You need to be loved… not left like this.'

I straighten up and wipe my lips… how could I enjoy another man's touch? My eyes start tearing. I feel I have betrayed Karthi but at the same time, I felt something that I have never felt being with Karthi.

'Why are you crying?' his long fingers tucks my tendrils that escaped my ears during the passionate exchange.

'Christian… I can't do this. Please. Leave. Me. Alone.'

'You enjoyed my touch…'

'Yes.. and I am feeling extremely guilty. So.. for god sake… please.. I don't want to see you… ever!' I said with a hard voice… still crying. Christian reaches my cheek and wipes of the tears…

'You will call me Anastasia… I know… you will definitely will. See you honey.' And he kisses my forehead and leaves in a swift move. Oh my god… what have I done? I put my hands on my head and just sat there and cried my heart out. I don't know how long I have sat there.

My phone rings. I check and it is Monica… the last person that I want to speak but anyway, I still answer. Sniffing my nose, 'Yes Monica…'

'Tasha! Why are you crying?'

'Can I see you?'

'I am on my way. Give me 10 minutes.'

10 minutes later, my door bell rings but I am very sure it is still unlocked.

'It's not locked!' I yell. Monica opens the door, close it, locks it and dash to me.

'Tasha… what happen?'

'Karthi didn't turn up for dinner.'

'So… it is not the first time.' She saw the two wine glass and my messed up hair.

'Tasha… did Christian come over?' she asks, quietly… deathly quiet. I nod at her.

'What the hell did you DO!' she yells.


	9. Chapter 9 - The Reality

'Nothing…'

'Tasha… You had Christian here… you had wine… your hair is in a mess, your dress is crumpled, you are crying… and you say you didn't do anything? Are you kidding me?' Monica folds her arm across her chest and stares blankly at me. Yes she is right… who am I kidding… myself?

'We just…'

'You did it!?' Monica cuts me.

'No I didn't!'

'Then? Just make out? Did he touch you?' I nod…

'Oh Tasha… I don't know if I should feel happy for you or sad for you.'

'I am just confused…'

'Ok… lets eat first.'

'No.. I'

'Shut up… you can't think if you are hungry.'

Monica darts to my kitchen and fills two plates full of food that I have cooked, to enjoy delicious dinner with Karthi. She hands me a plate… I just can't eat .. I have to wash up… wash away Christian's touch.

'I will be back. I place the plate on the coffee table and stroll to my room. I strip off double quick time and enter my bath. I have a full length mirror in my bath. I examine myself … there is a tiny red mark on my left breast… Christian's bite mark. It is sore… but deliciously sore. I touch the red mark.. and Christian's face flashes across my mind. I step into the hot shower and I felt my whole body is burning… burning from Christian's touch… I want more… more of his touch… which I have never felt before…

'Anastasia.. again.. You need to be loved… not left like this.'

'You enjoyed my touch…'

Christian's words echoed my mind…. Yes.. I enjoyed his touch… I want to be loved.. but I want to be touched and loved by Karthi…

I squeeze my tea tree scrub on the sponge and leather it all over me.. my whole body is sensitive to my own touch.. this is very new to me. After washing off, I dry myself and wear my sweats and tshirt. I walk out to see Monica has made herself comfortable in the living and watching sitcom. She turn towards me when she hears my steps.

'Hey… come.. sit.' She says softly.

I sit and started eating mechanically… my mind is just numb. I can't think of anything except Christian. Monica is kind enough not to ask me any question. My phone starts singing the tune I have set for Karthi… It is a Tamil song - Translated

Dews on the heat  
Wavering mind  
Rain drops searching for flowers  
All these became her traits  
Eye brows are separate  
Sleep went for freeze  
Why do want hurdles now

which of the breeze makes the flowers blossom  
which of the angel moments would open the mind  
can feel little pain in the mind  
calmed by your glance  
get out of shell which is acting like a scar on moon

We used to meet in dreams - some times or many times  
We used to walk in twilight, dont u remember?  
Is the waves trying to break the shores?  
Would the light house guide the wavering minds?  
Your waves hit me and took me to shores in the dreams.

Darn….

'Helo?'

'Ana… I am at the immigration.. I will be crossing the border shortly.'

'Right… what time you will be back tomorrow?'

'Not sure… When are you flying out again?'

'Tomorrow after midnight. To..'

'Fine… I will see you after you are back if I can't make it by tomorrow night.'

'Ok… I…'

'Bye' click.

I toss the phone to my side… he didn't even bother to listen to what I want to say. He didn't even ask where I am flying to… He used to be very interested in what I do. He checks on me al lthe time… he wants to know what I am doing even if I am overseas… but lately… he has been ignoring me… saying busy with work. He used to be busy with work before this.. I let a huge sigh. Monica has been watching me quietly all this while and I know she wants to know what is happening. I quietly finished my dinner, did the dishes, pour another glass of wine for myself and one for Monica and sit at the living. The very seat that I spent intimately with Christian an hour ago. Even the seat smells Christian.

'Are you ready?' Monica asks.

'Yes…'

'Tell me.. what happened.'

I iterate everything that happened between me and Christian. I also included that Karthi ditched me for dinner and going to Johor. Monica listened quietly and after I finished she just nod quietly.

'Tasha… I am not sure if this is what you want to hear… but from what I have seen and just heard, I think you should reconsider your decision… about you getting engaged to Karthi.'

'I love Karthi, Monica… I love him with all my heart… it is just that he is not making me feel wanted… I get that feeling with Christian but I feel like I am cheating Karthi… betraying his trust.. his love.'

'Yes.. I understand what you are saying here… but now you are torn between this two man and from what I can see, you prefer Chrsitian's company then Karthi.'

'THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!' I shout

'That is true… if you don't like having Christian around, then why you did not slam the door to his face? Why did you start pouring to him? Why did you even let him touch you?'

I start absorbing Monica's words. She continues, 'I have known you for over three years… and I know you never ever got attracted to any man… no one.. nada… but with Christian… you did admit you are attracted… you should think again.'

'Monica.. you are not helping.'

'Tasha… you can't expect me to say something that you want to hear… I can only say something that I can see… I can say what you want to hear… Forget Christian… marry Karthi… live your life Christian free… but that is not going to help.'

I nod… Monica has a point… I am trying to get her to say something my rational mind wants to hear… not my heart … my heart wants to hear – Take Christian… go with him… spend time with him.. Darn my heart … I gulp down my wine faster then I intend to and place the glass on the coffee table. I rest my head against the headrest closing my eyes and sit cross-legged.

'Tasha… you have been sitting for the last half an hour… nothing is going to change…' Monica stops as my phone rings.

'Hello' I said blankly without even checking who is calling.

'Anastasia…'

'Christian?'

'How are you?'

'Not fine…'

'Why?'

'You… you have confused me.. I don't like such feeling… Will you do me a favour?'

'What Anastasia…'

'Please don't try to call me… or see me… ever again.'

'Anastasia…'

'Christian… look.. Thank you for showing me how good it is to be loved and touched… but I can't continue with this. I can't betray Karthi.'

'Fine… but Anastasia…'

'What'

'You will find me.. you will want me.' His voice was smooth as velvet and it is also seductive. I just have to control myself.

'If I want you… I will find you. Now.. Please.. Don't call me.'

'Fine Anastasia.. Take care.. I will see you soon. But it will be you coming to me. Good bye baby.'

I end the call. I look at Monica.

'Is that what you want?'

'Yes… I want my life with Karthi. It is a peaceful life which I have been waiting for and I won't loose it for some guy who randomly appeared out of thin air and confuse me.'

'Ok… Tasha.. this is your decision. But honey… when you said you can't continue seeing Christian.. or don't want to see him again, even I was not convinced. Your voice was not convicing. I bet he would have said that you will come to him.. soon.'

Huh.. How the hell? 'Yes..'

'Dear Tasha… listen… your voice was not convincing, that alone is enough to make him think that you would go to him… and I can say.. It is soon.'

'What ever…' and my phone rings again. I bet it is Christian again. I am not going to answer the damn phone.

'Aren't you going to answer?'

'No…'

Monica sighs and picks up.

'Helo..'


	10. Chapter 10 - Sisterly Talk

_**Thank you for all the great PMs and Reviews. I appreciate each and every one of it.**_

* * *

'Helo..'

'Yes she is here…'

Who is she talking to?

'I am fine Aunty… thanks! One moment.' Your mother, she mouths.

'Helo? Ma…'

'Annie..'

'How are you?'

'I am good.. what is wrong?'

'What do you mean what is wrong?'

'Your voice honey… you sound very upset… '

'No ma… I am fine… it's just that we were watching some sad movie…'

'Oh… okay… anyway… I have got the dates.. we will be coming down next week Friday and will be there for two weeks.'

'Great… I will apply leave..'

'For two weeks? No honey… don't. After meeting Karthi's parents, we want to go to Thailand.'

'Oh…'

'Yah… so let me know when they can meet us so we could plan the trip to Thailand.'

'Since you are arriving on Friday… let's fix it to Saturday night.'

'Ok.. then will fly to Thailand on Monday or Tuesday. Depending on flight availability.'

'Fine… '

'Okay… take care darling.'

There… even my own family doesn't care … not even a single word asking me to follow them to Thailand.

'What?'

'My parents are coming here… to meet Karthi's parents.'

'For?'

'Discussion about our engagement.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes…' I think I sound confident.

'Fine… Ok.. I think I better get going…'

'What? At this hour? Stay here… go tomorrow.'

'Thanks… I was hoping you will ask me to stay.'

I throw a baby pillow to her…

* * *

'Welcome… nice to see you after a long time,' Karthi's parents kisses my forehead and greets my parents. We then walked into the Marina Bay Hotel.

Karthi and I arranged our family to meet at Marina Bay hotel for dinner to discuss the engagement plan and both family seem to be happy. Karthi's parents announced my indian name during the dinner which thrilled my mother.

'We chose an Indian name for Anastasia after consulting our astrologer. We would like to take her to the temple and name her officially if you don't mind.' Karthi's mother announces. My mother was thrilled.

'Oh… that is wonderful… at least one of my daughters have an Indian name. My mother had an Indian name but after I got married… it just vanished.' I can't help but roll my eyes. My mother has never forgotten her roots but after marrying my dad, she just started to neglect it… nevertheless she did thought us the necessary things such as how to pray, meditate, respecting elders, believes and such.

'Really… that is interesting.'

'What name have you choose for her?' my dad asked.

'Sahana….' Karthi's dad announces with pride.

Hmmm Sahana… at lease the Ana in my name is still there. Karthi's favorite aunty was there to. She filled us with the details on the name.

'We wanted a name which has her current name in it, sounds modern but still traditional and has a beautiful meaning. We consulted the astrologer and her name should start with sa, si or su. Karthi did some research and he came up with this name. We liked it to.'

'I see… how you know what alphabet her name should start with?' my dad asked.

'Oh.. simple.. It is based on your birth time and date. It is something to do with the planets and moon position. It is complicated.' I can't help to thing if she thinks that we are dumb and don't how it works! But anyway… I am just enjoying a quiet meal and soft chat with my sister.

'Annie… you look sad… why?' my sister asks quietly.

'Can we go out tomorrow? Just the two of us. I have to talk to you about something.'

'Sure…' and before she can continue, Karthi nudges me.

'The meaning for your name is patience or raaga.'

'What does raaga means?' my dad asks. He seems to be really into the conversation that is taking place.

'Rhythm… musical rhythm. It is a beautiful rhythm.. one of my favorite.'

'A beautiful name for a beautiful girl…' Karthi's father chimes.

After a wonderful dinner, a date for the engagement is fixed and I will be following them to India to buy sari. After saying goodbye, I went to my parents' hotel room to spend some time with them.

Since Karthi returned from Johor and took me out for lunch… and we have spent some time together since then. He hold my hand … even kissed me on my check but I don't feel any tingling effect like how it is with Christian. I have to talk to my sister but what is she going to think of me?

* * *

'Tell me… what is wrong Annie…'

'How can you say something is wrong with me?' We are both enjoying the fish spa after going through the body massage.

'is it that obvious Ven?' I chuckle.

'Annie… you are good at hiding your feelings… I am your sister… I know how you behave when you have problem. I spend the most time with you.. compared to mom.'

'I know… and you are right.. I have a small issue.'

'Spill baby..'

'I met a guy during a flight.'

'Annie.. sorry but this is the first time you spoke about a man… apart to Karthi.'

'Yes.. Do you want to listen or what?'

'Yes yes… so who is this man?'

'His name is Christian.. Christian Grey. He has a successful business in Seattle.. kind of rich.'

'Annie.. I know money is immaterial to you. Spill girl.'

'Hmmm He appeared at my doorstep. Twice.'

'No you didn't;

'Of course I didn't… '

'Did he kiss you?'

'Yes…'

'How was it?! Ow your first kiss… and I was not here to share.'

'Shut up Ven…'

'Tell me..'

'Ven.. I am not going to discuss Christian.. I want to discuss me.'

'Fine.. tell me…'

'Venn.. I feel I have betrayed Karthi.'

'And how is that?'

'What do you mean by how is that… I kissed another man while being with..'

'Oh.. Annie… let it go… it is not betraying… Look… Let me talk some sense into your head. Do you think I am still mom's sweet little angel?'

Huh? Venn.. what the heck is she talking?

'Ven.. you never dated… even when so many guys were after you..'

'So you guys think… I have boyfriend… who I spend weekends with.'

'Huh! Meaning..' My eyes is about to pop out from my eye socket Vennessa is mom's sweet little girl… virgin sweet little girl… bookworm… always studying, no boyfriends, ambitious and now she is confessing to me she is spending weekends with her boyfriend… whom she never spoke about. Ven nods.

'Yes… I have a boyfriend.. and I spend.. really good time with him… if you understand what I am trying to say.'

'You sleep with him?!'

'Yes…'

'Ven!'

'Ann.. listen… I am not like to… fall in love at young age… stick with him and get married to him.. I can't. You know me… I need to be in control… and men never let you be in control. They will try to hold you back… control you.. dominate you. Why do you think I decide to stay single..'

'How long are you going to be single Ven? Don't you need a man with you when you grow older.'

'Ohhh Ann… come out from your shell… you are so soaked into the Asian culture… things are not the same anymore! You fly all over the world.. you meet people… and you are so .. argh.. girl this is the 21st century!'

'Ven… you know I am not like that… you are gorgeous… pretty. Men swarm at your feet… Karthi was the only guy showed interest in me.'

'Ann… I know how many guys were after you in school… you are the one who ignored them! All those spiritual books… religious books that you read… made you .. soo.. argh.. I wish I can find a right word to describe you.'

'Venn… I got interested in it… but..'

'Stop your but.. so tell me… you kissed him.. anything else?'

'Ermmmm actually… he kissed me twice…'

'Jolly good! ' she start clapping.

'Vennn'

'Fine Fine.. continue.'

'When we first met, he bumps into me for dinner and we met for breakfast. He kissed me in the lift..'

'How was it…'

'Nice' I smile to myself…

'Then?'

'When he turned up at my doorstep the second time..'

'How was that?'

'More passionate… he … ummmm … touched me.'

'What! That is good.. did you guys do anything beyond kiss?'

'No.. Venn… not me..'

'Annie.. listen…. Honestly, I feel something is not right with Karthi.'

'What od you mean?'

'Come on… I have seen how you guys actually interact… and personally.. I think you guys are more like a friends rather than couple. Couples holds hand, kiss each other, misses others dearly and be crazy of each other!'

'Hmm…'

'You are in a comfort relationship.. not a real love love relationship. You better think again before you commit.'

After talking to Venn… I am even more confused but she did make some sense and whatever that she said is true. It is a comfort relationship. I don't feel the love but it is too late to turn back now.

* * *

_**Reviews please... any suggestions welcomed. **_


	11. Chapter 11- From Engagement to Wedding

Dear faithful readers, followers and reviewers... thank you so much for your support.

* * *

'So… did Christian try to call you?' Monica asks while we were flying to New York. At the back of my mind, I am hoping to bump into Christian. He has not contacted me after I told him to leave me alone.

'No… after I told him off the other day, he has not attempted to call me. Maybe he has got over it.'

'I doubt it honey…. How is Karthi?'

'He is fine… he has not gone out of island lately…. We are flying to Chennai the night we arrive to Singapore, day after tomorrow.'

'When are you coming back?'

'Three days later... after buying some decorative stuff for the house that we are going to live after the wedding.'

'Good luck in finding the sari that you want…' Monica rolls her eyes.

'Thanks!'

After spending a day at New York, we head back to Singapore. Karthi is waiting for me at the airport when I arrive.

'Ana… how are you?' he hugs me lightly and kisses my forehead.

'Tired… New York is heaven to shop… I checked out few places where we can get some stuff for our house… We should visit..'

I fill him in with the activities that I was doing while walking to the car.

'Do you want to go there for our honeymoon?' Karthi asks.

'Nah… it is too … ummm busy. Maybe somewhere more quiet?' We got into the car and we started driving to my apartment.

'How about Bali?'

'The hindu island in Indonesia?'

'Yes… I heard it is heaven… you like volcanoes… there are few volcanoes that we can visit.. there are also some plantations, and there are few temples that we could visit.'

'Isn't there a temple at the sea side which floods when it is high tide..'

'Yes yes…'

'Good idea.. ' I agree with Karthi but he also had other plans.

'After Bali, I thought of going to Thailand and spend some time at Phuket. But only if you are fine with it.'

'I am fine… it would be nice to catch some sun.'

'What is the point Ana? You skin is always milky white… even here under the hot sun.'

'Hey… it's not my fault.' I hit Kathi at his arm and he laughs.

Karthi has changed a lot after he came back from JB. He became more attentive, he calls me often, checks on me now and then, and holds my hands more frequently. _But you don't get the shiver and excitement like how you get it when Christian touches you._ Shut up…. I don't need that…

'I pick you up in another hour? Our flight is at 1.35am.'

'We have to be in the airport latest by 10.30 pm… should be fine.'

'See you..' and he kisses me on my check before driving off. I pack a back for three days and take a nice hot shower. I still fantasize Christian's touch when I am in a hot shower but that is it… I feel very contented with Karthi. I am ready when Karthi calls me.

'I am turning to your road.'

'I will be right out.'

I lock my door and walk down. Karthi arrives as I reach the last step. He opens the trunk and waits for me. He is dressed in jeans, white t and a checked shirt. He looks as handsome as ever. He makes my heart grow and swell with love.

'Ready?'

'Yes…' He places my suitcase in the trunk and we drive off to the airport.

'Are you leaving your car in the airport?'

'No.. the driver will be taking it back to the house. He will pick us up when we arrive. Come on…' Karthi stops at the entrance and unloads and his driver appears from nowhere.

'Everyone here?'

'Yes sir..'

'Thanks' and we walk hand in hand into the airport. I glance around and spotted his family, his mother, father and sister.

'There they are…' his sister shouts pointing at us. She baby runs towards me and hugs.

'You must spend a fortune of my brother's money. He is earning and not spending and now… you must make him pay a big sum for the saris…' I could only smile at her enthusiasm. I love her for being so hyper.

'Come honey… let's check in. Come Ana,' Karthi's mother stops Varsha's rambling and heads the way to the immigration check in. Something tells me she is the queen control. Thankfully, they allowed me to sit with Karthi during the three hour flight.

'When we reach Chennai, we will check in and rest. Tomorrow morning, we will visit two temples in the morning and drive down to Kanchipuram. Our appointment is at 3 in the afternoon. We have six hours before they close. Is that enough?'

'Karthi.. really.. it is more than enough. You think I am going to take hours to choose?'

'The selection is more than what you can find in Singapore..' Karthi takes my hand and lets a big sigh.

'I want you to be happy.'

But I don't feel happy… he is holding my hand but I don't feel anything… it is like how Monica holds my hand but I am with Karthi… that gives some happiness.

XXXX

'What do I choose?' I am sitting with a mountain of saree and I can't make my mind on which to choose. Varsha has choose hers, Karthi's mother is still deciding between two. Karthi's father got fed up and took the driver and went to some place nearby.

'Take your time… we still have two hours.'

'These are all very expensive… can we look at something cheaper?'

'Hey… don't worry. I want the best for you.'

Half an hour later… I made up my mind. I chose a golden orangie embroided saree with white stones as the engagement saree and a heavily embroided with gold thread maroon saree as the wedding saree. Karthi was happy with my selection.

'A very good choice… but what happen to blue color?'

'I don't know.. I felt this looks nicer.. unique.'

'As long as you like it.'

Karthi's mother too chose hers and after paying, we got back to the hotel after dinner. I am sharing room with Karthi's sister. She is excited about the whole thing and using this opportunity to plan out the engagement and the wedding which is a month apart.

* * *

'Bye Ana… we will let you know when we will be taking you to temple for the naming ceremony.'

'Sure aunty… I will be flying to Heathrow tomorrow night and back two days later.'

'No problem honey… bye.' Karthi's mother kisses my forehead before leaving me at my doorstep after returning from the shopping spree. I walk into the apartment and drop my bags and dialed Monica. I need a break from all this and Monica is the right person.

'Hey.. you are back from your shopping trip?'

'Yes… can I see you?'

'Tomorrow?'

'No… tonight.'

'What? Tasha.. you never go out at night…'

'I need a break… please…'

'Fine… meet me at your doorstep in 10 minutes.'

'Right.'

Now… I dial Karthi and he answers in the second ring.

'Tasha? I just dropped you.'

'Yea… I thought of going out for a drink with Monica.'

'My sister did that to you right?' he laughs.

'Yes… '

'Go on.. be good.'

'Hey.. I am always good.'

'Yes.. my little angel. I will see you tomorrow before you leave to London.'

'Right… bye Karthi…'

'Bye Ana..'

I rush to the bathroom and quickly brush my teeth and freshen up. I change into my favourite black jeans with a peach orange blouse with my pep toe black shoe and a purse. 10 minutes and I am out of the door. Monica was waiting for me when I arrive at the walkway.

'Yes dearie.. where do you want to go?'

'Marina Bay? They have good wine. I checked on the internet.'

'Yes they do. Let's go Tasha.'

* * *

'So how was shopping?' Monica asks sipping her cocktail. I am drinking coke… I was never a drinker and Monica got tired trying to convince me.

'Tiring… I couldn't make up my mind. And his sister was so excited about the whole thing. She planned the whole event… engagement and wedding over the three days.'

'How did she manage to spend so much time with you?'

'I was sharing room with her.'

Monica spits her last sip.

'You what?!'

'Yes…'

'Where on earth was Karthi?'

'He shared room with his parents and I was stuck with his sister. She is such a loquacious! My ears started bleeding!'

'Hahahahaha… you don't talk and your sister in law talks! Poor soul. What color is your saree…'

'Gold and another one is maroon.'

'You don't look enthusiastic about it.'

'Monica… I might sound crazy… but…'

'What?' she looks at me.

'I can't stop thinking of Christian.'

'What… are you having second thoughts?'

'No… I was happy with Karthi… He was attentive… caring… loving… but I don't feel loved.'

'Meaning you did not spend any minute with Karthi?'

'We did… we had a stroll along the Marina beach.. but there were no holding hands… or kissing or hugging.'

'And you miss those moments with Christian?'

'Yea… because he did touch me… Karthi .. has never. I don't know how it feels.'

'Tasha.. are you sure you want to go ahead?'

'I can't turn back now… the engagement is only a month away.'

Monica nods in agreement.

* * *

It is already three hours in Harrods and Monica is not done yet. She is looking for the black night dress that I bought on my last trip but she can't find something like that. I decided to splurge on some nice sexy lingerie and night dress… hoping it will actually make Karthi wants me. Spending hours makes my leg ache.

'Moron! Do you know how my legs are aching?'

'You did pick up some nice sexy stuff… for your honeymoon eh?'

'Yes.'

We are getting ready to fly back to Singapore. Nothing much happens until the engagement. The engagement went smoothly and my naming ceremony was done a day before. It was in a temple where they announce my new name, Sahana three times and blessed me with flowers and yellow rice.

My parents were very happy with the engagement ceremony and Vennessa decided to stay with me until the wedding. She is having her semester break and my parents left three days after the engagement.

* * *

'Ann… you look happier then I saw you the last time.'

'Yes.. I am engaged!'

'Got over Christian?'

'Venn!'

'Answer me…'

'Yes… I have not thought of him until you just mentioned him.'

'Huh… good then.. you are on the right track. I did some research on that guy Christian. He seems to be a very private person. No interviews.. no girlfriends… no details. I could only find his business stuff on the net. I even checked his pictures. He doesn't have one single picture with another woman. I think he is gay…'

'What! Impossible… that kiss…'

'Ann… It is just my theory. Anyway honey.. lets enjoy your singlehood.. it is only one week more…'

* * *

The wedding went smoothly with both sides of the family attending a grand wedding followed by dinner. Varsha took the liberty to choose my dinner dress. It is pink wedding dress with pink sheer and chiffon. I am dead tired after the whole event. We flew to Bali after the dinner. After checking into the hotel….

* * *

_**I have updated the pictures of the wedding and engagement sari and also the dinner dress on my board. Please review.. any ideas are welcomed.**_


	12. Chapter 12 - Nights after Wedding

We flew out from Singapore at 2.30 after midnight. Karthi has booked a private jet for us to fly to Bali.

'I want to enjoy every minute and no rush, I booked a private jet so we don't need to rush to the airport and wait endlessly.'

'Sweet'

Karthi started dozing off during the two hours flight to Bali. I felt bored… this is not how married couples should spend their wedding night.

'Karthi! How can you sleep?'

'Ana.. aren't you tired? ' and he doses off… I throw my glance out the window and it is pitch dark. I don't understand why he rushed out of Singapore after the dinner. We should be spending the wedding night somewhere.. nicer… together.. on the bed! Not sitting opposite each other in this stupid jet and him snoring away! Umph…

'We are approaching the Ngurah Rai International Airport on the Bali Island. Please fasten your seatbelts. We will be landing shortly.' The pilot's voice echoes through the speaker. I shake Karthi's shoulder to wake him up.

'Karthi! Wake up… wake up.'

'Yeah…'

'We are approaching the airport… fasten your seatbelt.' Karthi sits and straighten up. After fastening the seat belt, Karthi looks straight to my eyes…'I hope you will enjoy Bali.'

'I think I will.'

* * *

It is five thirty in the morning and I don't see the point of going to bed. Karthi has throw himself to the bed and I quickly change into my swimsuit.

'I am going for a swim..'

'Okay… Wake me up for breakfast dear…'

'Yea yea…' Argh… frustrating man!

I walk to the swimming pool and no one is around. Everyone is sleeping soundly and I am wide awake.. The new bride.. Still wide awake.. Unable to sleep. I dive into the pool and started swimming. After an hour, I pull myself up and grab my robe. Walking around the pool, I felt someone is watching me. I look around and could find a soul… I walk back to the room and saw Karthi stirring on the bed.

'Karthi.. wake up… wake up.'

He rubs his eyes opening it slowly.

'It is morning already?'

'Karthi.. really… I am all lonely here and you are so busy sleeping!' I half yell.

'Sorry.. I just got tired running around preparing for the wedding and things… sorry honey.' I nod.. trying to understand what he is so tired of. He gets up and stretches and stalks to the bathroom. Grrrrr irritating new husband!

After I throw my blue top and a white and blue flowered skirt, I walk out to have breakfast. Again… he left me for breakfast while I am still at shower. Darn. Scanning through the café, I caught him having breakfast. How unromantic!

'You could have waited for me!' I say taking a seat opposite Karthi.

'No .. I know you women take hours to get ready. Come on… let's not fight.' He says and I excuse myself to the buffet to help myself with breakfast. I choose toast with eggs and baked beans. After getting some orange juice I walk back to our table.

'Today we are visiting….' Karthi starts when I start my breakfast. I am still to irritated to listen.

'The tradition…' I stop him. 'Karthi.. Surprise me… Don't tell me anything.'

'Anything… I want you to be happy.'

Ohh… How am I going to be happy.

'Let me just get some omlets.'

I start nibbling the food and again… the weird feeling… Someone is watching me. I look around cautiously but I can't see any familiar face.

'Are you done?'

'Yes… Let me go the ladies and we are good to go.'

'Right.. I will be waiting at the lobby.'

He walks away and I just can't help but feel irritated with him… but what is wrong with me… I am just married to him for one day and I feel irritated with him. After finishing with the ladies, I pick up my handbag and lock the door and walk to the lobby. Karthi was chatting away with a man and he look so yummy. _He has not touched you yet!_ It can wait! Gah…

We had a wonderful time sightseeing and I enjoyed every moment in the sun. I try to absorb as much of sun I could but my skin is always milky white… pale. After a tired day of walking, climbing, hiking… we reach the room late evening.

'Can we watch the sun set at Kuta Beach?' I ask hopingly to Karthi…

'Hye… Aren't you tired?'

'No… come!' I pull his hand and he followed obligingly. Twilight is one of my favorite moments. I love to watch sunrise and sunset especially at the sea side.

'You love the sea side?'

'Yes… don't you know?'

'No… you never told me.'

'What… have you forgotten how I use to get excited on my trips to Sentosa Island? How I love to sunbath? How I use to wake up early morning before anyone else just to watch the sunrise? I told you all those… ' I am pretty hurt that Karthi has forgotten.

My family use to spend our holidays at Sentosa Island and I wake up before anyone just to watch the sun rise. I told Karthi what I did every minute. Darn this man.

'Do you want to take bath first?' Karthi asks.

'No.. I want to soak in the bath with a book… do you want to join?'

Karthi smiles and picks up his towel…'I will be right out… you can have the bath all to yourself.'

Such an unromantic guy! I am inviting him to join me in the bath and he wants me to have it all alone… I rummage through my bag and pull out my black floor length negligee with a plunging neck and a black laced panty and hide it under my towel. Once he is out, I sneak it into the bath with my book and throw scented wash and soak in the tub for a good half an hour. After washing up, I dress in the night dress and walk out. Karthi was scanning the paper.

'Karthi… '

'Hmmmm' eyes still on paper.

'Karthi… look at me…'

'Hmmmm one minute dear.'

Gah… I walk up to him and stand beside him.

'Karthi!'

'Yes' and finally he looks up. 'Wow… Ana…'

'You like it?' I ask placing my palm on his shoulder…

'Definitely' and his arm circles my waist and instantly he pin me beneth him. Karthi kisses my forehead, eyes, nose, check, chin, neck and finally the corner of my lips…

'You look stunning.' His arms are still at my back. I wonder when he is going to undress me. Suddenly the phone rings and Karthi reaches to it.

'Karthi.. seriously.. must you take it…

'Sorry dear… the office.' And he walks away. Arghhhh this is really frustrating. I sit on the bed waiting for him and finally I doze off.

* * *

'What time did you got to bed?' I ask him when I wake up. I notice I am still fully dressed.

'Close to mid night and they didn't know how to up the server. I had to guide them on how to go about doing it.'

'This is our honeymoon and you are on the phone instead of me… '

'I will make it up to you tonight…' he kisses my nose and walks to the bath. This is just not right. It is two days after wedding and I am still a virgin… how could this be possible?


	13. Chapter 13 - The Bored New Wife

No new bride should be bored like me. Karthi got tired after our hiking trip and I decided to sit by the Kuta Beach with a drink.  
We went to Caldera Batur Hiking where we were picked up at wee hours… three in the morning. We started hiking at five and we reached the top at 6. It was just in time to watch the sunrise and it is so beautiful. It is so different then the sea side. It is amazing to see the sunrise from the clouds. We later had breakfast. I opted for Bali Coffee which is heaven and Karthi had Hot Ginger Tea. After having breakfast, we started exploring the crater of Mount Batur. I loved the fresh smell of water and greenery and it was good to see so much green after being stuck in the concrete jungle all my life. One and half hours later, we descend to Truyan Village and arrived at Yoga Bungkah. There is a natural hot spring pool. I loved to dip myself in it. After soaking in the hot pool, which is good for skin diseases, we changed and had lunch. Lunch was served while we overlooking a rice field. It is so beautiful and I have totally forgotten my irritation with Karthi who has not _touched me yet…_ My sister has dropped me an email which I plan to reply later. After getting back to the hotel, Karthi claims that he is too tired to do anything after the hiking. Five whole minutes later and he is snoring away. I change into a blue sarong and a pink tight top and started strolling along Kuta Beach alone. Finally I found a spot which I can sit to watch the sunset and I settled down with a bottle of coke. Came along two ladies who offered to do manicure and pedicure and I decided what the heck. After watching the sunset, I walk back to the hotel to find Karthi barking some instructions about Server in Australia. I grab my towel and walk into the shower without uttering a single word. After a nice cold shower, I wrap the fluffy towel around me and step out to see Karthi sitting with a towel… _maybe it is time._

'What happen?'

'Problem… ' Karthi gets up and walks towards me. He holds me around my waist.

'Ana… hmmm I don't know how to tell you this.'

'Why… What is wrong?' he has a sad look on his eyes.

'There is a problem at office. They are asking me to get back by tomorrow night.'

'Huh?' What the hell!

'I promise I will make it up to you… We can't go to Phuket as planned tonight.'

'It's ok.. ' I can't help the hurt in my voice and eyes. It has started to tear and Karthi wipes away the tear with his little finger and kisses my forehead.

'We will be leaving after dinner.'

* * *

'Sahana… when you have to fly again?' My mother in law asks. It has been two days since we rushed back from Bali. Karthi has gone to Australia yesterday and won't be back for the next three days and my mother in law obviously notices that I have nothing much to do rather than sit around and read books.

'Next week Sunday Aunty…' I reply but I can sense the sadness in my voice. She looks at me feeling sorry. Then an idea strikes me.

'Do you mind if I go back to work?'

'Can you?'

'Yes… I can cancel my leaves and take it later when Karthi is back from his assignment.' I fill her in. I can see her eyes sparkle.

'Do that dear… you seem to be very lonely and maybe going to work will help.'

'Oh.. I was actually afraid to ask you about going back to work.'

'Sahana.. don' t worry.. I can see a working woman like you can't stay at home… until a kid comes along.' She smiles… oh no.. Kid? I have not even lost my virginity and she is talking about kids.

'Oh.. I need to go to office to the necessary.'

'I will ask the driver to be on standby to take you to the airport.'

'Thanks… I am going to change.'

I walk up to my room… actually Karthi's room which I have moved in and pick my phone.

'Monica…'

'Hey.. what are you doing in Singapore? You are not supposed to be back until Sunday!'

'Long story. I am going to the office. Do you mind meeting me there for a quick drink?'

'Sure… See you there.'

I change into a black jeans and a white sleeveless top and make my way down. Karthi's grandmother is just walking to the dining for her lunch. She sees me and throws me a skeptical smile. Like holding her tongue back. Maybe my dressing? I couldn't be bothered at the moment. Karthi's mother walks out from the kitchen and she smiles after seeing me.

'Are you leaving already? Do you want some lunch?'

'No Aunty… I am having a quick drink with Monica after going to office… if that is ok with you…'

'Fine honey.. no problem. The driver will wait…'

'I can get a lift back from Monica.'

'You sure honey?'

'Yes.. I will inform the driver.'

'Very well then…'

I walk out and the driver is there waiting. I sit at the back seat and it is a 10 minutes' drive to the airport. I just can't keep my irritation. Monica is going to drill me like crazy about all the details.

* * *

'You are still a what!'

Monica half yells.

I nod… I have just filled in the details of the honeymoon and Monica is freaking out.

'Tasha… You put on your sexy nightgown and he didn't touch you! Did he kiss you?'

'Yes… face.. cheek.. eyes… neck…'

'What about lips?'

'It is still the sole property of Christian Grey' I reply absently. True enough, Christian is the only one who has kissed me on my lips… and a passionate one that made me wet!

'Anastasia! I think you should reconsider your relationship with Karthi! What kind of man that has such a beautiful sexy wife… half naked and didn't F*** her! I just don't understand.'

I have canceled my leaves and I am flying to New York tonight with Monica.

'Monica… I just don't want to think of anything. I want to go home now… get packed. I meet you at the airport at 8.'

'We have a lot of talking to do lady.'

'Yes…'

* * *

'When will you be back?'

'Day after tomorrow morning Aunty.'

'Fine dear. Karthi will be back too.'

'Yes.. I will be back.. I will be arriving half an hour before his flight.'

'Oh.. very well then. I will send the driver to pick you both. Have you told Karthi that you are going back to work?'

'Yes Aunty… he is fine with it. I have told him my arrival time as well. He also suggested like what you just did.'

'Ok.. Fly safe.'

'Bye…'

I walk out after getting sort of permission from my mother in law. This is all so new and I am still getting used to it. I have lived independently and now not even one whole week of marriage I am feeling suffocated. Something is seriously wrong with me. Entering the office, everyone is surprised to see me back at work.

'Hey.. you are back early!'

'Yea.. Karthi had to get back to work.. urgent call so we came back early and he left to Sydney so I am all alone at home. Nothing much to do so I decided to come back to work.' I give a simple explanation. I need to speak to Ven. I grab my purse and walk to the pay phone.

'Ann… how are you? And what are you doing in Singapore? Aren't you suppose to be at Phuket?'

I filled her with the reasons and she jumped above the roof.

'How can work be more important than a new bride.. I know you were saving your virginity for the wedding night but is he bored sleeping with you already?'

'We sleep yes.. but I am still a virgin' I tell her and the line went silent.

'Ven? You there?'

'You mean .. you guys didn't?'

'Yeah.. we didn't'

'What were you guys doing in Bali.. the honeymoon paradise?'

'Sightseeing, eating and snoring away.'

'You what! What is wrong with you?'

'Me?! It is him! I burst. A lady could hold her anger only that much.

'What do you mean? He never try to touch you?'

'No! Not even when I was wearing the sexy night dress that I showed you…'

'When is he returning from Australia?'

'Day after tomorrow.'

'I know where is his Sydney Office. I will meet him. Let me find out what is wrong.'

'What ever Ven… '

'Ok baby sister.. I will call you after I have spoken to him.'

'I am leaving to New York.'

'Which hotel you will be staying?'

'Comfort Inn JFK'

'Talk to you soon.'

'Bye..'

There.. I trust Ven.. I hope she will be giving me some answers. I walk back to my office and the HR manager was there. She is joking with some of the pilots who will be flying out tonight.

'There she is..' Jacob informs her. I just saw her assistant today on my leave cancellation and she didn't say anything. Why is Madam Cheong looking for me?

'Ahh Tasha.. I was hoping to catch you before you fly out.'

'Yes.. I have done all the paper works…'

'No no.. I wanted to tell you about this whrn you get back day after tomorrow but I just can't wait…'

'What is it?'

'We have promoted you to be the air hostess trainer..'

'Huh!'

'Yes, but you will need to be based at San Francisco office for six months training on how to train.'

'Hah… This is..'

'I know.. just discuss with your husband and let us know ok?'

I nod my head… yes I am happy about the promotion but .. I just got marri3ed and now they are sending me to the other side of the globe?

* * *

'Have you told Karthi?' Monica asks during dinner. We have landed and there is about 12 hours before we leave.'

'No.. '

'You spoke to him after you landed and you didn't tell him?'

'I tried but he said he is tied up and can't talk.'

'Huh? I have never seen a newly married couples behaving like you guys.' Monica shrugs.. and she has a point.

We didn't speak about Karthi or my marriage after that.. Monica tried hard to make me feel happy. Ven called me just before I hit the sack.

'Helo?'

'Ann…it's me.'

'Yes Ven..'

'I saw Karthi…'

'Where?'

'Near my office.. I think he has forgotten that I am attached to CSU… he was with another guy.. colleague I think… walking to a hotel. Do you know which hotel he is staying?'

'Nah… I called him after I landed but he didn't talk to me…he was tied up.'

'Ok.. I will talk to him before he returns okay?'

'Okay.. Thanks Ven.'

'Why is your sister calling?' Monica asks after I hang up.

'She saw Karthi near his work place.'

'oh…' Monica was smart not to utter a single word.

* * *

'Monica.. I feel some one is watching.' I raise my worry to her. Since we got down for breakfast, I had a funny feeling that someone is watching but I can't catch the person.

'Maybe it is Christian?' Monica says raising her right brow…. She does that when she is 101% confident.

'Nonsense…. How could he even know that we are here?'

'Hey… he might… he manage to find your house…'

'Come.. I am done. We need to get ready.'

After taking my bath, I was applying my usual natural look make up when someone knocks the door.

'Yes?'

'Ms Steele?'

'Yes..' Only one person addresses me like that.

'This was left for you maam.'

The room service boy gives me a single red rose with a note attached to it.

'Thanks.'

I inspect the note after closing the door.

'Dear Anastasia… It is good to see you after so long… and you still look as gorgeous as before… and I definitely miss your beautiful full lips.'

Oh god.. it was Christian watching… but where was he?

'Who was it?' Monica asks after getting dressed. She is going to start her one inch make up ritual.

'It was Christian watching… he sent a rose with a note…'

Monica reads the note and looks at me.. 'I think you made a mistake by marrying Karthi… you should have allowed Christian into your life before deciding.'

'Please don't confuse me more… Come..lets get going… umm Monica.. do you mind keeping this note for me…'

'Sure.. if you decide to dump your…'

'Stop… I will keep it at my apartment when I go there next week. Don't get any ideas.'

* * *

'What time is Karthi arriving?'

'I think in 10 minutes time.'

'You want me to wait…'

'Nah.. it's ok.'

Ten minutes later, Karthi's flight touches down and I walk to the immigration gate to wait for him. After few minutes, I see him walking to the gate with another man..holding hands! What the heck! He nevel held my hands like that. My blood started to boil… after going through the immigration, Karthi collects his bag and notices me.

'Hey… how long were you waiting?'

'A while…' and the other man comes to Karthi..

'Shiva.. this is my wife Sahana.., Ana… this is Shiva.'

'Hi'

Karthi says good bye to his male friend and finally I got him for myself.

'Karthi.. I have something to tell you…'

'Me to.. you go first…'

'You first…' and we arrived at the entrance where the driver is waiting.

'Fine.. at home then..' Karthi says…

* * *

Finally I have changed into my night dress and in the room alone with Karthi.

'You wanted to say something.'

'Yes… the airlines wants to send me to San Francisco for training. They are promoting me to be a airhostess trainer and I have to undergo six months training…'

'Hey .. that is good… I also have a news for you…


	14. Chapter 14 - Suspecting Something

Dear readers, reviewers and faithful followers… thank you for the support and wonderful reviews and PMs. This story is based on real life story… it happened to my own cousin sister… but she is now happily married with a kid…

Secondly.. I would not be able to update my pintrest board because I am away from office and all the pictures are in my office pc… I will update when I get back to work next week. If anyone needs any clarifications on what I am writing or why.. please feel free to pm me.. or msg me on fb.

* * *

'Hey .. that is good… I also have a news for you…'

'What' I ask.. waiting for the atomic bomb to drop.

'You actually brought me luck…'

'What do you mean?' I ask puzzled.

'You remember the Network Administrator for Asia Pacific position that I was aiming for?'

'Yes..' I nod. Karthi has been putting in the extra hours in office for the last one year aiming for that position, which is also the cause of him leaving me alone most of the time.

'I have got it!'

'What?' now I am shocked…

'Yes and the credit goes to you… your lucky charm'

'What is the catch?'

'I will be based at Sydney for eight months… I was dreading to think that I have to leave you here alone all by yourself with my family… I know you are still not familiar with the rules of the house but now you are also promoted, you can also leave the house.'

Karthi sounds so excited and I just don't understand. He is happy to stay at the other side of the globe… thousands kilometers away from me.

'Can I follow you?'

'And your work?'

'I'll resign' and I don't know what made me say that… I know it sounds stupid but I can't help it…

'Don't be ridicules… I am not the type who expects the wife to wait for their husbands in hands and knee.. you must have a career… achieve all you can..' and I took his words as encouragement.

'I am worried about your family… what would they say? How would they take it?'

'They can say and think what ever they want… it is our life… we should lead it as how we want.' I nod my head in agreement.

'When are you suppose to reply your HR?'

'As soon as possible. They gave me the letter after I landed while waiting for you just now.'

'Ok.. reply them tomorrow.'

'Have you accepted the offer?'

'Yes… I did it while I was I Sydney.' Karthik says and lies down beside me. How could he accept it without talking to me? What is my role here?

'Who was that guy who was with you at the airport?'

'Shiva..colleague.. Why?'

'Nothing..' just that you looked very comfortable with him I say to myself.

'Good night…' and few seconds later, I hear him snoring. Gah… such an irritating man… I think I was happier dating him than marrying him. I pull out my laptop. Firing it up… undecided what to do, I typed Christian Grey Seattle on Google. I gather some information about him but generally it is something that he has told me before. I shuffle through my laptop bag and found his card. I threw his card into my laptop bag when I was packing my things before moving in with Karthi. I don't know what made me to do that. There is an email address….

Should I or should not contact him? While debating with myself, Monica's YM pings me.

**_Monica: _**What the heck are you doing online?

**_Me: _**Surfing

**_Monica_**: And what is your wonderful Karthi is doing?

**_Me_**: Sleeping

**_Monica_**: Did you do it today?

**_Me_**: No

**_Monica_**: Why?

**_Me_**: He just slept off after telling me that he has to go to Australia for training…

**_Monica_**: how long?

**_Me_**: 8 months..

**_Monica_**: I don't understand why both of you even bothered getting married…

**_Me_**: me to… he asked me to accept the promotion and training.

**_Monica_**: Ask him to take a hike…

**_Me_**: I got to go… I will be going to office tomorrow. Wanna meet?

**_Monica_**: Sure.. what time?

**_Me_**: 1

**_Monica_**: Good night Tasha

**_Me_**:night..

* * *

'Congratulations Tasha.. I am glad your husband agrees to let you accept this promotion and training.'

Everyone seems to think that Karthi is a dream husband because he is not stopping me from climbing the career ladder… only Monica knows my private life…

When are you leaving?' Monica asks sipping her iced tea.

'This Wednesday' I reply sipping my iced coffee.

'And Karthi?'

'His flight is 10 minutes after mine' I replied. I called him after getting the tickets and he was soo happy that I am leaving on the day that he is leaving… and we have not told his mother… I am not sure how her reaction is going to be.

'Both of you are crazy!'

'Yes.. I agree… I am still a virgin after one week of marriage. I wont be surprised if I leave the country virgin!' yea.. I have my frustration.. Wednesday is not far away … four days to go and Karthi is going to JB today and will be back tomorrow. I have actually given up on sleeping with Karthi.

'Anastasia…' Monica Snaps me to the present..

'What?'

'I still think you deserve a better person.'

'Gee thanks. I have to fill in for Devi… a flight to India… Her father passed away and no one is available to fill her. I got to go now..'

'Yah.. right.. call me when you are back.'

'I should be back tomorrow noon.'

* * *

'Okay Karthi.. I got to go now… I should be back by tomorrow evening.' I called Karthi before boarding and again, he is the most supportive husband who doesn't stand between me and my career.

'Ok Ana… we shall inform our parents about the promo and moving out tomorrow evening then.. I will pick you up.. text me the time of arrival'

I end the call with a simple goodbye and walk to the awaiting flight after texting the ETA.

* * *

Karthi is waiting for me when I walk out of the airport… looking handsomely messy as usual. He receives me with a simple hug and a kiss on my forehead. He told me about his trip to JB and how he manages to solve the stupid server problem. At home after bath, it was just after dinner when Karthi broke the news about our move. It was hell broken loose. His mother and grandmother were totally against it.

'I want a grandchild to play with and you both are moving continents apart!' Karthi's mother yells. I was taken aback by her audacity. She is loud but never yells..

'I was hoping to see my great grandchild but looks like I am going to die before that' his grandmother says sadly.. I think she shaded tears. Karthi continues to convince them and his father was still silent. Karthi's sister who was also there sat beside me. She just got back from her Uni today after leaving two days after our wedding.

'We must talk..' she whispers.

'Now?' I ask.

'Later' she says.. and I nod to her.

'Yeah leave us all alone and you young people fly around the globe!' Karthi's mother yells but now it is complete with tears.

'Thanks for understanding mom.' Karthi says and I just look at her apologetically. What else I could do.

XXXXX

'Are you and my brother having some sort of problem?' Varsha asks.

'No.. why do you ask?' both of us are sitting on the swing in the garden. The hurricane has calmed and everyone.. including Karthi has gone to bed.

'When I got back, I heard mom and grandma were talking to each other…'

'About us?'

'Yes..'

'And may I know what were they talking?'

'They think that you and Karthi are not happy…. They can see that you are sad and Karthi is always busy.'

'Yea… He is… we hardly spend time together.'

'Umm… this is a little embarrassing but given the point that we are almost the same age, I am asking you as a friend…'

I can suspect what she is going to ask from her tone but I still ask, 'What is it? Spill'

'You still have not slept with my brother…'

Oh god… how on earth does she know?

'How do you know?'

'Grandma commented actually… she said that from the way you are walking.. you are still pure.'

'And how does she knows…'

'I don't know. All this old people have their ways.'

'This is embarrassing… but yes.. your brother is more interested in spending time with his colleagues and computers then me. He rather use his fingers to press the buttons on they keyboard then use his fingers on me..' I can't hold back and my tear dam burst.

'Oh..' and she envelopes me in a big hug…'No girl should go through this…' moments later she releases me but she looked like she is still holding back something.

'Another thing'

'What' I ask wiping away my tears.

'This might not be true but just my suspicion.'

'Spill'

'I have spotted Karthi with a man… very very frequently… at odd timing and location. I did ask him about this but he said that it is work related.'

'Who is this guy?'

'Shiva.' I felt like a ton of bricks hit me after hearing the name. Varsha continues, 'I think Karthi is gay and Shiva is his partner.'

My whole body went numb after hearing this. I do believe Varsha might be right. He rather spend time with Shiva then me.

'Do you think that he is using me as a cover to cover up his sexual preference?'

Varsha nods sadly. Here in Asia, we don't speak openly about sex. Being gay is something that you can't shout around. It makes perfect sense but Varsha continues.. 'It is only my suspicion.'

'It's ok Varsha… I won't say a single word to anyone. My sister is in Sydney… I can ask her help to check on Karthi.'

'I hope your marriage will work,' Varsha says with tears…

'I hope so too…'

'Else…if it doesn't, I want you to find your true love and live happily ever after.'

'Thanks Varsha.'

* * *

Finally the day for us to fly off has arrived. Karthi's mother and grandmother are still upset but they still blessed us before we leave. Karthi's father wished us luck and Varsha promised to keep in touch with me through e mail. After checking in, we went to our respective gates. I did manage to see Shiva somewhere in the airport… but not sure if he is following Karthi. I wrote to my sister about my move and the conversation between Varsha and me. My sister as usual consoled me and promised to keep tabs on Karthi while he is in Sydney. I called my mother about my move and she is glad that Karthi is not stopping me from my job. I am now leaving everything that I know, loved and lived behind and hoping to start something fresh in San Francisco.


	15. Chapter 15 - Ana Breaks Her Shell

The company driver was already waiting for me when I arrived at the wee hours of Friday morning. It is August, so the temperature is slightly hot, but being from the equatorial, it doesn't do any bad to me. Most of my clothes are suitable for this weather.

'Welcome Miss Steele. I am Peter Mayer. Call me Pete. I will be driving you to your apartment after meeting Ms Smith. She is in the office waiting for you. She will brief you on all the relevant details.' I followed the driver to Singapore Airlines office inside the airport. Seems like a busy airport and I hope I will be able to fit in.

'This way miss.' He points to a door with Ms Smith's name on it. I knocked and enter.

'Hi Ms Steele, I am Amy Smith.'

'Hi.. Anastasia Steele… call me Ana…'

'Oh.. I was told by Madam Cheong that you are Tasha…'

'Yes.. but I want some changes here… I prefer Ana…'

'No problem Ana.. call me Amy. Now please have a seat.'

I sit opposite her while she gathers some papers and files.

'This is the training schedule. You will be trained with 5 other trainers to be… we will be conducting the training at our office down town. You will be given the company apartment. The other trainees will also be in the same building. The driver will pick everyone for the first two weeks until everyone is familiar with the public transportation. After two weeks, you guys are on your own.' I nod and register what ever that she just said.

'This is they key to your apartment. Training will start on Monday.'

'Thanks Amy.'

'See you Ana.'

I take the keys from her and with a simple goodbye, I walk out and Pete is there waiting to take me to the apartment.

He loads my luggage and opens the door for me. I now must get used to people calling me Ms Steele and Ana… I want to leave Tasha behind… the blindly in love girl who feels so betrayed at the moment. My mind flies back to Karthi…

When we left the airport, he just hugged me casually and wished me good luck.

'Ana.. I hope you will enjoy yourself at San Francisco and excel in the training. I know you will.. you are always bright and smart. Good luck honey…' with that he envelope me with a big bear hug and again kissed my forehead. I tried kissing his lips but it was more like a brush than a kiss.

'Hey of course… you are still my wife… my beautiful lovely wife… we are doing this for our future… don't cry..' he says as my eyes starts to tear. We parted with a simple goodbye and a peck on my cheek. I still can't believe it.. after two weeks of marriage, I am flying .. leaving Karthi for a training, virgin and not even kissed on the lips..

'We are here Ms Steele,' the Pete interrupts my thoughts. I step out of the car and Pete has unloaded my luggage. He leads the way to the elevator.

'Your apartment is apartment 8 at the fifth floor. Two of the trianees are from our local office. The other two will be in this building. They are from new York office.'

'I see…'

We reached my floor and Pete wanted to help me with my bags but I refused.

'It is fine.. I can manage.'

'There are supermarket nearby where you can get groceries if you want to cook.'

'Thanks Pete.'

I enter the furnished apartment which belongs to the company. I walk to the bed room and there is a nice queen sizes bed with a sea blue quilt and blue curtain draping the windows. It has a attached bathroom Also with blue finishing. I love this little cave… after dumping the contents of my luggage on the bed, I pick up my towel and toothbrush and head to a nice cold shower. Half an hour later, I dress in a cotton blue knee length dress with floral abstract. Placing my shades in my head, I wear my flats and lock the door heading to the supermarket with my black bag. The advantage of working with airline, we can have excessive luggage weight and no one will ask anything. I have also left some shoes and bag with Monica who promised to bring it over when she flies down. Isles after isles, I gather all the necessary groceries for one week. I hate eating out, so I am going to cook. On my way back, I saw a bookstore.. Marvelous. I head in and it is heaven o earth. I grab a romance fiction book and walk back. Now I can cook and enjoy a book.

After putting away the groceries in the tiny kitchen, I walk back to the room. I started sorting and arranging my clothes to the wardrobe. 45 minutes later, I finished with my wardrobe and also setup my laptop in the study table in the room. Before putting away my bag, I checked all the compartments and Christian's card fell on the table. I pull the courage to mail him. What the heck I thought to myself. When my husband can't spend time with me and rather spend time with Shiva, I don't see any harm in befriending a man who claimed my lips… twice!

* * *

**To: **Christian Grey

**From: ** Anastasia Steele

**Date: **17 August 2012; 12.10pm

**Subject: **Thank you

Dear Mr Grey,

I received your single rose and the note while at New York… Thank you and it was a beautiful red rose.

From,

Anastasia Steele

* * *

I hit the send button. I am still doubtful if he will reply my mail but he was the one who gave me the card. He did chase me before I got married to Karthi. He was man enough to leave me alone after I told him not to disturb me anymore. When I am about to close my gmail, a new mail popoed. To my shock, it was a reply from Christian.

* * *

**To: **Anastasia Steele

**From: ** Christian Grey

**Date: **17 August 2012; 12.13pm

**Subject: **You are most welcomed

Dear Ms Steele,

Now I am assured that the rose did reach you.

I am shocked to see that the time this mail is sent is my local time. Are you here somewhere?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

* * *

Oh.. I quickly hit the reply button.

* * *

**To: **Christian Grey

**From: ** Anastasia Steele

**Date: **17 August 2012; 12.15pm

**Subject: **Nearby

Dear Mr Grey,

Yes.. I am at San Francisco. That explains the time on my mail.

From,

Anastasia Steele

* * *

And the reply was instant.

* * *

**To: **Anastasia Steele

**From: ** Christian Grey

**Date: **17 August 2012; 12.17pm

**Subject: **Welcome to US

Dear Ms Steele,

How long are you going to be at San Francisco… I am still not out of shock that you actually contacted me. I still remember you told me not to contact you and I did respect your request. But now, you have made the first contact, so I assume that now the request is invalid. Am I free to contact YOU?'

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

* * *

I smile at his reply… yes, I broke the barrier that I build around me… barrier against any other man in my life…

* * *

**To: **Christian Grey

**From: ** Anastasia Steele

**Date: **17 August 2012; 12.20pm

**Subject: Anytime**

Dear Mr Grey,

I will be here for the next six months, undergoing training to be a trainer. Please come out of your shock. I don't want to be hold responsible if you get a cardiac arrest. And yes, you are free to contact me…

From,

Anastasia Steele

* * *

And again the reply is instant.

* * *

**To: **Anastasia Steele

**From: ** Christian Grey

**Date: **17 August 2012; 12.23pm

**Subject: **Happy Man

Dear Ms Steele,

That is a very long time… since we have renewed our relationship; may I take you for dinner? Tonight? Or are you here with your husband? I assume you are married already.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

* * *

Hmmm why he have to remind me about my disastrous marriage?

* * *

**To: **Christian Grey

**From: ** Anastasia Steele

**Date: **17 August 2012; 12.27pm

**Subject: Anytime**

Dear Mr Grey,

Dinner sounds great. Isn't Seattle is quite a distance from here? And I am here alone.

From,

Anastasia Steele

* * *

**To: **Anastasia Steele

**From: ** Christian Grey

**Date: **17 August 2012; 12.30pm

**Subject: **Man of all means

Ms Steele,

Yes, it is quite a distance but I will be there at 7 to pick you up. Send me your address.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

* * *

I smile to myself… he just makes me feel happy. I replied his email with my address and got busy with cooking. After having a simple lunch, I decided to choose the dress to wear for the dinner. I decided to wear something simple, sweet and womanly. Also keeping n mind not to overdo. This is literally my first date… I feel like a school girl getting ready for prom. I decided in my blue knee length dress with blue crystal earring and my black peep toe shoe and black clutch. This will do with my limited wardrobe..

I decided to inform my sister about my outing. I pulled out my I-Phone and whatapped my sister informing about my little dinner with Christian. As usual, being a supportive sister, she asked me to go ahead and she also added that Karthi is in Sydney and she has put in her spies to monitor him. As I send her my thank you message, my doorbell rings. Christian is standing with a beautiful bouquet of roses and lilies.

'Hi Anastasia…'


	16. Chapter 16 - The Dinner

_**Dear Readers, Followers and Reviewers - Thanks again for the encouragement... I love every one of your reviews.. pm's and messages.**_

_**Dear Annoyed Reviewer**_

annoyed 3/8/13 . chapter 15

I am just wondering- is it just me or is this story line the exact same one as FIFTY SHADES OF DESIRE? Well,it feels that way!

**Too bad you feel the story line is the same... because you don't understand my story line... Please re read both stories and you will see that it is totally different... and yes.. it is just you.**

* * *

'Hi Anastasia…'

Christian is at my door step to pick me up for dinner. Part of me wants to just forget everything and go out with this man and have all the fun a girl can imagine. Another part of me is still holding back to my native values… one man for one woman and to be a faithful wife to my husband.

My eyes were glued to Christian's beautiful grey eyes.

'Come in' I say but my voice came out hoarse.. laced with attraction towards the male model in front of me.

He steps in. He looks very comfortable with his body and moves with ease.

'Nice and cozy.' He says looking around my new home.

'Company's apartment, for staffs.' I fill him with details.

'Shall we?' he asks. Standing handsomely in front of me…

'Yes,' I replied grabbing my clutch. Christian waits patiently while I lock the door. Once the key is safely inside the clutch, Christian takes my hand and leads the way to the elevator. Inside the elevator, again I feel the charge building… exactly the same as it was months ago when I first got into the elevator at Westin with Christian… images of the kiss we shared flashes through my mind. Before I could react, we reached the ground floor and the elevator pings open. A huge SUV is waiting for us. Christian leads me to the car and another tall built man with crew cut, like those in army, greeted us.

'Good evening ma'am,

'Anastasia, this is Taylor. Taylor…Anastasia Steele.'

'Good evening Mr..'

'Taylor ma'am.'

'Oh?' I am a little confused but Christian is fast enough to read my confusion decided to fill me in.

'It's Jason Taylor.' He says matter of fact.

'Oh.. Good evening Mr Taylor.' He smiles as Christian helps me into the SUV. By the time I buckle up, Christian gets into the car.

'Do you take steaks?'

'Only lamb… I don't eat pork or beef.'

'Why?'

'Hindu's doesn't eat pork or beef… but some does..' I fill him in. I don't think he will understand the Asianized side of me.

'I see.. That is something new.' We stop at a very expensive looking restaurant. Before I can see the signage, Christian drags me into the restaurant.

'Greetings Mr Grey. Marie will be your waitress for the night.' The host directed us to a secluded table and provided us with the menu.

'Marie will be with you shortly sir, ma'am.'

I scan through the menu thinking of what to choose… it is so difficult to decide. I look up to Christian who is sitting opposite me, and he is watching me intently.

'What are you staring at?'

'You..'

'Why?'

'You have a cute 'V' forming at your glabellas when you are thinking.'

'Oh.. I am not sure what to eat.' I look back that the menu. I just can't resist his smoldering grey eyes which looks through me.

'What do you feel like having?' his voice is soft… seductive even.

You… darn…where did that come from. 'Ummm Fish.'

'Fish and Chips? With vegetables?'

'Will do… as for drinks, may I have fresh orange.'  
'No wine?' his voice didn't hide his shock.

'I don't consume alcohol… wine is only if I don't have a choice.'

'Oh.. so your tolerance level will be very low…' he says with a smirk. As if I have said an unthinkable thing about me.

'Hi .. I am Marie, your waitress tonight. Have you decided sir? Ma'am?' A tall blond stands at our table, with a super high heels and a tight pencil skirt and a tight white blouse. If she gains another ounce of weight, I think her buttons at the front will pop. She looks at Christian longer than it is necessary.

'Steak, medium rare with vegetables and Fish and Chips with vegetables. Mushroom soup first. Red wine for me and fresh orange for the lady.' Christian replies without moving his eyes away from me. Karthi has never did this before.. be in control. I use to order food for myself…he never takes charge of things.

'So Anastasia… what made you to contact me?' Christian asks, after the waitress left our table. The moment I was dreading… what could I possibly answer?

'Nothing… I just emailed you. And considering you are the only friend I have at the moment.'

'I was surprised to see your email… '

'Did I disturbed you?'

'You have always been disturbing me Anastasia..' Oh my… he ends the sentence with a smile to die for…

'No I didn't.' but I couldn't continue as our soup arrives with our drinks. I sip the orange juice and it taste devine.

'Yes.. every night… night after night… for the last eight months.'

What! Eight long months? ' And you never attempt to contact me?'

'I couldn't… I am man of my words… I said you will call me… so I waited.. instead you emailed.' He smirks.

'I agree… and thank you for respecting my request.' I just miss you I added silently…

'You missed me..' it was a statement then a question… how the hell does he knows that.

'Christian… I…'

'Anastasia… a woman like you… must be loved.. not left alone.'

'Yes... I have been thinking of you lately... I just couldn't forget your touch.. your kiss. And I have not forgiven myself for allowing such situation.'

'Ana... stop defying your needs.'

I shake my head... 'Christian... I am not westernized enough.. simple.'

Christian smiled and say, 'Your Asianised personality draw me to you...'

'Christian… ' I say and a tear escapes my eyes… Should I open up.

'Anastasia… do you want to talk?'

'I am just… nothing.. so.. I thought you were at Seattle.. how come you are at San Francisco?'

'Anastasia… what is bothering you?'

I let a huge sigh… this man is very demanding. Maybe he will give a listening ear rather than being critising like Monica.

'My marriage… '

'What is wrong? I can sense something is wrong… else you won't be here, alone, expecting me to be with you.'

'I am not happy.'

'And why is that?'

I am still pushing my soup around. Before I go ahead with the conversation, I polish my soup with garlic bread. Christian sat quietly sipping his soup and watching me… intently.

'Karthi… he seems to be giving more importance to his work rather than me.'

'I did try to hint that to you.' He added.

'You don't need to rub salt on wound…' I say… it is very hurting to think that I am still a married virgin woman.

'I am living a nun's life… that is the best explanation.' I blurt out… that is true… no man.. no love.. nothing. I look up to look at the man who is sitting opposite me and our eyes locks. We were just gazing each other until the waitress breaks the spell.

'Sir, maam, your dinner.' She says placing our dinner plate and clearing our now empty soup bowl and bread basket.

'Enjoy your dinner.'

'Thanks' I mumble to her… stealing another look at Christian.

'Anastasia… I owe you an apology. It was not right for me to just barge into your life…' He says digging into his dinner.

What he is saying is true.. very true indeed. But by him barging in, he showed me what a kiss is… what is it like to be touched.

'And I hope it was not a mistake.'

'No.. it was not.' I can't hold my tongue anymore.

'Christian… you popping up in my life.. is refreshing. I pushed you away.. yes.. but I just couldn't keep you in my life. I was with someone…'

'You was… aren't you still?'

'I am… technically.' Yes.. technically I am Karthi's wife.. but literally.. we are more of friends. Now long distance friends.

'Technically? Anastasia… there is more… spill baby.'

'Christian.. ' my eyes starts to fill with water and the damn might just break any moment.

'Ana… please don't cry.. here…' he hands me a napkin. I dab my eyes to dry it.

'Christian, my marriage is like a stage play. Everyone thinks we are happy… but..' should I tell him that I am a virgin?

'But what Ana?' his voice is laced with concern and his face looks serious. He remained silent for few more minutes. I need time to compose myself.

'Christian, I am married for two long weeks… but I am still a virgin.' There.. I have said it. He looks like he is struck by a lightning… gaping at me…

'Pick up your jaws!' I hiss at him and his face made me smile.

'You are kidding…'

'No Christian.. I am not.' I started pouring to Christian about how my relationship was with Karthi and how we never even hold hands. Christian listened without uttering anything. Finally, when I end my story about how we cut short our honeymoon and returned back home, he shook his head.

'I just don't understand Ana… how can he keep his hands to himself while he is with a goddess like you .. alone in a room. I know I can't!' he says gulping down his wine. That made my face heat up. Yes… and I liked his hands on me.

'I love him… I love him a lot… I am sure it is the same for him.'

'And why is this separation then?'

'We have to build our future… we have to save enough money before we start our family.'

'Anastasia… I am going to be blunt… ' he clears his throat.

I look straight to his eyes…

'I understand you need to build your finances… but that doesn't mean that you guys can't have sex… you can have protected sex. Sex is important in a marriage. It brings the man and woman close… Sex is important in a relationship. Like I said, Ana… a girl like you need to be loved… not left alone like this.'

I know what he is saying is true… but… it is just difficult.

'Anastasia… I need to tell you something.' He says… we are done with our dinner and I am sipping my last few sips of my drink. I look at him…


	17. Chapter 17 - Stalking Christian

Again, thank you so much for the wonderful reviews... I just can't stop writing this story now...

* * *

CPOV

'Christian… I can't do this. Please. Leave. Me. Alone.'

'You enjoyed my touch…' I reason with her. She did enjoy every second of my touch… my lips on her soft smooth milky skin.

'Yes.. and I am feeling extremely guilty. So.. for god sake… please.. I don't want to see you… ever!' she said with a hard voice… still crying uncontrollably. I must give her the time she need. For her to see who can make her feel loved. I wipe her tears with my thumb softly.

'You will call me Anastasia… I know… you will definitely will. See you honey.' With those words, I kiss her forehead and leave her apartment heavy hearted. Her dumbass boyfriend has never paid attention to Anastasia….

When I laid my eyes on her on that damn flight, I wanted her as my sub. Merci was never enough even though her tolerance for pain was high. She was too clingy and I know she saw me more than her dom. I don't do hearts and flowers… and I can't give what she wants.

Upon returning from San Francisco, I fuck Merci with Ana's face in my mind. Without me noticing, I started to soften because I saw Ana. Merci got misled and she started taking more authority… popping up at my apartment unannounced… breaking more rules. I realize I must find Ana. Anywhere I smell lavender, Ana's image flashes across my mind. He lavender smell body wash has been burned into my brain and nostrils. As days passed, it never helped. I decided to end my contract with Merci. It was an eventful parting. Merci went hysterical. She thought I am going to give her more.. sorry honey.. my mind is fixed to Anastasia who is at the other side of the globe. Merci left cursing but she swept her room clean.. Gail couldn't find a dust to clean.

I started tracking Ana. Thanks to Welch and his connection I manage to get her full flight schedules… even information that she is in line for a promotion. That sounds promising as she will be based in San Francisco for a good half a year. But that is not going to happen soon. I must find a way and I defiantly found. The only way is to appear on one of her flights. Appearing at her door step was my next step. It did not go well… she is too deep into her Asian culture..

'Taylor, take me back to Marina Bay. And get the PI to see me tomorrow at nine.'

'Sure sir. The report on Mr Karthi is sent to your mailbox.'

'Thanks.'

I have requested a full background check on this so called boneheaded boyfriend of Ana who has been leaving her alone almost all the time. Ana has never felt that he is not around because she is also busy flying. After shower, I log on to my mailbox and clicked on the email that has Karthi's full background check.

Name : Karthi Sivanesan

Age : 26 (4/3/1987)

Address : 725, Tanah Merah Besar Lane 120, Singapore

Mobile : 011 + 65 + 8357 3325

Banking Details : United Overseas Bank – 222-49561 ; Balance $135429.25

Occupation : Network Administrator

Education : MSc in Computer Networks

Employment : PNP Network Pte Ltd

Political Aff : Nil

Religious Aff : Hinduism

Sexual Orient : Un clear / Mixed preference

Relationship : Anastasia Rose Steele ; Girl friend

Mother : Vatsala Sasikala

Father : Gurumoorthy

Sister : Varsha

Activities : Busy with work. Often seen with colleague, Shiva, Travels frequently, well to do family.

There were also outline of his upcoming travel schedule and it is frequent… there is a gap … no travels … what is happening after eight months? Few lines of reading, oh.. they are getting married. I must address this with the PI tomorrow.

* * *

'Good Morning Mr Grey. I am Hendricks.'

'Good morning. Have a seat.'

'What do you want me to do for you sir?'

He is straight to the point. I believe Welch and Taylor have briefed him on the type of person I want and I am. I am aware that he has signed the NDA as well.

'This lady is Anastasia Steele… the guy with her is Karthi… soon to be her husband. I think something is not right in their relationship. I need to know what is wrong. You have to be discreet and update me on daily basis on their whereabouts and activities. You may engage another PI to assist you but before you give out any details to him, get him to sign the NDA. I believe you own the agency.' I told him showing a photo of them taken by Welch few weeks ago. She looks so sweet with her pink top and her hair is framing her face and with a dash of pink lipstick… she is just a goddess fallen from the skies.

'Yes Mr Grey, I own my agency and I have signed the NDA on behalf my whole agency. I will get another senior PI to assist me and he will too sign the NDA too.' He says snapping me back to the present

'Any other questions?'

'Nothing at the moment sir.'

'Liase with Taylor.' I say dismissing him. Now… I can only wait and monitor sweet little Anastasia. I also have to deal with my Hong Kong associates. Looks like I am going to be at Asia for a little longer than I anticipated.

* * *

Ana's pictures from the family meeting is staring back at me. She doesn't seem to be happy. There is something seriously wrong. I have asked my PI to check on it and the latest information is that, she is going to have a sisterly outing. I told the PI to try to get as close as possible to find out what is bothering Anastasia. The very next day, the PI was good and efficient to go undercover as a worker at the spa and was nearby the girls.

Her sister seems to be more open about sex then Ana… thanks to her, she confused Ana more than she is now. Ana feels she is betraying her so called boyfriend.. and she is shutting me off.. she doesn't want anyone to talk about me. That is promising. Those popping up like a warlock, like she said, did some good… those kisses did its magic. It is matter of time for Ana to ditch Karthi. But from the conversation, Ana is too stubborn to admit. Vennessa's statement on the type of relationship Ana is having is absolute true. I am still waiting for a full report on this so called boyfriend.

Two days later, I receive the report. I am torn. I want Ana to be happy… but her boyfriend is so unsure about her sexual preference. He is a Gay… bloody fucking Gay. He is leading a double life… with Ana as his cover and a secret life with another man! How can he do this to sweet little Ana. Now.. I have to wait for Ana to discover that he is not going to touch her like how I did… and then I will make her mine.

* * *

'Taylor… Did the Hendricks update you on Ana's whereabouts?' I ask after leaving Sheldon Shipping Corporation after an excursing meeting and with the streets bursting with people walking like headless chickens… it is just not for me...

'Yes sir, half an hour ago she has landed at JFK.'

'She is in New York?!'

'Yes sir. She will be checking into Comfort Inn JFK.'

'Book me a room there!'

'Sir?'

'Suite… if they have.' I must be near her… my last update was they have cut short their honeymoon because of her gay husband had an unexplainable situation at office. He was then spotted at Sydney with his partner. Ana's sister is also keeping tabs on him. It is just about time for them to suspect the whole situation. Hendricks have been doiong a good job.

I was broken when he sent me Ana's engagement pictures. I am amaze the extend that he has gone. He disguised as the photo assistant just to get me the updates for her engagement and wedding. I must agree that Anastasia looks gorgeous in her engagement and wedding costume. Consulting Google, I got to know that her costume name is Sari and it is their traditional costume. She had a beautiful smile on her face with eyes full of hope and love .. to live happily with her so called fiancée.

I drunk myself down on her wedding day. They had a very beautifully arranged wedding with fresh flowers decorating the hall. Ana again looked like an angel with all her jewelries and sari. I wish it is me holding her hand… tying the yellow string around her neck.. and I can make her MINE. ONLY MINE.

'Taylor, lets go out for dinner… somewhere near Confort Inn.'

'Sure sir… Pasta fine?'

'Anything' I couldn't be bothered what I am going to eat… I am going to see Ana in flesh and blood shortly. I just can't wait. Once seated in the open air restaurant, I face the hotel and ordered Pasta… and I am still not sure what I have ordered. I can see Taylor having a small smile playing on his lips..

'What is so funny?' I ask.. but I realize my voice is not as hard as it suppose to be. That widens his smile.

'Sir… nothing.' He says.. still looking amused. I hate it when someone is amused at my expense but nothing will spoil my mood now… if I can't her outside.. I might just walk into the damn hotel. While indulging in the pasta, I see her walking out for dinner.. hidden behind my dark shades watching her… She look prettier.. Prettier than before. Her skin is glowing.. Screaming fuck me! I must have her but as I told her she has to find me. I must do something for her to remember me. Remember my touch. She walks to a restaurant near the hotel, too bad for me.. it is opposite. I could only thank my lucky stars that she is siting facing me. She looks stunning but there is a hint of sadness in her face. I also notice the PI is lurking at her background…

'Taylor… get me a red rose.' I must make Ana know that I am watching her… I am still waiting for her. I still want her.. want her around me.

'Sorry? I mean Mr Grey… One rose?'

'Yes... One red rose.. With long stem.' I stand to end the conversation but Taylor is now smiling broadly… that bastard.

'Definitely sir.'

I wreak my brain on what to write as a note to accompany the rose. I can't sound desperate. _You are desperate for her… else you wouldn't be hiring a damn PI to update on her activities… you are sub less and it is almost eight months since you had a good fuck.. Your hand will not do it anymore! I need a sub_ … there is my inner voice again! Shut the hell up…

I made arrangement with Taylor to deliver the rose to Ana… and get ready to board my Jet in the morning.


	18. Chapter 18 - Christian and Flynn

_**Thank you thank you thank you... Thank you so much for the reviews. My faithful readers and wonderful - faithful reviewers - Cynthia74, jnie3,pielietje, greyFan79, Pavie, princessrolon, Lori66, Chi8sa28, Joep2007, Wolfpack, AnnahD - Thank you. Love all the reviews and PMs.**_

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Damn.. Why can't Ana see what she is missing out.. She is trying to play the faithful wonderful wife but her husband is fucking around with another man. She deserves better… She did admit that she is attracted to me and months following her made me fond of her… I am fond of her dedication, determination, lovable nature, caring nature, her strength, independence and every other thing about her. I might be in love with her… I don't see her tied up in different positions in my playroom these days… instead, I see her like a girlfriend material. I see myself holding hands with her… I see myself taking a stroll with her on the beach.. Laughing with her, cooking with her… just staring at each other's face. She doesn't scream sex to me… she screams love. I have held my tongue from talking about Ana to Flynn but after seeing her in New York… I must sort my shit. I must know if I can love her? Am I capable of loving another person? With my fifty shades of fuckedupness can I accept Ana into my life? Will she be the person giving me the love that I am yearning for? Will her touch heal me?

'So Christian, has this Anastasia contacted you in any ways?' I am sitting in front of Flynn pouring out my frustration on not getting anywhere near Ana and being sub less is another agenda. It has been a long wait. Eight fucking long months!

'No! I don't know what the hell is wrong with her. When is she going to see that she deserves more?'

'Do you want more, Christian?'

'Huh.. What do you mean?'

'Christian, for a long time, you have been denying that you need a real woman to be with you. You always considered a sub is enough but now it has been eight months since Merci and you refuse to have another sub and waiting for Anastasia. Anastasia is indefinite. You might not get her. She is married.'

'Yeah… married to a fucking Gay who has not fucked her? She needs me.'

'So you think… but does she?'

'Until she knows what her husband is up to.'

'Christian... She might be happy with her marriage.'

'She is bloody not happy… I have my ways to find out and I heard her saying her fucking husband has not fucked her and it is not doing any good.'

'Christian… if Anastasia comes to you… will you accept her?'

'I want her… I never wanted anyone..'

'Do you want Ana as your sub?'

'No… I can't see her as a sub.' I whisper… I can't believe that I am admitting that I don't want a sub…

'And why is that?'

'I have been following all her activities for the last eight months.. She doesn't have a submissive bone anywhere in her body. She is independent.. she knows what she wants. And I know I want her.'

'How much time did you spend with her?'

'Not much… but her touch brings something out of me. I don't know how to describe.' I felt comfortable with her touch. I feel fresh… no pain.

'You don't like to be touched Christian.'

'But when she touched me… it left me wanting more.. I want her to touch me..'

'When exactly did she touch you? And where?'

'I appeared at her doorstep… while she was waiting for her fiancée. We actually made out..'

'And her fiancée?'

'He was leaving the island… after promising her to meet her for dinner. He just called and told her sorry he can't make it. What kind of a dumb idiot he is.'

'Care to share what happened?'

'I went to her house and she was there waiting for that idiot who ditched her. I self-invite and she was annoyed… but there was a spark in her eyes. She was happy to see me but she refused to acknowledge it. He called her while I was still there and she started pouring out that her so called boyfriend is always away. She started tearing. I couldn't stop myself from wiping her tear away.'

'Were you seeing her as a sub material at that time.'

'At that time… yes.'

'What did you tell her?'

'I wanted to talk to her… I wanted to tell her what I want… what I can offer.. how much I need her. How much I need to be inside her. She pushed me off again but giving a summary of how we met… eliminating the juicy part. I know I had to remind her about my kiss.. and touch.'

'Did she remember?'

'Yes… but she refuses to acknowledge that she loved it. But she did admit that she is attracted to me.'

'That is a progress Christian.'

'But it is not enough…'

'What did you do to show her that you really want her?'

'I kissed her… '

'Where?'

'Everywhere… I even bit her..'

'Umm.. and how did she respond?' I can see Flynn's face heating up.

'That is when she touched me… '

'Everywhere?'

'No… my arm and hair…'

'Christian, what I was doing just now was analyzing Anastasia… and from what you have told me… she is love deprived. I can assure that she is defiantly love deprived. She is in a comfortable relationship. But if you want her as a sub, looking at her Asian background, she will not agree… and she may run to the hills. Again… you did say that you don't see her as your sub now, she might agree to be with you. I want you to be prepared for what ever she decides. You said that she is very Indianised. Indians are known to be very conservative. She might just accept that it's' her fate and carry on with her marriage.

'I know that Flynn!' I can't hold it.. my fucking sense knows that she is a very conservative girl.

'Christian.. my suggestion is, don't go all out to her.. you might scare her.'

I can't leave her… 'What should I do… I can't fucking get her out of my head! I get dreams of her… I dream of her eyes.. her smile… her milky skin! Anywhere I smell lavender, her face flashes at me… I might be imposing a rule in GEH soon that no one should wear lavender body wash or fragrance!'

'Christian.. that's absolute crazy!' Flynn who was composed is losing his composure. I smirk at him.

'Christian, what took you so long to tell me about Anastasia… it is eight months and you ..'

'Flynn… I want her… I tried for the..' I cut him off.

'Christian.. you did not try to forget her.. you stalked her. He got her updates almost everyday.. I think you are in love.' He countered me.

'What! I can't love… I don't know how to love.' But I think I love her…

'Christian, you care for her… you want to know what is she doing all the time… you want to know what is going on in her life… and you want her… all these are love.' He is trying to drill into my head… on of the few people who can drill into me.

Love? Me? With Ana? I want her but I don't deserve to love her… I can never love anyone… no one will love me… with all my fuckedupness…

'Thanks Flynn..'

'Christian.. do you want to extend today's session?'

'No.. I got to go… it is very late.'

'Christian… Ana will contact you… I certainly hope so. I want to see the woman who stole your heart.'

'Fl..'

'Good bye Christian' he cuts. Damn at times he is soo right. I head back to my home office. As ritual, I log into my mail to check on updates… Holy hell! Ana is coming to San Francisco.. and she is arriving this Friday… I certainly hope she will contact me. Good that her gay husband is staying on the other side of the globe. I bet he will be having a gala time with his partner. That darn Shiva is following him. Now.. I am focused on Ana arriving on Friday morning.

* * *

'Ros! What is happening with the Taiwan shipyard?' I bark on my phone. Ana has arrived and she has not contacted me. It is already 10 in the morning.

'I don't care what happens… just get them to sign the bloody papers.' And I slam the phone. I need to calm my nerves… she is just about two hours away from me but I can smell lavender… or it's just my imagination.

'Andrea!' I yell… my door is open so I am sure she can hear me despite my room being sound proof.

'Mr Grey?' she walks in without any fear… that is why we work well. She is not afraid of me but knows me well… at times I think she knows me too well.

'Coffee.. strong black.'

'Right away sir..' and she darts out. This is driving me crazy. I ran six miles today morning and kickboxing for another hour didn't calm my nerve. I try to dig into my work. I am not sure how long I have been looking at the accounts of SIP that suddenly I had the urge to check my mail box. My mailbox is normally flooded with official matters during the day and nothing pertaining Ana will come in. When I check, I just couldn't believe my eyes… there is an email… sitting in my box, from Anastasia Steele. I pushed aside the papers that I am working on and click on it. I couldn't stop grinning. I am in cloud nine… she actually wrote to me saying that she received my rose. Little she knows that I know she is in San Francisco. I quickly typed a reply without giving away that I know her. After hitting the send button, I call Taylor.

'Taylor… '

'Sir?'

'I need the jet today evening.'

'Destination and Departure time?'

'After three to San Francisco.'

'I will get back to you upon confirmation of slot sir.'

I end the call and there is another email confirming she is in San Francisco… oh my sweet little Ana.

I need confirmation that I can contact her… and her reply was heaven… she said I am free to contact her. I know I am grinning like a lunatic and I don't give a damn. I am free to contact Ana and that is the only thing matters to me. Taylor calls me.

'Sir, departure time confirmed at 3.30pm.'

'Thanks… and inform Gail she may take the week end off. We shall advise her if we are back on Monday.'

'Sure sir.'

Now.. I ask her for dinner and to my surprise… she agreed… and I can't tell her that I have my jet to take me where ever I want as I wish. It might scare her away. Finally after getting her address, I head home and quickly packed some clothes. Anastasia… I want you.. I will get you.

* * *

She looks breath taking with her blue dress and blue earing. Her locks is framing her face perfectly and she is glowing. I stopped by the florist to get a bouquet for her… but I know her beauty will always be more than any bouquet given to her. The bouquet will look nice because she is holding it.

'Hi Anastasia' I greet her and I can see her excitement. She invites me in and when I step in, it is a small apartment but it has everything that a human needs. She informs me that it is a company apartment. I can get her a better place to live, more secured and where I can see her often. After placing her bouquet on the breakfast bar, she leaves to the restaurant with me. I introduced her to Taylor. And my bad, I just gave Taylor's last name. she was pretty confused and she looks cute when she is confused. I fill her with Taylor's full name. I got to know that she does not take beef of pork. There is so much I need to learn from her. My whole car now smells of lavender… and I am going to go insane when I leave to Seattle… I am very sure of that. After ordering, we started talking. Her voice was musical to my ears. It is soft, but strong. She is not happy with her marriage. Maybe I should just tell her about her husband's sexual preference. I tried to make some sense about what her dumb husband is missing. I just don't understand why they don't give importance to sex! I just don't give a damn now… I need to tell her.. I can't keep my mouth shut anymore.

After finishing our dinner, I started, 'Anastasia… I need to tell you something.' Anastasia looked at me giving her full attention. Here goes nothing.


	19. Chapter 19 - Respecting Boundries

'Anastasia… I need to tell you something.'

I look up to the beautiful grey eyes burning into me..

'Yes..' I urge him. He looked like he is loss of words.

'Ana… I have been watching you for the last eight months.' He says softly… but the density and depth of voice is clear. Watching me.. What the heck for?

'Why?' I look straight at him.

He let a huge sigh off. Few moments of silence and he continued.

'Anastasia… when I saw you on that flight to San Francisco, I wanted you. I felt that I have known you for my whole life. I felt drawn to you.'

I look at him… I am just shocked to my core.. he wanted me? He felt he has known me? It is mutual…

'I wanted you… and I started finding out about you…'

'That is how you got my Singapore phone number?'

'Yes Anastasia..'

'Ummm that means when you appeared at that flight back to Singapore… it was not a co-incident?'

'No.. it was not… I knew you were on that flight.'

He smiles back… I knew it!

'I was after you… to put it simple.'

'Why?'

'I liked you… I liked your smell… I liked to look at your face…'

'Christian… I…' but he cuts me off… he didn't let me finish.

'I knew that you had a boyfriend.. whom you got engaged.. and married. I have all the photos.'

'How?'

'I hired and investigator to tail you.'

Now I know why I felt like being watched… it's the wicked Christian Grey's PI.

'Anyway… that night gown was very nice for you.'

Ops… that damn black gown I was wearing when he turned up at my door step the first time. I can feel my face is heating up…

'And that coffeeshop?'

'That is fate… '

Idiot…

'The second time..'

'Ana.. I knew your husband is not going to turn up… he was occupied. '

Darn idiot.. stalker.. I have so much words to describe him but at the moment my lips are just sealed… nothing is coming out…

'Breath Anastasia…'

I let go the breath that I am holding.

'I was very disturbed after you left. I just wanted my comfortable life without any interruption. You were like a hurricane that blew my emotions, feelings into all direction. I couldn't control myself. I can't get you out of my mind. But I had a life… I had commitments. I knew Karthi almost my whole life. He is the only boyfriend that I had.. I knew.. I love.'

'I know Anastasia… That is why I did not attempt to contact you after you asked me to leave you alone.'

'But you still stalked me…' I counter him but to my surprise, there isn't a dust of anger in me… I am glad that he was there watching me… following me… wanting me.

'Aren't you glad Anastasia?' he smirks. I can't give him the joy… I rolled my eyes.

'How did you get here so fast?'

'I flew here…'

'How can you get a ticket in such a short notice and fly down here?'

'Anastasia… I have a jet.'

Huh… I think my eyeballs will drop from my eye socket. Who is this man sitting opposite me. He can afford to hire a PI to follow me for the last eight months… pull strings to get information and a jet owner.

'Who are you Christian?' I asked before I can stop myself.

'Christian Grey… '

'Yes.. but who are you really?'

'I own Grey Enterprise, one of the riches company in States..'

'You are rich?'

'Yes… very rich.'

'Why me?'

'I think I have answered that.'

Still.. I am not angry .. I wonder why.

'Shall we?' Christian asks holding his hand out. I took his hand and stand up and pick up my clutch. We got into the SUV. We travelled silently to my apartment. Christian walks me to my now home. HE waited patiently for me while I opened the door. Once inside, he closes the door. I could feel my stomach wall churning… my heart is pumping harder… I felt my body becoming alert to the presence of the man who is behind me.

'Do you want a drink?' I came back to my sense and realize I failed to be a proper host. Christian smiles but I could see he is saying something within … at my expense.

'Wine?' he asks.

'No sorry… I don't have … tea maybe?'

'Sure Anastasia…' he says… darkly. I can feel my skin is craving for his touch… for the first time.. I want to be touched by him, by another man..

I move to my kitchen island and fill the kettle with water and put it on the stove to boil it. I stare at the kettle blankly..

'Anastasia… it won't boil quicker if you stare at the kettle.'

'Very funny.' I turn and he is standing with his first two buttons undone and his tie is few inches low. He looks hot and yummy. Just as I step towards him, the damn kettle started to whistle. I turn around and took out two cups. Just as I was placing the tea bags into the cups, two strong hands encircle my waist and Christian's nose is on my hair… I can hear a sharp long breath intake.

'I love you smell Anastasia… you smell like a flower….'

'Christian…' I said turning towards him, his hand is still encircling me. I place my palms on his forearm.

'Anastasia… you mean a lot to me… '

'I know.. but I can't. I am married Christian.' My eyes started to tear… deep down my heart, I still love Karthi but I don't get any love back.

'I know you are married Ana… and I respect that… I just needed your scent. It will keep me going.'

'Christian… ' and he crushes his lips to mine… it is so soft and silky. When we break the kiss, I just couldn't stop my tears.

'Anastasia… please don't cry… please…'

'I just feel that I am betraying my husband.'

* * *

This woman never fails to surprise me. She is not upset or even angry with me for stalking her. I am glad that I decided to confess to her that I was stalking her… it feels like a wall of concrete that has been lifted from my chest.

Her expression was classic - she just looked at me with a wide eye and a slightly parted lips. She is damn cute! When I tell her that I want her, she has a pleased look in her eyes… but she is very good a hiding… but babe… this is Christian Grey you are sitting with… a man who can read the slightest change in your face… and your beautiful face is good at hiding – given the benefit of you job where you need to hide annoyance towards those annoying demanding passengers, but you can't hide it with me.

She countered me with few questions and I admitted everything… I have to tell her I liked her lavender smell… which is burnt into my soul. Now is my chance to show her how much I want her… I told her that I have seen her pictures from engagement and wedding.. also about the PI. And I have to make her remember what my kiss does to her…

'Anyway… that night gown was very nice for you.'

Her face started to turn red… a beautiful shade of red and she looked everywhere except me. Few moments later she gained her composure and asked few other questions… when I told her that I knew her boyfriend isn't going to turn up at her doorstep, I could see a mixed feeling on her face… but nothing came out and she actually stopped breathing. Ana started to open up about her feelings and I told her I respected her request of not to disturb her. But her smart mouth is quick to counter me by accusing me of stalking her. Darn woman…

'Aren't you glad Anastasia?' I asked her… she just rolled her eyes. If she did it eight months ago, she will be across my knees now… but now.. I just enjoyed her eye rolling… she tried to look annoyed but failed miserably.

After knowing I have a jet… her eyes widens.. I think this is the widest so far! And I believe I have shocked her to her veins… she asks whispering, 'Who are you Chrsitian?'

What? She doesn't know me? She still can't believe that I am after her… her only word was, 'Why me?'

Because you are something… I can feel the attraction to you… I am drawn to you… I see you in my dreams… you keep nightmares at bay. Your skin is smooth and even after eight months, I can still feel the smoothness. Your lips is so soft and kissable.. you are the perfect package for me and I feel I have known you for my entire life. She was deathly quiet on the way back but I am glad she didn't send me off after reaching her house. I can see her body is tensing the moment we are alone in her apartment. I know that she is dedicated to her husband and I am going to respect that. I don't want to tell her about her gay husband… my PI has informed me that her sister is doing lots of digging at Sydney and she is very close to discover his lifestyle… I shall let her have the privlige of telling Anastasia that… but until she knows that, I am not going to have Ana.. I will wait for her to realize that I am the man for her.

'Do you want a drink?' she asks… oh yes baby… I would love to spend more time with you. She walks to her kitchen and put a kettle of water to boil and I just couldn't help smirking. Why on earth is she staring at the stupid kettle…

I loosen my tie and undo the first two buttons… let her see what she is loosing.

'Anastasia… it won't boil quicker if you stare at the kettle.'

'Very funny.' And she turns and her eyes is screaming – YUMMYYY. The darn kettle has to whistle when she is about to walk to me. Ana attends to the tea but I can't hold myself. I walk to her quietly and hold her around her waist… I bury my nose into her hair which smells heavenly… I can't stop myself from inhaling her divine smile. I tell her how much I love her smell.. how much she means to me.. but I just can say I love her.. why!

'I know.. but I can't. I am married Christian.' But her voice is no longer convincing… maybe she starts to realize that she needs more than that gay husband of her. I can hold myself any longer… I need to kiss her and she did not push me away when I kissed her. After breaking the kiss, she starts crying… I know what she is thinking… but this is not betraying.. what her husband is doing is betraying. I wipe her tears softly…

'Wait at the living room. I will bring the tea.' She says sniffing her nose. Even sniffing her nose, she looks cute. I darted out of the kitchen and sit at her living. It is a small apartment but a compact one. I sit on the couch throwing my glance out at the balcony and Ana was with me within seconds..

'Your tea…' she hands me a cup and sits opposite me… Why can't she sit beside me! And as if she could read my mind she blushed… I guess she remembered our make out at her apartment in Singapore. Even it is eight months ago, the memory of it is still fresh..

'Christian… Thank you for the wonderful dinner… I am glad you could accompany me today.'

'Anastasia… the pleasure is mine.. I am glad that you decided to mail me once you reached San Francisco.'

'You dropped everything and came… I am sorry fo..'

'Don't be sorry… I decide what I want to do.. and I decided to drop everything to be with you.. so here I am.'

* * *

He dropped everything to be with me… Karthi has never done that for me.. Maybe it is a mistake… maybe it is just more than friendship with Karthi.. but not love?

'Thanks .. I really appreciate it.. Are you flying back today…'

'Actually Ana.. I was thinking of asking if you could spend the day with me tomorrow before I fly out on Sunday.' His eyes were full of hope…

'Christian… I don't want to keep you away from your work…'

'No Anastasia… You will be starting your training on Monday and I don't know when I will be able to see you again… I want to spend as much time as possible with you.'

I really feel cared for… after my parents and sister… I really feel cared for now. Christian has finished his tea… oh no… he is going to leave…

'Anastasia.. see you soon. Do you have a local number?'

'You PI haven't updated you?' I smirk at him.

* * *

'You PI haven't updated you?' She smirks. Ahh .. that smart mouth of hers…

'No Anastasia…' I replied but couldn't help smiling.

'This is my number – company number – I will have to return it when I leave.' She hands me a card with her office address at San Francisco airport and her mobile number. I pocket the card and kiss her again on her lips… I just can't get enough of her lips. If her lips and skin is os soft… I wonder if other part of her body is soft … damn I need to refrain from touching her further…

'See you tomorrow Anastasia… is 9 in the morning is too early?'

'See you at nine Christian' she smiles and walks with me till the door.

'Lock the door… be safe…'

'Sure…' and she closes the door. I can hear the locks and satisfied that she is safe for now… I know the PI is keeping an eye… I walk back to the SUV and Taylor is prepared to take me to Hyatt Regency.

I know I have to be back to Archstone South San Francisco, at McLellan Drive tomorrow morning … but what should I do?

* * *

_**I hope everyone have enjoyed reading this story... thank you very much for all the kind words and support. I appreciate all the PMs, Reviews and messages... **_


	20. Chapter 20 - Secrets Revealed

'Sure…' and with that, I close the door and lock it. I lean against the door for few more minutes... My emotions are in turmoil… what have I done? Maybe I should talk to my sister… I have not spoke to her yet..

'Ven?'

'Ann! How are you? Where are you?'

'I am good… did my number appear on your mobile?' I am using the office number given. I am going to foot a hefty phone bill… that is for sure.

'Yes… I will use this incase of emergency.. are you coming online soon?'

'Yes… give me half an hour.'

'See you… I have something for you.'

'Ok Ven… see you on Skype..'

I hang up and head to the bath… I wonder what she has for me… Karthi? Shit.. I have not called him… After a quick wash up, before connecting my Skype, I called Karthi… it is 10 at night.. so should be 4 there… he might be out of training. No harm trying.

Ringg ring…. Ringgg ring…. Ring…

'Helo?'

'Karthi?'

'Ana… how are you?'

'I am fine… I arrived today morning. I was busy getting things sorted out. I just finished everything and now going to go to bed.'

'Good thing then… Good night .. sweet dreams… '

'Bye Karthi..' and click. He never give any details on his stuff… just a how are you.. and good night. I decide not to dwell much on Karthi… he has never really shared things…

'Hi Ven…' I greet my sister on Skype…

'Ann…. Wow… San Francisco suits you! I must come over…'

'Yea right…'

'Have you called your husband?'

'Yea… before Skype.. he just asked how are you.. and after I reply… he say good night.'

'Haih… alright… I have trailed him since Wednesday…'

'And?'

'He is always seen with a guy… even sharing a one bedroom apartment.'

'Shiva?'

'I am not sure… have not got the name yet. But he is definitely attending some sort of conference… training I don't know… he goes to work every day.'

'Fine.. Ven… I have to tell you something…'

'What?'

'I …'

'Ann… stop chewing… spill…'

'I met up with Christian…'

'You what!' I can see Ven almost fell from her chair.

'Is that fall for good or bad?'

'Ann! This is progress… finally my baby sister…'

'Stop stop stop… I just mailed him… and he appeared at my door step.'

'Like how he did at Singapore…'

'He flew from Seattle…'

'When did…'

'He is a jet owning stalker!'

I told her everything that Christian told me and she was very attentitive… finally she said,

'Ann.. I think you should really allow Christian into your life… Karthi's activity seems to be suspicious… I will definitely get something by Sunday. Which is tomorrow.'

'Hmmm .. I am going out with Christian… he wants to spend the day before leaving to Seattle.'

'Go on dear… Go out with him… have fun… '

'Ven… do you think I am betraying Karthi?'

'Hell no! You are not sleeping with him or what… you are just going out with a friend.'

'Okay Ven.. I will call you tomorrow…'

'Sure honey…'

I end the call.. I feel better that Ven is on my side…I throw the comforter over my head and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

'Good morning Anastasia….'

'Christian is standing in front of me wearing a black jeans and a grey t-shirt. His hair is all tussled and he looks adorable and lovable…

'Hi..' I replied with a big smile.

I am wearing dark grey sheer blouse with my favorite blue jeans.

'You look cute Anastasia…'

'Thanks… shall we?'

'Sure… '

We left after I locked the door. Again the big SUV is waiting for us and Taylor is dressed in navy blue business suit and looks all business..

'Good morning Ms Steele…'

'Good morning Taylor…' I smile back at him and Taylor returned a small smile back.

We got into the car and we head for breakfast… Christian has been attentive to all my needs and request… instead of planning out the outing, he was more concerned on what I want to do. I wanted to go on the Bay Cruise Adventure… the moment I told him, there was a spark in his eyes.

'I was hoping you would want to go on that cruise… we can have lunch on the ship.'

During lunch, I found out that Christian never had a girlfriend… I started to wonder if he is gay… but the way he kissed is totally not gay type… argh..

'Why you never had a girlfriend? You are rich… you are handsome… why?'

Christian is looking at me… but his expression is so confusing… he looks scared… agonized, dark, pained… why….

'Anastasia… do you remember our conversation that we had during breakfast… the first time…

I tried squeezing my brain… ding!

_'Do you have a dungeon that you use to torture woman and you want to show that to me?'_

'You have a dungeon?' I ask quietly… does he torture woman…

'Anastasia… I hope you will listen to me… and do not … again… do not conclude anything about me until I finish.'

'I won't… ' I gave him my word.

'I am into BDSM relationship…' he replies quietly…

BDSM? He tor… ops.. I can't conclude anything…

'Consented?'

' Yes… Anastasia… you are the only person on this planet… who knows my activity… without me asking you to sign a NDA.'

'NDA? Why? Because you are rich and well known?'

'Yes… if the media gets this information, I am doomed…'

'Your secret is safe with me… I reply him honestly… I won't breath this information to anyone.'

'I can see your honesty in your eyes Ana…'

We continued talking about his activities and about his subs… he was very open about it to me. It is almost dinner time when he told me about his mother… I am taken back on how he was left with his mother's dead body for four days.

During dinner, he fills me with his adoptive family.

'Grace.. my adoptive mother – she is a very caring person… she lvoes me dearly.. she loves all of us dearly.. but I still can't let her to touch me… I am still having fear of touch…'

'I touched you…'

'As I said, you are different… you bring out emotions and feelings that I never felt before… I don't feel to control you… '

'Christian… I have learned so much about you… I appreciate that you trust me with your darkest secrets… I will guard it with my life. I feel that I know you better now… but still you are a stalker with a jet…' I finish with a smile…

'What if…. I say I have a helicopter as well.'

I shake my head in disbelieve… 'What for?'

'Hey… those are things that I like…'

'Boys and their toys!' I say before polishing my drink. It is a very beautiful day and I enjoyed it..

Once we reach my house, Christian waited at the door. When I invited him,

'No Ana… I must leave… I am afraid if I am alone with you again, I might not be able to stop myself from burying myself into you… I don't want to do that… I respect your space… you are still married. I will only touch you… if you are willing… '

I just couldn't hold myself anymore… I hugged Christian encircling my arm around his neck and my eyes started tearing…

'Christian… you are so special… you are not like any man that I have met before… I appreciate that you are respecting my boundaries… I wish I met you before meeting Karthi…' I said… it just slipped from my lips.

'Anastasia… good night baby… sweet dreams… I will be leaving early morning tomorrow.. I have to get back to Seattle. My mother insist that we have a family lunch tomorrow.'

'It's okay Christian… I am grateful that you have taken some time off your hectic schedule to spend time with me … I will be fine. I have to go to office tomorrow. Even I am under training, I still need to fly… but short haul… I am getting my schedules tomorrow…'

'Do you need a driver…'

'No Christian, the company driver will be picking me up… along with two other trainees who will be in this building.'

'Be safe sweet Ana…' and he kisses me deeply… I am just lost in his kiss. After saying goodbye heavy heartedly, I lock the doors and head straight to the bathroom for a hot shower.

I log in to Skype and my sister is there… walking around in her room… when she sees me she dashes to the computer..

'What took you so long?' she asks…

'I got back half an hour ago and took shower before logging in… Why?'

'Ann… I want you to calm down.. this is a shock to me… but I am over it.. but I hope.. you will take it calmly…'

'Why… what happen? What shocked you?'

'Karthi…' her voice is now quiet…

'What's with him?' hit by a bus? Got caught by the police?

'He is… ummm' she looks like looking for something… searching on the screen…

She started clicking and I am not so sure what she is doing.

'What are you doing?'

'I am emailing you something… check that…'

A minute later, my gmail pings… I click open the mail from Vennessa… to my horror… Karthi is hugging and being kissed by that darn Shiva! Arghhhh!

'Ven…'

'Ann… your sister in law was right… Karthi is a gay.. he is with Shiva…'

'Are you sure…'

'I hate to say this baby sister… but it is true…'

Vennessa filled me in with how she got the information… one of her friend befriended Karthi and Shiva and her friend happens to be gay. And they started exchanging information… Karthi and Shiva admitted that they are in a relationship. Even Shiva is married but his wife is working with a telecommunication company and based in India. They are married just to hide their sexual preference..

'I can't believe Karthi would do this to me… it is more than 15 years… and he has hid his preference…'

'What should I do now?'

I am totally lost and I have no one to turn to except Vennessa… another Skype invite comes in… its Varsha..

We are now in conference…

'Hi darling Sister in law… and sister of sister in law…'

'Hey.. Call me Venn… you can call her sis..'

'Call me Ana, Vasha… so what brought you online..'

'Right… Venn… Ana… I have done my own research… Shiva and Karthi always wanted to work together and they wanted to go to for the training together…'

'Varsha… I have found proof that he is a gay.' Venn fills Varsha…

'I knew it!' she screams…

'Hey.. guys… it's my life here… what should I do…'

'Ana… you don't need to worry about anything…' Varsha starts… and Ven cuts in..

'Ana… divorce him!'

'Yes..' Varsha says..

'Hey.. I love him…'

'He loves Shiva…' they say in unison.

They have a point.

'Ana… you don't worry a bit… we will do something .. I will plan something … when will you be coming back to Singapore?'

'I am not sure… I have not got the schedule but I believe in another two months time…'

'Fine… email me the dates. I will make sure Karthi is back at the same time… and we can confront him… I will plan everything out…'

'Hmm…'

'Ann… it is a good idea… Varsha.. she will be there… I will personally make sure of it.'

'Fine…'

'Okay.. I got to go… by sisterssss' Varsha logs off.

'Ann… Since it is all confirmed… I think you should carry on with your life… forget Karthi..'

'I feel betrayed… cheated..'

'I know honey… come on… let Christian into your life… it might just turn out something you have been waiting for…'

'I need time to think about it… I just feel crushed… depressed… sad.'

'Is Christian still in town…'

'Yes..'

'Do you…'

'No… I must deal with this myself… he is flying to Seattle tomorrow early morning… I don't want running to him about my personal life… '

'Ann… I just hope I can be there with you now…'

'I will be fine Venn…'

We bid good bye.. after shutting the computer down, I just sat on the bed. Karthi… betrayed me.. used me as a cover to cover his damn preference… Gay.. but he managed very well to hide it.. I just feel numb all over.. my hand reached my phone and dialed…

'Hello?'

* * *

_**Who do you think Ana called? Any guess anyone?**_


	21. Chapter 21 - Ana's Emotional Attack

'Helo?'

'Chrsitian…' and I start sobbing… I just could not control my tears. The reality finally started kicking in.

'Anastasia… what is wrong? Why are you crying?'

'Christian… I am sorry… I just dialed a number blindly… I didn't mean to disturb you…' but my tears are flowing uncontrollably.

'Ana… I will come over shortly….'

'No..'

'See you soon…' click… What kind of dumb idiot I am… Why did I call him… stupid Ana… as usual. Your stupidity has caused your life… your blindness caused your life… you are married to a gay.. who managed to portray himself as a good supportive husband… just to hid is ack behavior… I just sit and stare at my computer… I just can't get rid of the image of those two gays hugging and kissing.

I hear a loud banging on my door.. hmmm it's Christian. I open the door and he is there with worried written all over his face…

'Anastasia…'

'Christian' after seeing him there… I just burst out crying. He was quick to hold me and guide me to the living room after locking the door.

'Anastasia… what happen… why are you crying?'

'Christian… Karthi…'

* * *

The most agononising 10 minutes' drive that I had… Why is Ana crying? Anyone broke in? Anyone hit her? My PI has not said anything… and yet to receive report from Australia… upon knocking the door, Ana burst into tears after seeing me at her doorstep. I held her close and close the door before sitting her at her sofa… I leave her for few minutes to get some cold water. After sitting beside her, I hand her the water.

'Anastasia… drink this.' She looks at the water and me… without uttering a single word, she takes the glass from me and drank it… I let her to compose herself. Few minutes later, her crying has subsided and there is just a soft sniffing.

'Now… what happen to Karthi?'

'He is a gay!' she blurts out. Finally the sister of hers found out… I knew from my latest report that her sister's friend who is a gay has befriended Ana's husband and his partner. The whole day with her, I manage to forget the disturbing images but now looking at how broken Ana is, I think they both deserve my fist.

'Anastasia… you should have seen the signs…'

'Don't rub salt to wound… '

'Sorry… so.. how did you find out?'

Ana told me about her whole Skype conversation with her sister and sister in law… Ana is very lucky to have such supportive sisters with her.

'What is your next step?'

'I am going to apply for a divorce…'

'And then?' will you be with me? I added to myself.

'I am not sure… I have to sort this out…'

'Why not .. you confront him? Since you have proof.'

'He lied.. he betrayed my trust… he cheated on me.. he cheated me with another MAN! ' now she is not sad.. but angry. Angry is better than sad. She stands abruptly and started pacing her room.

'if I could get my hands on him now… I can just rip his esophagus with his stomach attached to it and put it around his neck like a garland!' I can see her anger but she looks cute even when she tries to sound brutal!

'Anastasia… anger will not help… you are at a cross path in your life… what are you going to do.. that is more important. But Ana… looking at you, I think you should sleep on this matter.. don't decide anything now..' What the heck am I saying… I could easily manipulate her to ditching her husband and be with me.

'_You care for Anastasia a lot Christian… she will come to you when the time is right…' _Flyinn's words crosses my mind.

'Yes… you are right… I should not decide anything.. but I am just too broken.'

'I can see that… come here..' I held my hand out. Obediently she takes my hand and sits beside me. I just hold her and she rested her head against my chest. I can feel my heartbeat quickens but she seems to be confortable. Her arms found its way to encircle my waist. I can hear her sniffing… softly she started saying, 'I was so faithful to him… he was my everything… I shared every moment of my life with him… I thought by marrying him.. we will be one.. but he has been using me as a blanket to hide his other life… the life that he prefers…'

I just didn't know what to say. She is so broken and vulnerable… maybe I should just cancel my flight and stay with Anastasia..

'He looks so comfortable with that man touching him. He never actually held my hand… or kissed me on my lips… you are the only one man who have kissed me ..'

I just need to leave now.. else I might just put her down and make love to her… it might help…I hold her face with both my palms and look into her eyes… her eyes screams – upset, sad, betrayed, broken, hurt. if only I can kiss all her sorrow away… I will do it. Her eyes are always lively, vibrant and happy… I can see her happiness in her eyes… but it is all dull now… lifeless.

She continued staring at my eyes and I can see that she is searching for something…

'Christian… maybe I just don't deser..' I know at that moment I must stop her from thinking anything stupid… I crush my lips on her… she needs love now more that anything else. Ana did not push me away.. instead her arm which was encircling my waist has made its way to my chest… another arm of her running through my hair and I think I will explode just with her touch. She parts her lips and I took full advantage of it… I have already pinned her on her sofa… I slowly massaged her bosom and she moans…

_Hey… control… don't loose it! _ my subconscious brings me to conscious… I break the kiss slowly but my lips is still inches away. I whisper… 'Ana… no.. we can't continue… you are just upset… I am here.. I will company you… but not take advantage of your vulnerability.'

She looks lost… rejected.

'You hate me don't you..' she whispers… again.. tears threatening to pour out..

'No Anastasia.. I don't hate you… I love you…' oh.. I said it… that I love her… how can I say I love her.. I don't know how to love..

'I am sorry Christian… I should not have called you… I am sor…

'Ana.. no.. I am glad you called me.. I am glad I was here during your emotional breakdown..'

'Christian..' and she kissed me… it was a very hungry kiss… but before I oculd devour the kiss, she breaks it..

'Christian… thank you… I appreciate it..' I sit up.. and she stands straightening up herself.

'Ana… I would like to stay.. but I am afraid I might lose control again.. and something beyond just now will happen…'

'I understand.. thank you for being here… I am sorry you have to see the worst of me..'

'Anastasia… if you need to talk… please call me… don't hesitate.'

She nods… looks like she has recovered slightly after the kiss.. maybe that is what she need to get herself together and put her mind straight to think what she needs to do next. She walks with me to the door and before she close it, ' Anastasia… are you sure you will be alright?'

'Hmm.. I will be fine… I am sorry… I just throw myself to you… that is so… argh of me..'

I chuckle … she is so cute with her expressions…

'I will call you before I leave…'

'Christian… I will be fine… I want to just sleep… I will call you when I am ready to face the world… after the humiliation of being married to a gay.' I can hear the bitterness in her voice..

'Good night sweet Anastasia..'

'Good night Christian… have a safe journey back.'

* * *

What was I thinking? I actually kissed Christian back… I just wanted some comfort and Christian is there comforting me… but I need to get my act back. I can't keep Christian here … he has his family waiting for him. After sending him off, I walk back to my now empty apartment. I throw myself onto my fluffy bed… I just need my sleep. I am not sure what time I dozed off but when I wake up in the morning, it was pretty bright. I check the night stand and it is eight… hmm I get up from the bed, make the bed, do some stretching. I walk like a machine to the bath and have a hot shower. I get dressed in a pink and grey stripe sweater and black jeans. After grabbing my bag, I am out of the door. The driver is waiting to take me to the airport.

'Good morning Ms Steele..'

'Hi morning… is it me alone or?'

'Oh.. the other two trainees are here… they will be joining us … as usual… ladies always takes time to get ready.'

Just as he finishes his sentence, two more ladies enters the car.

'Morning Ms Lenny, Ms Bade.'

'Hey.. morning!'

'This is Ms Steele… Ms Steele… Ms Lenny and Ms Bade…'

'Hi… morning.. I am Ana…'

'I am Kristie…' says Ms Lenny

'I am Shanda' says Ms Bade…

We chatted emptily until we reached airport. I have not recovered from the shocking news… Gay? When we reached, Kristie and Shanda wanted to grab something to eat. I am just not in the mood and I decided to decline and head straight to the office. I just want to collect my schedule and go back and lock myself in the house and sit in foront of the tv.

'Morning Ana…'

'Morning Amy… how are you?'

'I am fine… I came for the schedule…'

'Here … you will be flying out short hauls.. but since you are from Singapore… I have included Singapore flights so you can go back to visit your family. I also understand that you got married recently. The domestic flights will be with another airway so you will be getting your uniforms during your training.'

I nod at that bitter memory. I started looking through my schedule and I have a flight to Singapore in two weeks time… I should inform my sister and sister in law… after thanking Amy, I bump into Kristie and Shanda …

'Have you got yours?'

'Yes… I am walking back to the car. I will wait for you there…'

'Sure… see you shortly…' and they walk into the office. I walk back to the car and Hendricks is waiting there… reading the morning paper.

'Hendricks.. '

'Ms Steele… you are back fast…''

'Yea… Shanda and Kristie will be back shortly…'

I throw my glance at the departure hall… I wonder if Christian would have reached Seattle… of course he would.. I pull out my phone and call him.

'Anastasia…' he answers on the first ring.

'Christian... have you landed?'

'Yes… I am at home… going through some paper work that I missed out.'

So sweet of him to fill me in with details… I never had Karthi telling me what he is doing.

'I just got my schedule. I am going to go back to the apartment shortly.'

'When are you flying out?'

'I have domestic and international flight. International is only to Singapore because I came from there. I believe your PI will inform you of it soon.. or maybe have told you.' I chuckle.. it is so difficult to be angry with Christian.

'Anastasia… I will check.. and I assure you that I have not got it yet.'

'Okay… two of the other trainees are coming back… I will call you later…'

'Anastasia.. are you okay?'

'Yes.. I feel better… '

'Take care baby…'

I end the call just as Kristie and Shanda reaches by my side…

'Boyfriend uh…' Kristie says.

'No Kristie… I am married… I was just calling a friend of mine.'

On the way, Shanda and Kristie manage to change my mind from sitting and rot at home to going out to club with them before we bury ourselves with work and training.

* * *

I am wearing my purple glittering dress with a black platform. I used slightly heavy makeup. I am just to upset to look like how I always do.. I just need to do something bad!

'Ana… you look lovely… oh my… you are just beautiful… I think all the men will be having a feast with their eyes… I wonder if anyone will be lucky.' Kristie said…

'Shut up!'

We went to a local bar. I ordered orange juice and just sat watching both of them having fun. It is half an hour and this man is trying hard to take me back.. I just can't tolerate his idiotic remarks on my look. I frantically look around hoping the damn PI is somewhere around. At that moment my phone rings… I check the caller id, it is Christian.

'Christian!' I yell…

'Anastasia… the PI is outside. Make your way out and he is there in black shirt and black pants.. he will come to you and call you Ms Steele. Follow him back. That bastard who is trying to get into your dress will be handled later on. Do you understand?'

'Yes…' I grab my purse and baby run out of the club. The man who is hitting on me followed closely.

'Hey.. cuttie… baby… come to papa…'

'Get off my heels…' I yell back and the PI was there waiting for me.

'Ms Steele..'

'Yeah… its..'

'He will be handled separately.. let's get you home first.'

I hope into a car and we drove back to my apartment. After locking myself in the house, I text Kristie and Shanda informing them that I am back home and I will see them tomorrow during training. I walk to the bathroom and scrub off all the make up and put on my comfy t-shirt and called Christian.

'Christian…'

'Anastasia.. what are you thinking? Why did you ever go to that club? It is not you!'

'I know… I just felt numb and I wanted to get my mind off everything. When…

'I know… they invited you and you followed… honey… I know it is not your fault…baby.. please… there are beast out there.. and a naïve girl like you out there… it is dangerous.'

'Sorry Christian…'

'It's okay…'

'Aren't you at your parents' house?'

'Yes… I walked out to the backyard to take your call… this is a first… and when I walk back, everyone will be asking why I went out to pick the call.'

'Oh.. I am sorry to put …'

'Anastasia… don't worry… you are more important to me. Tomorrow is your first day of training. Keep a clear head. I will call you tomorrow… okay baby?'

'Okay Christian.'

I hang up… as promised, I logon to Skype waiting for Ven… she was ten minutes late and it is no big issue…

'Hey baby sister… how are you coping?'

'I got my schedule today…'

'Cut the crap… what did you last night?'

'I accidently called Christian…'

'Did you do it?'

'No… we just kissed… I think I needed that badly…'

'Anastasia… get rid of Karthi and carry on with Christian… he is having a gala time here.'

'Hmmm anyway… I will be flying to Singapore in two weeks' time… I must inform Varsha…'

'You do that… and we will come up with a plan … so you can confront Karthi and get over it.'

'Sure… love you sis…'

'Love you… and mom and dad sent their regards…'

'Send mine back.'

Tomorrow I hope will be a better day.


	22. Chapter 22 - Ana's Refreshed Life

_**Thank you to all my faithful followers and readers and reviewers... also not to forget few people whom you know who it is... who asked me to ignore some 'guest reviewer who called me a twelve year old moron' i am taking the advise... anyway... **_

_**Dear 'guest' reviewer... if you review, without logging in.. then you don't have the guts to face me... and if you understand the story line... then you won't say i am with a very low IQ... so since here.. you did not understand the story line.. i am sorry but I think you have a very low IQ and I am a Indian woman as well for your information. Anyway.. thank you so much for reading up to chapter 21. **_

* * *

'Anastasia… Good Morning baby…' Christian's voice fills my eardrum like music.

'Good morning… I am just getting ready for my class.' I glance at my clock and it shows 7.

'I know… I wanted to hear your voice before you get busy with classes…'

'Awww… I thought of calling you later at night…'

'I am flying to New York for some business meetings for few days… maybe about 3 days.. If I can get everything tied up, then I will be back early.'

'Tied up ahh…' I remember his sexual lifestyle… _better than your husband! _

Christian laughs… it is such a beautiful sound..

'Alright Christian… you have a safe trip and don't get tied up…'

'Ana!'

'Wait… with work!' I laugh…

'Okay… aren't you late…'

'I will be if I don't hang up now…'

'Take care Ana… and.. please stay focused…'

'Christian.. That is so sweet of you. Don't worry. I woke up very refreshed… I am focused… I know what I have to do… and I have a supportive sister.' I am focused and my mind is made up. I have decided what I want to do.

'My sweet Ana… okay.. you better get going. I will text you to arrange Skype after I have landed. It is about six hours flight… I should be arriving around 1.30 your time..'

'Sure.. I will be waiting for your text…'

'I love you Ana' he whispers… Oh my. Christian… I am just tongue tied.. I don't know what to say.

'Anastasia…'

'Christian… it is too early for me…'

'I understand… but I want you to know that I have fallen in love with you… '

'Christian… take care…'

'Bye baby.'

'Bye Christian..'

We hang up and I stare at the phone. He loves me… is he the one? I did have an instant attraction to him… I have known him… from my those dreams.. Is it destiny? I glance at the clock and quickly gather my things and hurry out to the waiting van. The day passed through uneventful.

My trainer, Celine, is a wonderful woman with full of grace and elegance. The way she carries herself shows that she is a true airhostess. Our first day training started with all seven of us, the trainees, introducing ourselves and a brief description on how we started our career and the types of flights we have been through. We also shared our experience about worst passenger and best passenger. It took all my strength from talking about Christian… my best passenger… I smile to myself about that thought.

We break for lunch at 12.30. I pull out my phone hopping to see a sms from Christian but instead, there is one from Karthi. My blood started to boil… I am past sadness.. it is angry now.

_Hi.. how are you doing? I am well settled at Sydney and_

_training is progressing well. I am sorry that I have not_

_spend more time talking to you but the training is taking_

_up a lot of time. This is my Australian number. Call anytime_

_you want. I will be flying down to Singapore when I have longer_

_breaks. I will let you know. Hope we can meet up…_

Huh…. Well settled.. I bet you are.. is it the training or your relationship is progressing well… yah.. obviously your 'training' will take up more time… at least he has the courtesy to give me his Australian number. Meet up.. yah… maybe. I quickly type out a reply.

_I am glad that you are well settled now. I hope your_

_training will go on well. I will call you later… maybe you_

_could fix a time so it won't interrupt your schedule or_

_sleeping time. I will let you know when I will be flying_

_to Singapore._

There… no see you.. nothing… but it might not make much differences. I started with my lunch anticipating Christian's sms. Just before I start my afternoon session, my long awaited sms appears.

_'Hi Anastasia… I have landed and on my way to the hotel._

_I have started to miss you already. Is ten your time is_

_too late for a skype session? Let me know…_

Oh… sweet of him. I quickly type out my reply agreeing to his timing and walk into the training room. My thoughts are filled with Christian's smile and laughter… I floated through the training because it was a screening session where we were showed the do's and don't handing passengers in flight…

After the training was over, Kristie and Shanda wanted to explore on how to get to the apartment by public transport… I excused myself and took the company provided van to go back as I know my way at San Francisco…

At home, I make myself a cup of hot tea and sit with the day's paper and started flipping. I left the balcony door open for some fresh air… I have started to like this apartment… it feels home. About seven, I had a nice cold shower. After putting on my sweats and t-shirt, I grab Sense and Sensibility and walk to my kitchen. I cooked a simple stirfry chicken and throw some bread on the plate and started munching my food. As I finish my food, my phone buzzes. It is my sister asking me to connect to Skype… conference with Varsha… I guess these two are more excited in my life then anyone else.. _besides Christian…_

I wash and clean my kitchen and switch off all the lights. I sit at my study table and tap my fingers calmly waiting for Skype to connect… As I get connected and can see Varsha and Ven are busy talking.

Varsha : My friend has seen both of them… odd places. Not work related.

Vennessa : They frequent to one of the gay clubs here.. that is how my friend caught them.

Anastasia : Heyy… I am here…

V & V : HEY!

Varsha : Grandma misses you… mom also was asking me if I have contacted me… I told them you need time to settle down.

Anastasia: Yah.. my bad… I should have called them when I arrived.

Varsha : Don't worry… my idiotic brother also didn't call until Saturday.

I chuckle… so Karthi like… his work is more important.

Anastasia : Ok listen… I started my training today. I got my schedule yesterday. I am flying down to Singapore in two weeks. I should be touching down on 1st September early morning.

Vennessa : Jolly good… I will fly down to see you… I am on semester break and parents are going to Gold Coast.

Varsha : That is nice.. we can meet. Ana .. are you going to stay with us or your apartment.

Anastasia : I will stay with you guys but will drop by my apartment. Ven you can stay at my apartment.

Vennessa : Sure.. I had that in mind.

Varsha : Karthi should be coming down.

Anastasia : He texted me in the afternoon.. .giving me his Australian number and he said that he will be coming to Singapore when he have long breaks.

Varsha: I hope it will be the same time you are here…

Vennessa : That is sweet of him to text you… I wonder where he found the time.

Hmm that is her sarcastic tone… and I love it now.

Anastasia : Okay… I have a long day tomorrow… Varsha.. just let me know how you are going to bring Karthi's preference to the light. I have made up my mind with what I want to do.

Varsha : And what do you want to do?

Anastasia : I want a divorce and apply for a transfer to San Francisco Office. I want to be based here and find a life here.

I can see Vennessa is smiling… that sister of mine… she sure knows why I am doing it.

Varsha : I am sad to see you guys are ending your marriage… but I also feel that your decision is the best thing to do. I got to go… see you guys another time… can't wait to see you all here in two weeks time.

Vennessa : Bye dear.

Anastasia : Bye…

And she logs off leaving me with Ven.

'So my darling baby sister… how is your Christian?'

'He is fine… he has gone to New York today but he called me before boarding. He also text me after landing. He will be back in three day's time. But he is two hours away from me… by flight.'

'That is nothing for a jet owning stalker' she laughs…

'Ven… '

'Ann.. he might just land at San Francisco on his way back… how nice if I can have a jet and fly around…'

'Ven.. you are impossible. Anyway.. I am hitting the sac now.. ' I told her… I do feel tired.. after all the crying and anger radiated from me. I started looking at world in a new perspective.'

'Good for you honey. Mail me when you will be online again.'

'Sure… take care Ven..' and she also disappeared in the cyber world. I glance at the clock and it is 9.45… Christian should be online any time so I decided to just sit on my desk and continue my book. Few minutes later, I get my Skype invite from Christian.

'Anastasia…'

'Hi Chrsitian…'

'Are you waiting up for me?'

'Yes… I just finished talking to my sister…'

'Had your dinner?'

'Yes I did… how about you?'

'I just wrapped up a meeting. I just want to see you before continuing work.'

'Christian.. it's late… why not you go have some dinner with Taylor and sleep?'

'Anastasia… I function with less sleep… '

'Stalking Zombie..'

'Jet owning Stalking Zombie' he laughs..

'Christian.. I need to sleep… I feel tired…'

'Good night sweet Ana… sweat dreams…'

'Night night…'

'I love you…' he smiles… oh.. I could just melt at his smile…

'Take care of yourself and don't get tied up…' I smirk..

Finally we disconnect the Skype and I shut my laptop. Phew… This is refreshing… having someone caring for you… loving you… I drifted into peaceful sleep. My routine was some sort fixed, morning till evening at training. I called my in-laws to inform my schedules and arrival to Singapore in September. My mother in law seem to be pleased and she assured that the driver will be there to pick me up. After the call, I shoot an email to Monica informing my Singapore trip and also asked her about her schedule. Few minutes after my mail, she replied that she will be arriving at San Francisco on Wednesday. So with that we concluded that we will be on the same flight back to Singapore. That is something familiar and refreshing. I have spared the details of my disastrous marriage. I will fill her in when I see her. Usually, once at home, I fix dinner and wait for Christian to come on Skype. We tell each other how our day was and him telling me that he loves me is something new to me.. and I like it. Christian's meeting is extended for another day and he will be back on Friday early morning. I am flying to London with Virgin Atlantic Friday evening … when I break the news to him,

'Anastasia… can I see you before you fly off..'

'Christian? I can't come to SEATac…'

'My jet is doing a two hour stop at San Francisco.' He replies quietly. I could only nod.

'I will see you in the morning Ana…'

'Good night Christian…'

Oh.. I am going to see Christian after five days… in flesh and blood. I look at the uniform hanging. Virgin Atlantic's uniform is a red knee length pencil skirt with white blouse and a red blazer finished with a purple neck scarf. The shoes are also red. We got it during our training today. I hope I won't look too pale in it. _You always look pale!_

* * *

I just can't sleep and it is only four. Christian will be arriving at six and promised to take me out for breakfast before flying back to Seattle. There is nothing much you could do with at two hour stop anyway. I just can't shut my eyes anymore so I decided to go for a jog within the apartment complex. A good one hour jog and a nice bath would do well before Christian arrives. I strip and change into my work out gear and tie my hair into a high pony tail and started my jogging routine. I am not sure how long I have been running around and suddenly I notice a black SUV in front of my apartment. I recognize it is the type that Christian uses. I jog slowly and he emerges from the back of the SUV wearing a nice blue suite. I just don't understand how he can afford to look yummy even at wee hours.

'Christian!' I jog faster to him and he is standing there smiling broadly …

'What a sight awaiting me…'

'I couldn't sleep so I decided to run for a while and shower before you reach.'

'I couldn't wait longer so I manage to reschedule my flight and I arrived 45 minutes earlier… I have to see you.'

'Come up..' I call him and walk up with him to my apartment… I just feel so comfortable with Christian. I don't feel any awkwardness anymore.

'Make yourself home..i will just shower and get ready… then we can go breakfast…' I told him once inside. He holds my wrist and tugs me to him where I stumble onto him.

'Before that..' he says and kisses me like his life depends on the kiss. I kissed him back… I just feel like I need to kiss him back. My hands has circled his neck and he holding me around my waist. I tiptoed to match his towering height. We break the kiss after what it felt like eternity.

'Be quick' he says and smacks my back..

'Auch..' I rub my now stinging back and smile back. I bite my lips and slowly walk back to my room. After a cold shower, which is what I need after a hot kiss, I dress into my black singlet top and pink skirt… it is kind of hot anyway I say to myself.

'I am ready…'

'You look cute…'

'Thanks.. shall we? I am starving.'

'Come on..'

We walk down and Taylor drives us for breakfast… it would be nice if I could spend everyday I with Christian.

During breakfast, I break the news to him…

'Christian… I have to fly out today…'

'Where?" he asks and there is an alarm in his voice.

'London… with Virgin..'

'Why?'

'Part of my training…'

'Anastasia… must you go?'

'Yes Christian..' I feel like talking to a child…

'Ana… I wanted to ask you something…'

* * *

_**Any guess anyone? What is Christian going to ask?**_


	23. Chapter 23 - Ana at Singapore

_**Dear Faithful readers and followers - Thank you so much for the reviews and messages... Sorry for the late update - Just tied up at work.**_

_** .587 - I have wrote to you.. Again.. My sincere apologies. It is just to show how annoyed Ana is.**_

_**I hope everyone else will enjoy this chapter.**_

_**Guest **__**3/22/13 . chapter 22**_

I don't want to argue with you. It is your story, you have the right to do whatever you want or whatever you can with it.  
I was hoping with my "harsh" words to provoke you to move the story, to make it more dynamic, to wake up your Anna from the state of being an austrich with a head deep in the sand. Why did it take 21 chapters for your Ana to realize that Karthi is gay? Even you have to admit the signs were there from the very first chapters, you yourself put them there? How intelligent is to ignore them? It was pretty obvious to the readers, as you see from the reviews.  
Please, don't portray indian women as morons who can not put two and two together! This is by far more offensive than my comments.

_**Again... as You said - this is my story.. and i can do whatever i want. Your harsh words did not provoke me because I know what to do with my story. And again.. Thank you for reading.**_

* * *

'Ana… I wanted to ask you something…'

'Yes Christian….'

'I need to know something… very important.' I must trash it out to her before I lose my mind.

'Spill Christian…' she says before taking a bite of her chocolate muffin. She looks very comfortable eating unlike some women I know who are afraid of food. They eat food like birds!

'Anastasia… what have you decided? What are you going to do about your marriage?''

She moves her gaze from the muffin to me and simply says, 'Divorce' and takes another bite. She looks so relaxed and it is not the same girl I saw few days ago..

'Simply like that?'

'Yes… I have decided.' And she continues until her muffin finishes.

'Anastasia… '

'Yes Christian…'

'I love you…'

XXXX

I know he loves me… I think I love him too.. but I just can't bring myself to say it… I have so much to sort out before even I give room to another man in my life… which I sincerely think it is Christian.

'Christian.. '

'I just want to know Anastasia… do you love me or not? You look happy when I am with you… you are happy to talk to me… you enjoy my company.' Christian presses harder… his voice is desperate and hoping. I don't want to break his heart… but I am totally broken. I need glue myself together before proceeding with anything in my life. Oh dear… he is so very right. I enjoy him – literally speaking.

'Christian I need time… '

'I need to know.. ' his eyes are hard and cold… demanding an answer.

'Can I tell…'

'Now Anastasia.' It is more of a command with a stronger voice… and it does things to me but I must make Christian understand where I stand.

'Christian, you brought fresh wind .. You blew me of my feet. I like you… I love your company. You were there for me at my worst time… like I said… I like you. But love… I can't think of it at the moment. My plate is full… I have to empty it before I fill it with you.' I say quietly.

Christian looks hurt, in pain. He closes his eyes for few seconds… I reach to his hand and place my palm on his hand.

'I am not saying I won't… but I can't… I need to confront Karthi… His family needs to know. I want him to have his own life.. and I need to have mine. If he wants to have a homosexual relationship, he is free to do it… and I don't want to be his cover. I have to come out of it. Mentally I am out but not on papers… And if I want to be with you, I don't want my baggage accompanying me. I want to come to you clean.. Without any attachment. '

'And what you want to do?'

'I am not sure yet' I lied… I have planned out what to do with Varsha and my sister and there is no way I am not going to share the details with anyone…

'So it's two more weeks… until I can hold you.'

'Yes… will you wait for me…' I look up to him. I do hope he will wait… I want him to wait.

'Anastasia… I waited for you for eight months… another two weeks will not do any harm but after that, can I have you for myself?'

* * *

There I have said it… I want her and I have said it. I can see her eyes widen and seconds later, it softens and I can see her happiness in her eyes.

'Can I?' I press her but with a very soft tone.

'Christian… Two more weeks.' She smiles after a long agonizing 5 minutes silence. She thinks to hard in her pretty little head.

'Anastasia.. you just don't know how much I want to be with you… how happy I am just to see you… ' After polishing our breakfast, I drive Anastasia back and Taylor secretly manage to move my flight to three in the afternoon. I just need to spend more time with Anastasia before she flies off. I might only see her after two more weeks. Two whole bloody week! Damn… I can fly to Singapore … but she might not like it. Argh.. this woman is driving me crazy.

* * *

'Christian… I am boarding the plane in another ten minutes.'

'Anastasia… I have tried to squeeze you for information but you have not breathed anything on how you are going to handle the situation.'

'Don't worry Christian. I know what I am doing. I have spoken to my trainer.. Just before you came. I am extending my stay in Singapore and will only be back on Friday. I want to come back to States without anything tying me down…'

I call Christian from San Francisco International Airport before I board Singapore Airline bound to Changi Airport. It was a wonderful Friday before I flew to London. Christian stayed with me until I boarded the plane. He called me upon my return to San Francisco and we did lots of Skype chat. Christian was very attentive to me and made sure I had my meals on time. Karthi did call me few times in the week, more like just to say 'Hi… I am alive…' . Once I tried to tell him how much I miss him and love him but he just shrugs it off with his updates of work and how much he is learning and progressing. I just let a huge sigh… I return to present.

'I understand Ana… I want you to be my Ana…'

'One week.…' I smile. He has made it very clear that he wants to be with me.. I am not sure if I am just going to be his girlfriend or he might want to proceed to the next level. But at the moment, I am just happy that he wants me… I can't go through another marriage. I need time to find myself. After a long goodbye, we walk to my gate where I have to board my plane to my personal hell.

* * *

'Sahana… how are you?' Karthi's mother greets me when I arrive at wee hours of September first.

'Hello Aunty… why are you still awake?'

'I wanted to see you… make sure you arrive in one piece… Varsha is arriving early morning tomorrow.'

'Yea.. she did tell me she is meeting me… and I will be here for the whole week.'

'That is good honey… we do miss you here… do you want something before you go to bed?' Karthi's mother asks me and we have walked up to the stairs.

'No.. I am fine… I just want to have shower and sleep. It is tiring to fly from San Francisco…' while thinking of Christian's reaction when I return to US.

'Your father in law have checked the internet line… it is fine.. if you want to use it, this is the password. Your father in law asked to pass it to you.'

I take the piece of paper she is holding and surprisingly she envelops me into a big hug an says, 'it is really nice to have you at home.'

I smile back to her and head to my room. It is exactly like how I left it few weeks ago. Nothing has changed… but I know it is about to change… I hookup my computer to the internet and wait patiently for my gmail to load. As I hit the compose button, Christian comes online and buzz me

CG: Hi Anastasia…

AS: Hi Christian… I just reach home. I just logged in to send you an email.

CG: I roughly estimated what time you will be online and my calculation is accurate.

AS: Oh… I thought you have someone to tail me… LOL

CG: Anastasia… there is no one tailing you at the moment. I have asked the PI to stop tailing you.

AS: Oh… thanks Christian… thanks for the trust.

CG: When will you be coming online?

AS: I am not sure. I will mail you when I am ready. I have a battle to fight starting tomorrow.

CG: Good Luck Anastasia… and I love you.

AS: Take care Christian… don't stay up too long okay… get proper sleep.

CG: I am missing you already..

AS: I miss you too Christian. I was thinking about you the whole journey back.

CG: That is a progress… Was I good?

AS: Yes.. very good indeed… Alright.. I got to go… I will email you to inform when I will be online.

CG: Bye Ana…

AS: By Christian.

After sending a quick email to my sister informing my arrival, I shut down the laptop and hop to the bathroom for a quick shower…

XXXX

I wear my red suit and put on the bindi which is norm for all Indian woman to wear on the forehead. A red powder which says "I AM MARRIED" or rather screams…

After breakfast, I sit in my room with a book but my mind is not registering a single word that I have read. My mind flies back to Varsha and Ven who promised to arrive this morning. A good half an hour later,

'Ana!' I hear Ven's voice at the room door. I look up and I think it is a wonderful sight to see Ven and Varsha with a very big smile.

'Oh it is so good to see you both..' I say.

'Yes.. come come…'

Both dumps their luggage on the floor and jumps on the bed to hug me.

* * *

'Karti is coming to visit tomorrow. He is going to be here for two days… it is so nice to have all of you here…' Karthi's mother announces during dinner. That is perfect… three of us have discussed our plans and we are ready to stage our little play. I am in a saree because we just got back from the temple. It is good to have a peaceful quiet time to myself.

'That is wonderful… hey Ann.. How come you did not tell us?' Vennesa starts her play.

'I don't know, he has not called me for a while.'

'Huh… why not?'

'I don't know… I guess he is busy with work.' I say with a mocking sad voice. I can see Varsha is trying very hard to keep her serious composure.

At the corner of my eyes, I can see Karthi's mother's face has changed from happy to sad to upset.

'He did not call you?'

'Few times aunty… '

'What?!'

'He is just busy aunty…' I fake a defense.

'Alright… I am done.. I just want to go to bed… when you two are done with whatever you are going to do, come and sleep quietly.' I said sternly hiding a smile… I know they will be preparing something for our next stunt.

I excuse myself after helping my mother-in-law. I am just trying to be a dutiful daughter in law until it last at least. In the room, after changing, I started going through my wedding pictures… pictures after pictures, my thoughts runs to my entire 15 years that I have known Karthi… he was everything at that time.. funny, caring, hardworking, puts everything before him… but not passionate.. sexy… or romantic. I decided to play my wedding CD to see how beautiful everyone was and how happy things were.

I am in a black saree to reflect my sadden mood since this evening after seeing all the photo's Ven got from spying on Karthi… he seems to be extremely happy and easygoing with his partner… maybe this is what he wants. Without me realizing, my eyes started to tear and it is free flowing. I just can't stop crying and when Ven and Varsha walks in, they had a shock.

'Ann… why are you crying?'

'Ana.. are you thinking about Karthi?'

'Yea… I really thought he is my life but looks like he prefers another life… I need time.. but I will get over it.' I say between sobs.

'You won't be able to get over him if you watch your wedding video or see your wedding photo.'

'Now… come… lets everyone calm down and run through if we have got everything right…'

'I can't … I just can't… please leave me alone.' I say and run to the balcony. The cold air hits my face like a million needles… I just can't let go the life I knew for the last 15 years… Even thinking of those pictures Ven sent me is making me sick. How could he betray my trust. I am just disappointed and feel like a failure. After how long I don't know, I walk back into the room and I can see they have finished their discussion and watching my wedding video CD. I don't think they will ever understand how I feel about Karthi. Once the CD is over, Varsha heads to her room and Ven plops beside me. She has decided to stay with me until Karthi returns. She wants to be here during the confrontation.

* * *

_**Confrontation and Confession coming up... stay tuned! Pintrest board updated.**_


	24. Chapter 24 - Confrontation & Confession

_**Dear Faithful followers! Finally - The chapter that everyone has been waiting for has been published. Chapter 24 - Confrontation and Confession. There is a full load of drama and I hope it is written well enough for everyone to enjoy it. Please feel free to share your view... All reviews appreciated.**_

* * *

I am sitting with Ven in the living room, going through some new story books that she brought from Australia. Ven is very good at picking good story books and she knows my taste. She brought some for me and we are discussing the plot. Suddenly, Varsha's voice, who is meddling with the Hi-Fi set, screeches across the living room.

'Hey Karthi! Welcome back!' Varsha yells as Karthi enters the front door. She runs to him and hugs him dearly… Seems like she really miss him and happy to see him.

'That is fake Ana… it is going to start…' Ven hisses at my ears. I look at myself, wrapped in my red and blue saree, I know I look like how I am supposed to look – a traditional Indian wife. Karthi's grandmother is extremely orthodox and traditional… she still wears her off white saree even at home. Varsha and Ven have taken matters into their own hands because I was so upset after going through my wedding pictures. They understood how much love I have for him… they actually cought me crying under my blanket last night.

'We will bring everything out to light Ana… but you must be firm with your decision… if you are not firm, I can assure you that mom and grand mom will talk you into staying in the marriage and you won't get a chance to move on.' Varsha informs me in way consoling me after Ven calls her to our room.

'Hi Sha… how are you?' he hugs her and looks at me. He smiles at me. I return his smile… a genuine smile. Maybe I could change him? Ven kicks my leg … she is sitting beside me and watching me all these while. My darling sister is very good at reading my face and she will always know what I am thinking… exactly.

'No you don't want him! He won't change!' she whispers.

'Hi Ana… how are you?' he walks to me but he did not make any effort to hug me or touch me. Just as I am about to reply him, his mother's voice echoes through the house.

'Karthi… my boy!' my mother in law walks out from the kitchen to hug him and he returns a small hug and detaches himself..

'I just need to shower… I will be back shortly. It was a tiring flight.' I get up to follow him but he stops me, 'No Ana… you carry on with you sister… I will be back in a bit.' He smiles warmly and heads up to his room. Karthi's mother mutters something like, 'What is wrong with the wife following him?'

I let go a huge sigh, being ignored by husband is something that is very hurting but what can I expect… Oh my… by the time I turn to Varsha, she has started to rummage through Karthi's luggage. She starting pulling out things from his bag and Karthi's mother started scolding her.

'Hey… he has a wife… why are you going through his things?'

'His wife is here just for the last two weeks… I am his sister for the last twenty years… I have more rights!' she says back but throws me a smile.. That girl…

'Noo… when'

I interrupted his mother before she misunderstands the whole situation.

'It's okay aunty… I don't mind… Varsha is like a sister to me too… ' I say sweetly and I can clearly see his mother is still upset..

'See mom… she don't mind… that is why I like my sister in law…' she replies but continued checking through the plastic bags and stuff. Karthi has come down after his shower looking fresh.

'Do you want something to eat?' I ask him and he replies with a sweet smile. 'No Ana… I had breakfast on board… I am still full. And Mom, I am going out for lunch. Meeting up my colleagues.' He then turns to Varsha and asks, 'Hey… What are you doing?'

Huh? Meeting friends? What about me?

'What did you buy for me?' Varsha asks him.

Before Karthi could open his mouth, his mother started to update him on all the relatives stuff and things that is not relatively important. I notice Venn and Varsha nod to each other and Varsha pulls out a shirt and yells, 'This is new!'

Karthi looks at the shirt which is a little feminine to my opinion.

'That is a little feminine for a guy!' Vennessa says. Karthi looks a little lost and tensed. His face changes from calm to serious to pissed.

'What perfume is this!' Varsha yells… oh god… it has started… that is why Varsha rummage through his luggage.

Karthi stalks towards Varsha and pulls the luggage from her. He started cursing and yelling at her for going through his stuff… Mentally she is preparing on things that she can question him… She was not looking for things for herself… good girl.

'But you never stopped me before… I always go through your bag… you always buy me something..' she yells half crying. Karthi has always maintained a cool and stable composure at home… he has never lost his temper to anyone in his family especially Varsha. Varsha is his baby sister and he does anything to keep her happy… I have heard him saying it and also witnessed it several times.

'Do not touch my stuff Varsha.. never ever touch my things again.' He says angrily.

'Just because you have a wife now… you are telling me not to touch your things… your wife is more important ehh!' she yells back. The words sting me but I know she doesn't mean it.

'No! I have personal things in it!' and they started yelling to each other… Varsha accuses Karthi for neglecting everyone in the family and giving priority to work and Karthi accusing Varsha being to self-centered… I just can't follow their conversation because when Karthi pulls out his hankie, something shiny falls out of his pocket.

'What is this?' Vennessa reaches to the shiny object.

Karthi leaps rushes to it but is Ven quicker.

'This looks like a wedding ring…' she says. I feel my whole world is collapsing. Wedding ring? Is he married to Shiva? My legs started shaking violently. I held on to the wall. Karthi's mother now is standing between Ven and Karthi.

'Give it to me Ven..' he says with bitterness in his voice which no one could miss.

'Karthi.. what does this ring means? Why is it in your pocket?' I ask him but to my surprise, my voice is very calm and composed. The whole house is quiet. Karthi's mother is starring at Ven and then me looking very confused.

'Can anyone tell me why my two kids are arguing and Vennessa is asking about a ring? What is happening Karthi… You never lost your temper with Varsha… ' Finally my mother in law found her voice and starts talking.

'Mom… Karthi has been acting funny lately… he is not himself…' Varsha yells still in tears… I feel her tears are not fake.. she really loves her brother and now with all the new discoveries, Varsha is pretty much shaken but determined to bring things to light and save me.

'Stop it Varsha!' Karthi yells and his voice radiates throughout the house. Again, silence envelopes the house. Karthi's grandmother walks out from her room with a worried look…

'Why are you shouting Karthi? You never shout… ' His grandmother says but Karthi cuts her off with a very harsh and loud voice.

'I am tired playing the nice guy.'

I walk up to Karthi and place my hand on his shoulder…

'Karthi… come sit… calm down first…' I try to control the situation… but I am dying to get the truth out of him. Karthi's mother sits with him and I simply say, 'You are a nice guy…'

'No Ana.. I am not!' again his voice raises few decibel.

'What are you saying Karthi?' his mother asks. Her face spells worry.

* * *

Karthi POV

'How long are we going keep our relationship secret Karthi?' Shiva asks me. I know we have to come out to light but I just got married… maybe I should have stop my relationship with Ana…

Anastasia was the only girl who manage to attract me in a different way… I was always drawn to guys and happy with their companionship but when I was a teenager, Anastasia started to bloom into a very beautiful girl… she always looked very cute. Her family has attended some functions held at my house and she always manage to make guys drop their jaws with her charm and beauty… she like me… a lot.. and me to.

As I got older, I was too involved in work and met Shiva. Shiva has been a very good colleague and we spend more time together. Ana started flying around once she completed her air hostess training. I only had Shiva to company me and we grew closer and closer. We started enjoying each other's company. One fine day, we were working late in a very small server room. One thing led to another and I discovered my actual preference. I prefer a male to a female… How can I do this? I tried fighting the urge for a long time but not successful. I can't tell out my preference and no one will ever understand. I started leading a double life using Ana as my cover. To my family and friends and everyone, Ana is the light of my life… she is everything… she is part of me.… but secretly I started enjoying life with Shiva.. his companionship made me happy. When my parents proposed marriage with Ana… I just couldn't say no to them.. they seem to be happy to see me settling down in life. Shiva went tornado! He flipped when I told him my marriage plan with Ana

'You cheat!' he yelled. I can't afford to loose him… I have to keep Shiva… I need him more than Ana but I can't loose Ana… if I lose Ana.. I loose my cover. Shiva understood after one week of explanation. We flew to Canada to have a secret marriage to please Shiva. Shiva feels secured after the marriage and did not make much fuss when I proceeded with my marriage plans with Ana. I did feel a twinge of guilt that I am betraying Ana but I need to keep my family happy.. My mother has been planning for my wedding since the day Ana finished her high school.

After my marriage with Ana, I just now could not bring myself to touch her… I don't feel anything when I touch her… I manage to avoid sexual relationship with Ana while on honeymoon and my training at Sydney started at a right time. I thank my lucky stars that Ana also got a training and has to leave to San Francisco. She won't be stuck with my family… I just need to find the courage to tell Ana and split up with her. Singapore law allows nullification of marriage… Ana deserves to be single .. not a divorcee.

'You could apply Karthi…' Shiva tells me while we are having dinner. I raised my concern on Ana's status.. divorce is out of topic. I can't let her suffer because of my selfishness.

'Yes.. I will talk to her when we get back.. I think she has started suspecting me. She doesn't have the warmness in her anymore… she speaks to me as if it is her duty to speak to me. Partially.. I is my fault. I never pay attention to her. I neglect her too much.'

'I am also being a tolerating partner..,' Shiva says quietly.

'I will talk to her..' I give Shiva my word.

* * *

'I am going to apply for annulment of marriage,' Karthi says. His voice rings across the room and I am very sure every heard it. Annulment?

'Annulment? Why on earth!' Vennessa asks… crystal clear.

'I don't deserve Ana… I am a gay… I have another life. I have my partner. I am married to Shiva.' Karthi says . Even though I know what was coming, it actually shocked me to the core hearing it coming from Karthi's lips. It is just crushing to hear Karthi admitting his preference.

'What!' Karthi's mother says quietly. She looks like she is going to breakdown any moment. Karthi's grandmother is lost.. she just don't understand what is actually happening. Varsha is sniffing away after her breakdown. Vennessa… as usual, she has her sarcastic look.

Karthi started explaining how he met Shiva and how their relationship progressed and how bad he feels for me. His mother is hysterical after learning her son's actual self. She started sobbing uncontrollably. I move to her side to console her…

'Sahana… I am so sorry… I pushed him to marry you.. it is all my fault. I have actually destroyed your life… '

'No Aunty.. please don't be upset… this all fated.. it is fated to happen. You didn't know… I didn't know.

'Yeah.. the signs was there.. you were just too blind Annie..' Ven says bitterly. She throws a hostile look to Karthi.

'Ven… I know what I did is wrong..' but Ven cuts him off by saying, 'Wrong! What you did is unforgivable … an idiotic mistake… you knew what you wanted but you were just too selfish… you were only thinking of yourself! Your family… if only you spent five minutes thinking of my sister, you might have changed your mind but you were too busy worrying of your own self!' she shouts. She is standing beside me with her hands around me.

'Alright… everyone… ' I say calmly. I think it is time for me to start talking. Everyone has talked, yelled, cried and went hysterical. I must end this.

' The victim here is me. This is my life and my marriage. It is not right for everyone to criticize Karthi… If he wants Shiva.. let him have it.' I turn to Karthi and say, 'Karthi… I agree with annulment. I am here for one week. Please go ahead with the paperwork.'

Karthi looks up to me slowly… his eyes were apologetic.. I can see his pain…

'Ana, I am so sorry to put you through this… I didn't mean it.'

'Karthi… let's do this amicably.'

'I just don't understand how you could be so calm with him! He betrayed your trust.' Ven spits venom.

'Vennessa… I loved him truly… I understand him better then you… I know he is a good man and he just wanted to keep his family happy. Let him be happy with what he wants.. what he really wants. What he really wants is Shiva… and he will have him.'

Karthi hugs me and whispers, 'Thanks Ana…' I return his hug, 'Don't worry Karthi… I knew all these while' I whisper back.

Karthi breaks the hug and looks at me quizzically. I nod at him, 'I knew Karthi…'

'And you were quiet?' he asks softly.

'Yes… I kind of suspected but did not say anything… hoping you would come clean..'

'Ana.. I am sorry.'

'It's ok…'

I look at Karthi's grandmother who is quietly listening to Varsha explaining about what just transpired and we will be separating. I can see her eyes started to tear.

'I like Sahana so much… even though she was very modernized, she never ever behave disrespectful. She was such an angel.'

'Grandma…' I say… 'Let him go… let him be happy.'

'Will you be happy?' Karthi's mother asks me. She is also sobbing.

'I will be… I have a great job… who knows… I might meet someone..' Oh.. Christian.. how I miss you.

It took the whole afternoon for everything to calm down. Vennessa has been very bitter throughout the day. We were in the room while Karthi has left the house after the episode.

'Ana… can you just pack your clothes!' Ven says a little loud. All three of us are in the room and just sitting around.

'No Ven… I can't … can you see how hurt the family is?'

'My dear sister in law… you are too soft and good… I think you should actually go out and get a life.' Varsha says.

'No.. I am going to be here until things settle down. Karthi already broke his whole family's heart. If I walk out now… it is not going to help. It will break them more.'

'Ann! You are impposible. Anyway… do you want me here?'

'She can share room with me..'

'No… Venn.. you go home. I will come over tomorrow. We can hit the mall.. I will come with Varsha.'

'What every.. I am done packing.'

'Come.. I will follow you until the apartment.'


	25. Chapter 25-Confrontation & Confession 2

_**Hi All - Sorry for the delay as I was tied up at work... I have now completed the story and will be posting chapters gradually... I hope to hear feedback from everyone... **_

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After sending Vennessa to the apartment and making sure she has things to do tonight, which she always do, I return to ground zero. Vennessa has contacted her friends to hit the club tonight and I have to face another round of firing and bombarding. On the way back, my local phone buzzes. I checked and it is a text from Karthi.

'Who isit?'

'Your brother.' I replied.. calmly.

'I just don't understand how you were so calm. Even I knew that he has another life… but when the actual confrontation took place, I couldn't avoid feeling betrayed and cheated.'

'Varsha… you allow emotions to control you… you should allow your brain to register what is happening and when that happens, you will be able to handle things calmly.' I replied. I know I did not go hysterical or loose my head and start shouting but two most important woman in my life… Ven and Varsha actually witnessed my breakdown last night and they helped me pull myself together. Meditation helped me further to calm down and when the atomic bomb was dropped, I was able to control myself and the situation from blowing out of proportion. We are still waiting for Karthi's father's outburst…

'I bet dad will slaughter him!' Varsha says bitterly. She feels her brother has betrayed the whole family.

I checked Karthi's text.

**_Ann… I owe you an apology for ruining your life but I thought I can love you and give you the world. I am sorry…_**

A simple text message that actually shows he is sincere. Not in the last twelve years he actually apologized or felt bad for anything that he has done. But now if there is a sorry coming out from him, even not from his lips but his fingers… it is still a big deal.

'What does that brother of mine wants?'

'He says sorry.'

'What the hell for? For breaking my mother's heart? For destroying my grandmother's hope to see a great grandchild before she dies? For tearing down the family? Dad had so much hope on him…'

'Now Varsha… ' I say as we turn into the road to Karthi's house. I notice his father's Mercedes is parked outside the house… ' I can see your father is back… and I believe your mother would have filled him with whatever that happened this morning. So let's not make the situation sourer then it is.'

'You are just playing the good wife role who supports whatever the husband does… even murder.. I bet you would have hid the body perfectly.'

'Stop it Varsha… come.' I drag Varsha out and step into the house cautiously. As I enter, I can see Karthi's father is fuming in the living room with his mother beside, sobbing quietly. He looks at me straight in the eyes with guilt written all over his face.

'Uncle..' I greet him softly.

'Ana… Your mother in law just told me what happen. What Karthi did is not acceptable… he should have said something… at least to me.'

His voice is soft… but it is heavily laced with anger. I just have no words to reply to him. I smiled a weak smile and say, 'The damage is done… We can't change what happen… we must think what our next step is.'

He nods and sits with my mother in law… Varsha skipped to them and started whispering something… I walk into my room for a bath. It is just exhausting. I am tempted to write to Christian just to check on him… I have begun to miss him… even a middle of crisis. Just as I step out of shower after thinking only about Christian, I hear Karthi's father's voice roaring throughout the house.

'What the hell were you thinking!' Oh boy… he is so angry! I quickly tie up my hair and run down.

'Father… Like I said, I realize what I want…'

'And it is damn bloody late! You destroyed that innocent girl's life!' he yelled again.

'Father…. She unders…' was the only the thing he manage to say. A strong slap hit his check and he looks back at his father in shock. His face then slowly turns into anger…

'I am tired of being told what to do and how to behave and being dictated everything in life. I want my life and it is with Shiva… whether you like it or not!' he spits with anger …

'Ana!' he yells at me which made me jump. Varsha has joined me after hearing her father shouting.

'Yes Karthi…' I say softly. Tears has built up at the brim of my eyes.

'I know I have hurt you!' he says loudly half yelling…

'But I also want you to know that I can't continue our marriage. I have spoken to the lawyer on nullifying our marriage. The paperwork will be done this week… whether you like it or not!' he still speaks loudly.

'Karthi… I love you…' I said softly hoping that he will calm down but he did not… he shouted at my face again.

'Ana! Try to understand! I can't live with you… I can't give you the life you want!' he yells again…

'Karthi! Don't you dare to yell at me… you lied … I have been very calm but now when you yell at me and it is entirely your fault… I can't keep quiet!' I yell back. Varsha looks at me horror struck.

'Anastasia!'

'Karthi! I am the victim here! You lied to me! And you should never have raised your voice to me!' I shout back. All my calmness, composure and politeness just vanished. I have never raised my voice even in front of my parents but today, Karthi made a mistake by yelling and telling me what I should do.

'Ana… listen… we are not getting anywhere… '

'Karthi! Don't you dare raise your voice to Ana.. ' Karthi's father warns him with an angry voice.

'People!' Karthi shouts at the top of his voice. Karthi's mother is crying out loudly.

'Now… I am leaving this house… and I have filed the papers. Anastasia will receive her papers and she is free to lead her life where ever or how ever she wants it! That is final… and Dad!' Karthi yells at his father who is prepared to hit him again if needed.

'Don't you dare to raise your voice at me Karthi!' he says.

'I don't care. I am leaving this house now.' He shouts loudly.

'Karthi! If you leave this house, you will not get a single cent from my fortune! I will not consider you as my son anymore.' He yells with equally loud voice.

'I don't want your money! I don't want anything! You can keep it! I am out of here… forget that you had a son!'

'Ohhhhhhh my family is falling apart…. I can't take this…' Karthi's mother sobs loudly and she tries to stand… she somehow lost her balance and started falling. Varsha and I quickly rush to her and hold her from falling hitting her head. As we place her on the floor, Varsha realize, 'Mom fainted…' she says frantically looking at me.

'Come… carry her… ' I tell her and we started lifting her to the couch.

'Mom..' Karthi says but Varsha was quicker…

'Don't you dare to come near mom… you did this to her… you broke our family.'

'Karthi… move..' his father says… hard but not loud.

'But she…'

'You said I can forget that I have a son… so it is… I have forgotten. Now I have my wife to take care..' he said but surprisingly calm. With that he pushed Karthi aside and lifted his wife and walked out of the house. Varsha and I hurried with him. Leaving Karthi alone in the living room. I called upon the housekeeper and inform her that we are taking Karthi's mother to the hospital and keep an eye on grandmother who is in her room praying… I hope she did not hear the harsh words exchange between Karthi and his father.


	26. Chapter 26 - Realisation

_**Thank you for the support...**_

_**All Reviewers - A big thank you ...**_

_**bianca - No... Ana wants a life with Christian... I never said she wants to be with Karthi again... But as any woman, her first love is buried too deep into her... Anastasia in the original book and mine is different... and as for seeing Christian special... It will be portrayed in future chapters.. I hope you will read it later... Stay tune.**_

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Varsha has gone home to get fresh clothes and toiletries for her mother while I stayed in the hospital. Karthi's has gone to meet a lawyer. I have tried talking to him… to take it slow… thinking of his mother's condition but his only question thrown at me is, 'Do you want to continue to suffer Ana?'

I am on the phone with Karthi outside the ward, while his father is with my mother in law in the emergency room taking care of his wife.

'Karthi… I want you to be happy… and I want to be happy too… as I said, you are free to lead your life and I will sign the papers but now… think of your mother.'

'Ana… this is our life. We decide what we want. The lawyer can get everything done in a week because it is separation of mutual understanding.'

'Karthi… I will sign… And Karthi.. I want to find a life in US. I am thinking of migrating to US.'

'Have you found someone Ana?' his voice is barely a whisper.

'I have met someone… but there is nothing more than friendship.' I decide to tell Karthi about Christian..

'A guy?' He asks.. I can sense jealousy. Why?

'Are you jealous?'

After a few moments of silence… I hear his voice.

'Ana… I can't believe I am saying this… but yes… I am jealous… I always thought you were mine.'

'I am still yours… until I sign the papers… but you never made me yours… I am still me…Same old me like I was when I met you…' there is a bittersweet tone but that is the fact.

'I fucked up!' he says… and this is the first time I am hearing Karthi swearing but still soft.

'Karthi… I just want you to know that… I still love you… you was my first love and I won't forget it.'

'Ana.. you deserve to be happy.' He says.. but I am still wondering why he said that he is tired of being told what to do… I decide to ask him.

'Karthi… if you don't mind, I want to ask you something..'

'Yes Ana…'

'Why did you say that you are tired of being told what you suppose to do?'

'Anastasia… you have only seen me as an obedient child in a proper and happy family… but you have no idea what a dictator my father is… and how my mother controls everything in the house… What I should wear, how I should dress, what I should study…' he trails off…

'Karthi.. you never told me this…' I am hurt that he has never shared his personal life much with me.

'I thought that was how family should be… But I also use to compare my life with yours… you decided what you want to do.. You decide what you want.. You make decisions in your life. I thought of being with you, I can break free from it.. until I realize what I really want…'

'Karthi… your parents care for you.. and your father did not mean what he said on disowning you…'

'I messed up… I know… I will come back when I can face him. I need time to cool down as well. I hope you understand why I yelled..'

'Karthi… make your family understand… I will speak to your father… we can still be friends.'

'Thanks Ana..'

'Bye Karthi…'

With that, I ended the call not waiting for Karthi's reply. I didn't know that breaking up is so difficult and painful. I walk back to the emergency and the nurses are wheeling out the poor lady who is still unconscious. Karthi's father follows out and looked relief after seeing me.

'She is stabilized… but her pressure is still high. They have given her sedation for her to rest. She needs to rest and with medication, her heart rate and pressure should come back to normal.'

I nod understanding her situation. We followed her until the ward and while the nurses' hook her up too all kind of monitoring devices. After she is well settled, Karthi's father asks me, 'Do you want to grab some coffee?'

'Sure… coffee would be great.'

We inform a friendly looking nurse at the nurse counter that we are going to the cafeteria and call us if she wakes up, we walk down to the cafeteria.

Once seated with coffee, I decided that I should talk to Karthi's father about Karthi's decision.

'Uncle, let Karthi have his life. I will sign the papers.' I say softly.

'But dear.. I can't leave you just hanging like that.'

'Uncle… I have a career, I have my life.'

'Yes… but the betrayal… I want to see if I can safe this marriage.'

'No uncle… I don't want to safe this marriage… there is no point in me staying married with Karthi when he wants another life… with another person. Gay marriage is still a taboo here but it is not in other parts of the world. I have travelled the world… I have seen. It took me a while to get in term with what has happened… but I have seen it coming.' I try to make him understand and see Karthi's preference.

'How did you see it coming?' Karthi's father asks.

'Uncle… I shared what happened during the honeymoon with Varsha and my sister.'

'And what happened?' he asks with curiosity. How can I speak about my sex life to my father in law…

'Umm.. uncle… do you mind if I skip that…' I say shyly. How am I going to say that I did not have sex with his son! As I say that, I can feel my blush creeping up my check.

'Fine… and then.. ' I think he got the hint.

'Ven actually got someone to tail Karthi. She found out Karthi has relationship with another man and she gave me proof.'

'And you were quiet all these while?'

'Yes uncle… only Varsha knows.' I say…

'But…' he became wordless.

'Varsha suspected something is amiss when Karthi's activities became suspicious. She has seen him at wrong places at wrong times… She also raised her concern to me and I got Vennessa to help me since she is also at Sydney.'

'So you guys knew it all these while?'

'Yes uncle…'

'Ana… you are like a daughter to me too… you could have told me…' he says with regret.

'And what you would have done? Call Karthi and yelled at him… and what he would have done? He would have just stayed at Sydney without returning to Singapore at all… and I wouldn't get a chance to actually hear it with my own ears…' I say… with hurt.

'Ana… I… I don't know how I am going to face your parents… I am even embarrassed to face you at the moment.' He says quietly looking down at his coffee.

'Uncle… I will speak to my parents… I can assure you that nothing major will happen… I will speak to them with Ven.' I can only assure him… That would be another episode but Ven has assured me that it will be smooth… she has dropped some hints that my parents is aware of the incident as she has hinted them about my broken marriage.

'I am really sorry Ana… We shouldn't have rushed the wedding… it would have given more time for us to discover…' he says… This has to stop… I want a clean out from the family but I like them…

'Ana… even if the divorce goes through… You are always part of the family. What I have said about Karthi stays… I have disowned him.' He continues.

'Now Uncle… I think that is just at the spur of the moment. Karthi is a nice person… please do not do that… he means well… it is just that his preference is such. We can't do anything about it. We just have to accept. It is not common here .. or better said not heard here because people don't say out their sexual preference. But it is common in western countries… We just have to accept. You can't loose your son for this reason…' I reason with Karthi's father… Ven will think that I am stupid to talk on behalf of Karthi but Karthi is a good person… and I did love him… and care for him. Just as we finish our coffee, Karthi's father's phone rings. After finishing his conversation quietly, he ends the call.

'Your mother in law's pressure has stabilized and she has gained consciousness. She wants to see us… you especially.'

'But…'

'Come dear…' he leads the way to my mother in law's room.

Phew… here goes nothing. As we open the door, there is a drip connected to her left arm and she is looking outside the window with a very sad look… She always looked happy and cheerful and in control but now looking at the iron lady of the family being so broken, my anger boil towards Karthi for doing this to his mother.

'Aunty?' I say quietly… she turns toward me and I can see her eyes red from crying…

'Sahana….' She says… and again she breaks down… she started sobbing violently. I rush to her side holding her over her shoulder.

'Aunty… calm down… you should not be sad… it is not good for you…' I try to calm her down.

'Are you okay honey?'

'I am fine… '

'How could you? Your life is literally gone…' I look at father in law for some little help… I can't be repeating what I just told him. Thankfully he understood my look and he sits at the edge of her bed near her legs.

'See … Ana is very clear…. She knew everything… that is why she is so collected and calm. Now… it is you that we have to concentrate… '

'But…'

'No buts… now… ' I just can sit anymore…

'Um… please excuse me… I would like to make some calls…' I say quietly and the old sad couple nods at my direction. I leave the room and get settled in the waiting room with my phone. First I call Varsha and she assured that she will be in the hospital within next 15 minutes. After her, I call my sister. I am sure she might be getting ready or already in one of the club.

'Hello?' I can hear her shouting… yep.. She is in a club.

'Ven.. '

'Ann… give me a minute…' and I can hear her walking out … and finally I can hear silence.

'Ann… yes.'

'Venn… Karthi's mother is in the hospital. She had a panic attack and her pressure dropped terribly.'

'Because of what Karthi did?'

'Karthi and his father had a fight… and he hit him'

'He deserves it!'

'Listen… now my father in law is worried about our parents… how they are going to take it.'

'Look… I know you are soft hearted and will never say anything .. so I took the liberty to explained what happened..' she says with a small pride shining from her voice.

'Everything?' I asked with a horror struck voice.

'Everything… including the annulment.'

'And?'

'They will come around it… I said it is the best for you…'

'Are they..'

'Yes… '

'Should I…'

'Not now… Once you know what you are going to do .. then you call them.'

'Ven… Should I…'

'Yes.. Call Christian…. '

'Will you let me finish my sentence?!' I almost yell at her… but at the end, I smiled at Christian's name.

'Ann… you are my sister and I know what you are thinking… and I want the best for you… and what is best for you is at the other side of the globe.'

'I am not making a mistake?'

'No … Get that into you thick head!' She yells … Alright .. I get it.

'Fine… Varsha will be here any time…'

'And .. Ann… Varsha knows about Christian. I told her about him when I stayed over… She is glad.. but she will be quiet until you talk to her..'

'How can I?'

'Just tell her… She will understand… '

'Fine… thanks Ven!'

With that I end the phone call. Great… Varsha knows about Christian… but… it is betrayal. I was with another…

'Ana…'

'Varsha.. ' I look up.

'How is mom?'

'She is very sad.. upset with what happened but I think she will understand. I had a long talk with your father and he has calmed down.'

'You spoke about…'

'Varsha… Venn told me she told you about Christian… I am..' I cut her mid-sentence… I want to get everything straight and right so I don't need to hide anything.

'No… I know what you are thinking and no… you did not betray anyone… You sent him away… and got in touch recently.'

'Thanks for understanding Varsha…' I say… thankfully everything is going on smooth. My thoughts of Christian is growing stronger and stronger each second…

'Why not you go and see mother… I will wait here.. I need..'

'I know… I will see mom. We can go for dinner after that.' She winks at me and disappears.

I dial up Christian's number…

'Anastasia…' his voice booms in my speaker.

'Christian… why aren't you asleep?'

'I was working… and also thinking about you.' He says softly… seductive even.

'Christian… the cat is out of the bag…' I simply say. I just want to share what is happening in my life now..

'And how did it go?' he asks with full of concern.

'Bad… my mother in law is in the hospital. The family is broken.' I say with a little sadness in my voice.

'Anastasia… I know you worry about everyone except you… but I worry about you.' Christian says genuinely... I can hear his sincerity.

'I will come back soon…' I say… he is so very right about it.

'I will be waiting for you baby… and take care of yourself…' he says… oh.. I know I have fallen in love with him.

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'I have told my family…'

'Oh… and how did it go?' Shiva's face is full of questions and concern.

'My father has disowned me.. ' I replied... I still can't believe my father's word but that is what he has said... I don't really bother about the money... but the relationship... of father son is also broken.

'He what!' he asks... Surprised and wounded.

'Yes… I think I deserve it… for what I have done.' i say stating the fact.

'And your wife?' He asks.. Only to be sure she is not on the way... I don't think he is really concern if she is hurt in the process of breaking the shell.

'She was calm and collected. She understands… and she has let me go.'

'Oh.. I do feel sorry for her…' maybe he really does... I don't know...

'Shiva… I have to go through the annulment.'

'Karthi… I am sorry….'

'It is okay… I know what I want… and …' my voice just cracked... But before I can dwell with my own emotions, Shiva's voice enters my ears.

'When are we returning to Sydney?'

'My lawyer said that the annulment papers will be ready tomorrow… and once it has gone through, we can leave.'

After telling Shiva about what has happened... I head to my Singapore office to just sit and think. I am on leave and not required to go to office but I need a me time and my favorite place to think.

I am sitting alone in the office server room… even the frigid cold is not doing anything to my body. My whole body and soul is numb. My mind starts drifting back to my childhood. My father has been a person who has always controlled me. He decided what color shirt I should wear.. What school I should go to… what higher studies I should do… where I should work… how I should behave… and all these while, I have been complying with him. Anastasia was one thing that I went against him… and it failed. I liked Ana… I loved her… but I love Shiva more… What a mess…

Now my mother is in the hospital and I am the cause of it... I don't want too loose my family... but I want Shiva too. Ana has promised to make my father understand... and knowing that girl, I know she will.


	27. Chapter 27 - Finally It's Over!

_**Thanks again for the wonderful reviews and PM's**_

_**Bianca - Usually when I write... I won't immediately show what actually the character is.. it will eventually develop with the story. Thanks for the Review.. I hope you will enjoy this till the end..**_

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'So you have decided?'

'Yes father… I am sorry to put you all through this…' Karthi says with an apologetic voice.

'You should be apologizing to Ana…' Karthi's father tells him with sourness and bitterness.

I am just tired of this family drama and I decide to step up… They have been going on for the last thirty minutes on who went wrong where and why we should rectify it… What the hell is there to rectify… I want my life away from all this… I want to LIVE my life… not just live life… I have another emotional marathon to go through before this ordeal ends. My parents has flew down from Sydney last night and they are meeting me and Venn at Marina Bay… god bless me.

'No one needs to apologies… I am fine… I am happy… and I want Karthi to be happy… I will sign the papers… Karthi can lead his life.. and I will find my life…. I am returning to US and get a life there…' I say with a strong voice that no one can doubt my confidence. I walk to the coffee table where the papers are laying and quickly pick up the pen and signed the marriage annulment papers. With that I am free… free to be with anyone… _free to be with Christian_. After signing, I pick up the papers and walk to Karthi who is now standing…

'Ana…'

'Karthi… be happy. I am not a bit upset. I am beyond angry, upset or sad… I am glad, I am only disappointed that you did not tell me the truth earlier… we could have avoided all these disappointments… heart aches… ' I look at his parents and his gaze followed mine. I have spoken to Karthi's father and manage to knock some sense into his head. He has accepted Karthi's life.. and allowed him to see his mother and she had a breakdown… yes again… and manage to recover. I manage to stick the family back… else I would have used UHU glue to physically stick them together… Karthi has not come over his guilt but I am tired of his sorry…

'Ana… it is my fault but '

'Don't bother Karthi… And father has accepted you…' I trail off… also peeping if Monica has arrived to pick me up.

'That is thanks to you… you made him understand.' He says… his eyes are dark and sad. I have to escape this plight.

'I tried… That is the only thing I could do to for you… For the love I had for you.' Blah… at this point.. it was a love I had for him… but I love Christian now… he has been very supportive and actually got a lawyer for me to verify the annulment papers. Karthi is well aware of Christian's involvement in it and I don't give a damn…

'Ana… I am sorry to put you through this..' He says while we are waiting at the lawyer's office for the first marriage counseling.

'Karthi… I was disappointed with you after our first week of marriage… You did not touch me.. at all..' I said but my voice is bitter.

'I know Ana… '

'You could have told me.. '

'I just wanted to keep everyone happy.'

'Without realizing the betrayal you are doing to me.'

He looks down. Looking as guilty as he could. I don't give a damn… now I want him to know that I am happy… and going to be very happy.

'Karthi… as I said, I have met this wonderful guy.'

'Ana… i..'

'You have to listen Karthi… it is not worst then knowing that you are married already!' I spit. He hung his head down. There … taste how it feels to be helpless.

'Alright..' he whispers..

'I have met this guy.. and as I said, it is friendship but it might develop into a serious relationship.'

'Will he be able to make you happy?' He asks..

'Yes..'

'How sure are you..'

'Very sure Karthi… his name is Christian. I have told him about the annulment and he has arranged for a lawyer to look after my welfare.'

'I was planning to get one for you..' he says quietly… I wanted to shout at him. You only wanted.. but have not.. Christian has immediately arranged for one after I told him about the annulment yesterday evening… Gah.

'It is okay Karthi…'

'Were you in relationship with him before we got married?' He asks.. and I can hear anger in his voice.

'No Karthi… I met him before we got married but I have declined his advances saying that I am marrying you. He saw me at New York after our wedding..' I am nice enough not to rub the salt… He left me a virgin and cut short our honeymoon.

'And did you guys go out?'

'Karthi… he saw me.. I did not… He sent me a note.. that's it.'

'Then when did…' I raise my hand.

'Let me talk… I mailed him when I reached San Francisco for my training… I was lonely. I we met for dinner. After dinner he left San Francisco… and that is when Venn told me about your… ummm preference.'

'You knew earlier..'

'Yes… Christian was with me consoling me.. He is the reason why I am here.. else I would be six feet under.'

'An..' before Karthi can say what he wants to say… the counselor calls us. In the room, the lawyer and the counselor is waiting for us. After half an hour of talk, they granted annulment and the papers will be ready within two days. I gave my lawyer's details and they will coordinate with my lawyer..

Christian's lawyer was curious on my relationship with Christian but thank god he had the decency to keep his mouth shut. Once all verified, Karthi brought the papers back home where I can sign it and then I am on my own.

I am now packed and ready to leave the house… Karthi's grandmother has not understood why we are separating but my mother in law has assured me that she will understand soon… she will make her understand. They tried to stop me from leaving the house but I just need to be away… I want my life back and I had made it clear that after signing the papers, I will not stay in the house. Karthi will spend few more days in Singapore before flying back to Sydney. Our lawyers will make sure that the annulment is done based on mutual separation and we are free to go on our own way.

'Ana.. I will send you to…'

'No Karthi… I will find my way… Monica is coming to pick me up… I am going back to my apartment.'

'Take care Ana…' he says and his voice is gloomy.

I bid my goodbye to Karthi's father, mother and grandmother. It was an emotional goodbye but again, they say that I am welcomed to their home anytime…

'I will come back…I will visit when I fly to Singapore in future…' I assured them and left with my luggage.

* * *

'So you are free!' Monica exclaimed when I enter the car.

'Yes…' I smile weakly to her. Grandma's word is still ringing in my ears…

'I liked you… even though you were to modernized for my family… you were still very cultured.. don't forget this old lady Sahana…'

We are on our way to my apartment where Ven is waiting for us and we have decided to hit the mall and enjoy our singlehood… after meeting my parents.

* * *

'Anastasia… my darling… ' my mother starts with the water works. We reached the suite that she has rented and my dad is in the shower. Ven plops on the couch and I sit beside her.

'Mom… off all person… you are crying?'

'It's my daughter's life…'

'Mom… I am fine..'

'Mom… please…Ann needs a better life that what she had… She is still a virgin for heaven sakes…' Ven spits.. She is still angry with the betrayal..

'Venn… enough..' I tell her…

'Mom… I am fine.. and I am happy with what has happened… at least I am still not stuck in the marriage without knowing the truth and living miserable…' I speak my mind off.

'She is right Jennifer.. ' my dad's voice comes from the room… oh great..

'Oh.. stop it Ray…'

'Mom.. look … I have met someone…' my mother's teary eyes gets wider in shock… I can hear my dad laughing…

'That's my daughter.' And his voice is happy.

'Actually… ' I start explaining what actually happened and how we found out. My dad is happy that Ven actually manage to uncover the truth and how strongly I am taking it.

'I am happy that you are not sulking over your ex-husband' dad says… Since dad is from US, he understands Karthi's preference and annulment would be the only solution but mother is still emotional.

'They are so easy to handle compared to the drama that happened at my in-laws..' I whisper to Ven. Ven just smiled at me.

'So Ana… tell about this Christian boy…' mom says after composing herself… and a long talk with dad… I even had a short nap while mom came to terms that her younger daughter is now single…

'I met him in a flight mom… but we are just friends now…'

'But Ven..' mom starts but I cut her off..

'Mom… it's my life… and Christian is just a friend…' I emphasize the word friend but Ven laughed and said… 'at the moment mom…. '

'You two are impossible… one is talking about being independent and single… and another is married and divorced in a blink… where did I go wrong?' she says but I can sense humor in her voice..

After spending some memorable time with Ven, Varsha, Monica and my parents, I return to San Francisco… my stomach is full of butterflies on my way back… I am going to face Christian after two weeks… after being a single woman again… and.. Is he ready to accept me back?

I land at 8.40pm. I walk straight to the office to report to the office and Ms Smith was there waiting…

'Hi Ana..'

'Hi Ms….' And she immediately, 'Ahem' .. and I remembered… 'Amy…'

'How did everything go?' she ask with a huge smile… I decided to tell her what happened and she just slumped to her seat…

'So you just got separated… just like that?' she asks…

'Yes Amy….'

'Oh dear… I am sorry to hear that…'

'I am fine… I am back to lead a fresh life…'

'Good luck dear… and you did not reply my last mail so I am assuming you did not read it. The training will be starting next Wednesday… so you have about 5 days before you start. Use that time..' She says with a symphatical voice..

'I will be fine… Is Shanda and Kristie around?'

'They have gone to Japan… they will be back on Monday. That is why the training is starting on Wednesday.'

'Alright…' great… alone without Shanda… and Kristie. I pick up my luggage and walk out to hail a cab but a surprise is waiting for me…


	28. Chapter 28 - The Declaration

_**Hi there... All darling reviewers, readers and followers... Thank you for all the wonderful messages and PM's and reviews.. I appreciate each and every one of it.. Finally... This story has come to the end and this is the final chapter for Fifty Shades of Dejavu. I hope everyone has enjoyed this story with me and this has been a personal journey as well.. AS I mentioned, this is based on a true story of a family member. Thank you so much for the support...**_

_**Bianca - Thank you for the sweet message**_

* * *

'Anastasia….' Christian greets with a huge smile on his face and looking crispy and handsome as usual…

'Christian…' I reply with surprise. I walk up to him and his smile grew wider…

'What on earth are you doing here?' I ask surprised but happy. I texted Christian before boarding yesterday and today he is here… yeah.. He has a jet and he can drop everything and fly anywhere he wants…

'To see you…' he replies and continues softly…'I missed you… I have to see you… '

'I missed you too..' I reply shyly. We got into the car and drive off to where I don't know…

'Where are we going Christian?'

'We must talk…' he says looking straight into my eyes… I know we have to talk but so soon? I ask myself.

'Where are we going to talk?' I ask him… equal stare and his gaze softened.

'We are going to drop your luggage at your place and going for supper…'

'Or…. We can stay at my place and talk…'

'I have arranged for supper at the hotel I am staying… and we are going there.' He says all business like.

'Christian… thanks for deciding but may I seek your permission to freshen up?' I asked sarcastically

'Anastasia… is that sarcasm I hear in your voice?' he asks but amusement is dancing in his voice..

'Yes…' I replied but he just smirked at me. I throw my glance out of the window into the darkness which is occasionally lit up by the street lights.

I see that we are pulling up at my apartment and Christian hasn't stopped smirking. Before I could open the door, Christian jumps out from his side, and rushed to my door and opened it. He gets the trunk and takes out my luggage and holds my hand.

'Come..' he says…

'It is my home… so.. come…' I say and lead the way. He has decided what I should do… I will show him that I don't do what I don't want to do. I open the door and lead the way while he follows me into the house.

'Give me ten minutes… I will just take a quick shower and make yourself home…' I say and turn away. But just as I turn away.. Christian tugs my hand and turns me around. He crushes his lips against my lips hard and needy… his hands holding me tight against his hard body around my waist. He has trapped my arms at my side and he is so strong… a small bite on my lower lips actually make me melt against his hard body. One arm circling my waist and another holding my head against his lips… He smells woody and heavenly…

'That is… ' I say breathlessly… unable to continue my sentence.

'Amazing… you lips is soft… and amazing' Christian says smiling…

'Christian…'

'Ana… quick.. Shower… I really have to talk to you…' he says and his face expresses different emotions – worried, excited, uncertainty.

'Only if you let me go… ' I say smirking at him and he laughs… Another kiss on my forehead he releases me and I walk to my room to shower… I put on my black jeans and beige frilled sleeveless blouse. A little blush and gloss, I am ready to go. When I opened the door and appear in the living room, Christian is going through one of my notes from training. I clear my throat and Christian face fills with happy smile.

'You are so beautiful…'

'So do you… you are always crisply handsome!' I replied.

'Ready?'

'Yes… but where are we going?'

'Trust me?' he asks softly looking straight into my eyes… his gray eyes are so needy, wanting, pure… asking.

'Yes..' I reply nodding. He leads the way to his car and once seated in the car, my stomach is in knots… Where is he taking me at the middle of the night? He gets into the car and starts driving. During the quiet drive, I decided to call my sister to inform her that I am back safely. I pull out my phone and Christian was quick to glance in my direction.

'I need to call my sister…' I say simply without any emotion display and call her number. Christian's hand loosens the grip of the gear.. What is his problem? Why is he edgy?

'Ven?'

'Hey… you have arrived?'

'Yes… How are mom and dad?' I am still worried about them… my mother has the tendency to break down even after an issue is solved.

'Mom is fine.. We are leaving Singapore tomorrow evening.'

'Alright…'

'Ann… follow your heart…' she says softly. I quickly throw my glance to Christian and I know I am following my heart… I decided to reply Ven and make sure Christian knows it.

'Venn… I am following my heart… Talk to you later… bye.'

'Bye dear.' Ven says and I end the call and put my phone back into my clutch.

'Following your heart Ms Steele?' Christian ask but his voice is more relaxed.. His whole body has relaxed.

'Yes Mr Grey…' I replied.

'We are here..' he says and exits the car and quickly came around to open my door. He helps me out of the car and tosses his key to the valet and leads me inside into a private dining area. After taking our seats, Christian signals the waitress to bring our meal.

'I believe your lawyer has advised you on the outcome of my ummm annulment?' I ask him.

'Yes… how are you feeling?' he asks with concern.

XXXX

_Flashback of conversation between Ana and Christian while Ana is still in Singapore_

'Christian… Everything is fine now… Karthi's family has accepted him but only his grandmother has not come to terms on what happened… My parents have accepted my decision. Just that my mother is still upset..' I called Christian after I manage to slip away from my family after dinner.

'Anastasia.. You worry about everyone except you.' He says with concern..

'Christian… how are you?' I ask him... Only I know how much I miss him... He has been occupying my dreams - day and night... I just want Christian to hold my and I will feel a zillion times better... His touch brings life to my body... And he actually touches my soul...

'I miss you terribly' he says with a whisper but I can hear his sincerity… 'When are you coming back?' He continues..

'I am leaving tomorrow early morning… I should be in San Francisco tomorrow late evening.'

'Anastasia…'

'Christian… I miss you a lot… I ..' I just can't say that I love him… I have to see him..

'I will see you baby… ' he says softly… I can just melt hearing his voice.

'Anastasia… take care of yourself..'

* * *

'I am fine Christian…' I reply… I remember my conversation and he has told me a few times that I don't care of myself…

'Anastasia… ' he says my name and clears his throat. After a short silence, 'Anastasia… I want you… I need you.'

Huh… my fork is midair with salad and my mouth is slightly open…

'Ch..'

'Anastasia… I think I am in love with you… I need you… These two weeks has been a living hell for me. I was on my toes until you return… I was just restless…'

* * *

Anastasia's lawyer has updated me that the annulment is through and she is free as a bird… now I can make her mine… only mine…

I have converted the playroom into Anastasia's room… her study.. I have decorated the room in blue with her posters decorating the walls… The room is my escape.. Hell yes it was an escape for me while it was a playroom for my weekend activities but now… it is a place where I can actually relax in this room just looking at her posters.. Her eyes are lovely… her smile is mesmerizing. I will try to persuade her to live with me… I know she won't, she loves a job a lot… A man can dream and try…

After her phone call, I am just in cloud nine… Anastasia is returning and I am going to ask her to be my girlfriend… I realize I love her and she is the only one I want. I have told her about my BDSM habit but now I am clean… I am out of the habit and it is all because of Ana… my Ana…

I want to show her the world… show her love… love that she never had …

That moment, when I saw her on that plane eight months ago… I know she is the face that has been haunting me since I was a teenager. She was the reason behind my sub characteristic – brunet long wavy hair, milky skin, pointed face… but I never found the face… the person that I want. I felt like I hit the jackpot when I saw her… I chased her and when she denied her feelings and pushed me away, I was crushed. I drink away on her wedding day… I fired twelve people during her honeymoon… not that she is the cause of it but I was too angry… way too angry to tolerate any incompetency.

Her musical voice made my day when she told me she is returning to San Francisco and I hop on my jet just to meet her… I arrange for a dinner just to ask her to be my girlfriend… be mine.. Only mine.

* * *

'Christian… I realize that I am in love with you too… I couldn't help but to think of you.. You filled my mind day and night.

'Are you sure this is what you want? I don't want to push you… but I..'

'Christian .. I know what I want. I want my life and I want you in it. And I am sure of it… I know this is what I want. I have given a long thought about it.. Throughout the flight.'

Christian reaches my hand and holds hid as if his life hangs on it.

'Anastasia… I waited for you for eight long months… I got drunk on your wedding night.. I thought I had lost you.'

'But..' I wanted to ask him so many questions but he hushes me.

'Let me speak Ana…' I nod at him… and he is still holding my hand.

'Ana… when I first saw you, I felt I knew you for my entire life… as you know, the type of relationship I was in before..' I nod at him… I know he is involved in BDSM but to what extent? Is he still with them? Was he involved emotionally? I don't know,

'Anastasia… I can read your face. I know what is going on in your mind… No Ana… I was not involved emotionally with any one of my subs… it was a pure business arrangement.' I opened my mouth to ask a question that is bothering me but he places his index finger on my lips…

'I am in a clean bill of health.. I can assure you that.' I nod at him… trusting him. His eyes show that he speaks the truth… I can see the honesty in him through his gray eyes… which I have never seen in Karthi…

'Anastasia… after I saw you on that flight the first time, I had a sub, Merci. I tried to forget you but was not successful. I saw you in Merci… but it was not enough… I wanted you. I ended the contract… I started following you.' He stops and took a long sip of his wine.

'Anastasia… after ending the contract, I destroyed the playroom. I redecorated the room – for you.' He smiles feeling that he has accomplished a big thing.

'That is very thoughtful Christian but I need to know something…' Now I am worried… he wants me.. Alright… but as a what? Sub? Hell no!

'Anastasia… I don't want you as my sub. I want you…as a special person in my life…. My girlfriend..' he says with a spark in his eyes and a big wide smile.

'Christian… I… I… '

'Anastasia… I love you…' and he kisses my knuckles… he rises from his seat. I followed him and got on my feet.

I look into his beautiful eyes and I know what I want…

'Christian… I love you too….' I said and I know I mean it and I know Christian means every word and for the first time, I know I am being loved….

END OF PART ONE - STAY TUNE FOR THE SECOND PART OF ANA AND CHRISTIAN'S LIFE IN THE SEQUEL...


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